What I can't Have
by KatieWoo
Summary: Adam Copeland is a heartbreaker and he doesn't even know his doomed affair with Lita is breaking the heart of his best friend Diva Kat Black. Will he open his eyes in time before ghost from both of their pasts destroy it all?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: In this story imagine if the Edge and Lita affair was happening right now and that I've played fast and loose with some WWE details but it's fiction so lets forget that ;) Contains major Amy/Lita bashing but she's the bitch of this story so that's just the way it goes lol.**

**Hope you like it. R&R please.**

**I only own my O. Cs.**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 1

Her life utterly sucked!

Okay, not all of her life, but her private life did! The only thing keeping her going was her job- she was a WWE Diva. She was celebrated as being part of the driving force revolutionising the Divas division. She was part of the 'Divas of Doom' with Beth and Natalya, who were her girlfriends, as well as her partners in crime.

Katarina ''Kat Black'' Blackmore, was 26, slender, strong, buxom without the need for plastic surgery, she was hailed as the beauty of the rebels. But, Katarina didn't feel beautiful or strong, or like rebel against the ''Barbie Dolls'' that were killing the credibility of women's wrestling. No, Kat felt weak and just...broken.

She lay on her hotel room couch, listening to sad songs on her ipod as the music filtered from the speaker dock, she was in candle light, drinking glass after glass of red wine, crying her eyes out.

She wanted to hate him, God did she want to hate him, but she'd loved him since she was 18 and began her training. Adam ''Edge'' Copeland was one of her mentors and best friends, he might have been 12 years older than her but he'd never treat her like a kid. Adam and Jay Reso had guided her and harnessed her natural talent and fearless power and helped her to become the incredible competitor she was currently.

Now Kat was 26, Adam was 38 and making her hurt like she'd never believed she could hurt. She was in love with a guy who- right now was fucking the brains out of the biggest whore the WWE had ever employed- Amy ''Lita'' Dumas.

She'd screwed most of the roster already, then she'd dunk her venomous teeth into the sweet Matt Hardy, they'd gotten engaged!

Then BOOM 10 months later after the engagement, Amy and Adams 3 month affair is revealed. Matt was so heart broken, he quit. Poor Matt! Adam had been one of Matt's closest friends off camera and he'd gone and done that to him. Talk about the royal screw over

Now Adam and that slut were the talk of the show and put in a story line about it. Only 2 hours ago Kat had been at the arena in the 'Divas of Doom' locker room, fresh from a victory over Kelly Kelly, she'd known what was going to happen after the commercial break. On auto pilot, she'd shed her ring gear, quickly showered and got dressed into her street clothes. Beth and Nattie were wary of her, she was a time bomb ready to blow any second.

She'd clutched her coat around her, sat on the couch, staring at the wall mounted TV as Adam and that red-headed skank emerged to cheers and boos, they exchanged a full-on kiss at the top of the ramp then begin walking down hand in hand.

''Kitty Kat don't watch this.'' Mattie said, seeing her frozen expression.

''I need to,'' she said, completely mono-tone.

What she'd seen was probably the most soul destroying 10 minutes of her life- the bed in the ring, the words 'Live Sex Celebration' ringing in her ears. Okay, it was scripted but Jesus seeing them strip each other down to their underwear and dive under the covers, was like a snap shot inside their sordid affair.

''Kat, please don't watch this.'' Beth begged.

She'd grabbed her bag and just ran.

The hotel was just down the street, so she had time to grab 4 bottles of red wine from the little store on the corner, she got the good stuff. If she was going to get drunk to the level she was planning on, she might as well make it as pleasant as possible while she hid in her room.

She was on her second bottle already and she'd cried off all her on-screen make up that she'd failed to remove in the shower. She now had streaks up her hands and arms from wiping her tears. Her long dark chocolate waves were in disarray, she was in boy shorts, her favourite shirt, it'd been her dad's so it was huge on her.

Her dad had been a very famous wrestler when the company was still WWF, Nathan ''Nate Black'' Blackmore, had been best friends with Jay's dad Bill Reso, the pair had trained Adam and Jay when they were teenagers. Nate had passed away when Kat was only 15.

The shirt was black with red cracked writing that read- ''Nate Is Bringin' The Hate!''

She heard a knock on her door- ''Kitty Kat, open up baby.''

She knew Jay's voice, but she couldn't handle seeing him, he knew her too well, there was no hiding anything from someone as smart as Jay.

'Go..Go away Jay-Jay.'' she called.

Jay stood by her door, hoping to God she wasn't too fucked up in there. Since Adam had hooked up with Amy, his favourite Diva had been in Hell. Jay knew Katarina was in love with Adam and what pissed Jay off was that Adam had lead her on. He'd flirted with her, interfered in her private life, teased her and been occasionally really sexually suggestive, yet been oblivious to her feelings. Jay had told him off several times over the years, because it killed Jay to see her hurting when Adam went and dated other girls, leaving Kat high and dry, nursing her wounds.

''Open up Kat, Beth said you bailed.''

Katarina laughed bitterly- ''The live p-porno got...a little tedious for my tastes.''

He could hear that she was drunk- ''Just open up...please.''

Katarina struggled to her feet, sweeping her long bangs out of her green sore eyes and opened the door to the nicest guy she knew.

When he saw her, his heart broke, the string bad ass Diva was looking so vulnerable and so young, she might be 26, but in that second she looked about 16.

He stepped into the room, neat as a pin as usual, but totally ready to suck down a heartbroken girl, he put the lamp on, blew out the candles, turned off the music and joined her on the couch, where she'd already poured him a glass, he accepted and took a sip.

''Hmm, that's pretty good.''

''Sh-should be, it's $100 a bottle. Roughly a buck a mouth full.'' she winked.

Jay put an arm around her, smiling- ''You're necking wine at $100 a pop and you're sharing?''

''See- generous and a good rack.'' she joked, putting her head on his shoulder.

''Funny too.'' he nudged her.

''I'm practically perfect.'' she laughed, wiping away a stray tear.

''No no, don't dry.'' he set his glass aside and held her closer to him- ''Adam is a fucking idiot when it comes to his love life.''

''He's a home wrecker1 Poor Matt -he quit!''

Jay rubbed her back- ''Matt's going back to WCW.''

''Holy shit!'' she said sitting up, wiping her eyes- ''she's chased him off. I bet Vince and Stephanie are pissed.''

''Oh yeah, she's in deep shit. Her contract is up in a month. Vickie Guerrero told me that the board might not offer her a renewal. Creative are on a mission to wrap up her story line A.S.A.P.''

Katarina burst out laughing- ''Karma!''

Jay smirked that famous smirk- ''Aint it a bitch.''

''Wait- how.. how did Vickie find out?''

''By being the sneaky, nosey bitch we know and love.'' he replied.

''God bless that cougar.''

They toasted to it.

Her phone went off, she checked the caller I.D, it was Matt Korklan aka- Evan Bourne, she shot Jay a look and showed him the phone, Jay blew out a breath-

''Ooh, a fellow heart broken soul.''

She nodded, taking the call from her friend-

''Hey my high-flyer.''

''Hey.. that bitch..just got engaged!''

''Oh shit, Matt are you ok?''

''I'm..I'm a bit drunk.''

''M..me too honey- you want a drinking buddy?''

He laughed- ''Sure, I'm coming up..just in the h-hotel bar.''

''See you in a sec my high-flyer.''

''Ok.''

When she hung up Jay cringed- ''What's up with Korklan?''

''The ex just got engaged.''

''fuck, that's fast. Well, I'm going to jump in my shower and go to bed. Are you sure you two are going to be ok?''

''We'll be fine, we're both small people, we can't stay awake for very long after the..amount we've probably drank. An hour from now he'll be asleep on this very couch.''

''Or taking turns throwing up.'' he grinned.

They went to the door, he opened it and they stood in the doorway, just in time to see Adam and Amy heading up the corridor to their room on the same floor. Jay hugged Katarina and whispered in her ear- ''$20 says she gives him crabs.''

She laughed, loud enough for her and Jay to earn a a very hostile look from Amy. But when Jay saw Adam's face, clearly a scantily clad Kat in his arms didn't sit well with the Rated R Superstar. If Jay wasn't mistaken Ad looked...jealous?

Served the guy right, he'd made his choice! Jay thought.

When the 'Dirty Duo' turned the corner, they spotted Matt Korklan getting off the elevator, not trashed, but tipsy. Jay shot her a look as he ambled closer. He liked the guy, he just hoped the two didn't get too drunk or did anything crazy like drunkenly having sex.

''Hey Matt.''

''Hey J-Jay. You joining us?''

Jay shook his head-''No, I'm taking my old bones to bed, you two crazy kids don't go too wild.''

Matt nodded- ''Night.''

Katarina kissed him on the cheek and said 'goodnight' to him.

In the room with Matt, he asked -''A-Are you okay Kitty Kat?''

She sat down sighing shaking her bangs from her eyes- ''No... not at all.''

Handing him a glass of wine, he nodded his thanks- ''are you ever going to tell me..who this jerk is?''

She cringed- ''No..no names, he's..oh God- he's just beautiful...he knows ME.. the real me...he's amazing.''

''when he's not breaking y-your heart.''

she took a big gulp of wine- ''Yes, when he's not doing that.''

Putting the music back on, she asked- ''when did you hear about HER?''

They never used HER name.

''My brother called me, he...saw the prick pop the question. It was in that restaurant I took her to for our 2 year anniversary.'' he knocked back 2 gulps from his glass.

Down the other end of the hotel, in Amy and Adams room, Amy was frowning at him-

''What's wrong now?''

He was stomping around like a mad man, running his hands through his blonde locks, that sat just below his impressive shoulders. His wide green eyes were darting around the room, Amy was getting pissed at him now-

''What the hell is wrong with you? You were fine a minute ago!''

Adam found her voice irritating suddenly- ''Just shut up, give me a minute, please!''

She scowled- ''It's that little bitch- are you sure nothing went on with her?''

Her accusing tone riled him- ''I've told you a million times I haven't slept with her. You really should be more secure!''

Hating his snapping attitude, she stormed into the bathroom to shower and calm down. That little bitch was the thorn in her side! Kat Black or ''Kitty Kat'' as Adam and Jay had nicknamed her was probably the best Diva they had at the company. She fought like a man, and for a 5ft6 girl who probably wasn't much over 120lbs, she was incredible. She could throw guys around!

Amy knew to her bones that Adam had some kind of history with her, she was so so beautiful. Not plastic like Kelly with her bleach blonde hair and plastic boobs and porcelain teeth veneers. Kat was natural and pure, she looked like an innocent girl next door. Well, if the street you lived on bread deceivingly strong girls with natural D-cup racks and a roundhouse kick that could take the head off a guys shoulders.

She wasn't stupid, she'd seen the way he used to behave around Katarina,there'd been so many rumours about the pair. Hell, everyone had seen him flirting with her, he'd even dragged her into the guys locker room, when she was only wearing a towel, she'd been slung over his shoulder, screaming her head off at him. He'd ran down the corridor, spanking her ass, he'd then disappeared behind the guys locker room door. Amy had later found out from the guys in there, that Adam had told Kat that it was to get her over her shyness and if that didn't work he was going to strip her down and get her in the showers with him to see how shy she really was.

It reeked, their whole ''friendship'' did!

In the bedroom, Adam was plagued by his own thoughts, tonight was the 3rd or 4th time he'd seen Jay with his hands all over Kat. He'd known Jay his whole life and trusted him with his life, but the thought of him touching her, holding her, being intimate with her.. if they were...Oh fuck NO! No way, jay couldn't have her, she was HIS! Nobody was allowed near her...he'd have to speak to Jay about this, put some boundaries in place when it came to HIS Kitty Kat!

Shit...she couldn't be HIS Kitty Kat, he was with Amy, he'd done bad things to be with Amy, things he'd never be forgiven for. He'd lied, cheated, destroyed an engagement, several friendships and at first being with Amy had felt SO worth it. But, now they were both feeling the pressure to make it work and the pressure of their now public decision. Now guilt was eating him up inside.

Her confidence was wavering , not only when it came to him, but when it came to herself too. She was becoming increasingly paranoid about him and the younger Divas, specifically a 26 year old brunette. He knew it was understandable, Amy was 37 now and after several injuries in the ring, she wasn't at the top of her game any more.

Yet, Kat- wow, that girl just lit up the ring, considering she was a heel, she was loved by her fans, they were called -'The Kat Army' and her entrance theme was so cool, it was AC/DC ''Back In Black.'' She was just as strong as Beth ans Natalya but not as muscular, she was toned beautifully. Being naturally petite added a level of shock when she could beat the crap out of a guy. The girl could do high flyer moves that Evan Bourne and Sin Cara would kill for. She could go toe to toe on with anyone, she didn't do any ''Barbie'' ass wiggling, she was all ass kicking!

She could do a crazy move that she'd invented, it was performed on tall guys, it was called ''The Ladder'' She ran at a guy and literally climbed up their body, swung over their shoulder catching them in a head-lock, then she'd pull them over on to their back for a pin. She'd been 18 when she'd developed that move with Jay and himself. She hadn't been sure how to pull it off, so they'd advised and one day it had just come together, she'd named it in honour of their old T.L.C matches.

He liked thinking back to when they'd began training her. But his messed up head took him back to the day he'd first felt his heart break over her.

(Flashback)

_Tampa Florida 8 years ago._

_Adam and Jay were in their training area- Bill Reso and the late great Nate Black's converted warehouse, warming up waiting for Katarina. They were early and it'd been her graduation party the night before, so they had no idea what state to expect her to show up in._

_Adam knew that snake of a boyfriend was trying to get into her pants and so far Kat hadn't let him, she was a good girl and not many of them were around. He was glad that she'd saved herself, that she respected her body._

_Outside Katarina was parking her her dad's old 1967 metallic blue Ford Mustang and she wondered how she was ever going to face the pair inside. She'd been training with then for 5 months and her crush on Adam had turned into true love, not that anyone knew. But that pair inside knew her every mood._

_She'd done a thorough hickey check, showered twice and just hoped and prayed that they couldn't tell she'd gone all the way with her boyfriend the night before. Oops he was her ex-boyfriend now. Was it weird that she had no urge to cry?_

_Well, she'd long ago accepted that this was how it was going to be, he was going to New York, to college to study journalism and she'd be hitting the indie wrestling circuits. They'd agreed that after graduation they'd have ''one night'' to say goodbye and they'd part ways._

_Getting out of the car, she got her bag and felt a dull ache below her waist and fought a blush and a smirk at the memory. Nothing would hinder her training, hell she'd carried on through insane period pain and glandular fever, so this would be easy!_

_When she got inside, she smiled at the two tall blonde Canadians and said- ''morning.''_

_Jay turned grinning- ''Morning Kitty Kat.''_

_Then Adam had looked directly at her, with those green eyes, he''d been going over every detail, she __knew it!_

_Adam was looking for chapped lips, stubble burn, nail marks,- anything to give her away, but she looked fine. Then he looked her in the eye, she'd gone red in the cheeks and broken eye contact. Alarm bells were clanging to the sound of Aerosmith- ''Young Lust.'' He prayed to God that it was just his imagination._

_Jay interrupted their awkward moment- ''So..how was the party?''_

_''It was good,'' she smiled looking so innocent._

_''Was your boy-toy there?'' Adam inquired, a sickly smile on his face._

_Katarina had gone even redder, pursing her lips together, she headed to the locker room to get changed._

_''Really tactful Ad.'' Jay sighed._

_''Sorry but that little prick is only after one thing and I hope she's smart enough not to give him it.''_

_Jay shook his head- ''Lay off her, she'd 18 it's legal, she'd not dumb- far from it.''_

_Adam had seen her re-enter in her shorts, tank top, sports bra knee and elbow pads, all in black as usual, her long hair in a high pony tail. She began doing her stretches to warm up._

_He'd heard her make a very faint sound of discomfort as she did leg stretches. There it was Aerosmith torturing his paranoia yet again._

_''What was that?'' her inquired sharply, pointing right at her._

_Her eyes shot up- ''what was what?''_

_''That noise, you're in pain- are you injured?''_

_She's blushed- ''No, I'm not injured it's...'' she inclined her head._

_''don't pull that 'time of the month' crap, I know it's not. So, are you going to tell me the truth or not?'' Adam got pissed and pointed in her face rudely. _

_Jay had gotten I his face- ''Hey! Back off!''_

_''No, not until, Kat tells the truth,'' his eyes had gone from Jays to Kats over Jays shoulder- ''Tell me the truth, you had sex with him last night didn't you!''_

_Jay had rolled his eyes- ''Oh Jesus.''_

_She'd gone bright red under Adam's peeved stare, but that strong girl squared her shoulders, raised her chin and looked up in to his eyes and said- ''Yes! I had sex with him and he was great!'' she'd smirked, daring him to carry on, she was ready to kick his ass now._

_Instant heartbreak!_

_An 18 year old girl had broken a 30 year old heart, by doing what teenagers do all the time- have sex._

_''Why so quiet Copeland? You were full of chat a second ago.'' she said, glaring up at him._

_She'd walked away and gotten in the ring with Jay. Adam had pulled himself out of his zombie-like state and said-_

_''It shouldn't have been with a guy like him.''_

_She's looked at him, leaning on the turn buckle- ''You can judge me for my choice, but it won't change anything. Look back at your teens, you weren't an angel. So, THAT makes you a hypocrite.''_

_He'd sat on the old couch in the corner mentally going over her words, she was right, as a teen he'd been the school stud! But her boyfriend was a cocky, bad boy type, who was too smart for his own good. To think about his hands all over Kat, HIS Kat, made him ragingly angry. That kid had kissed her lips, felt her silky soft skin beneath him. He'd been the first one to know her body, he first to hear those intimate sounds she'd make during...NO it wasn't supposed to be like that!_

(PRESENT DAY)

Adam had had a plan, that when Katarina was 20, he was going to tell her how he felt and hopefully she'd feel the same way and he'd be her first. But, life didn't follow plans very well.

At the moment they were barely speaking, his resent antics had disappointed her and his mom – Judy. Judy had voiced her strong dislike for Amy, but being the loving mother that she was, she'd said she wouldn't stand in his way if Amy was his choice.

But Kat hadn't been quite so understanding, which he got, he'd lied to Kat so much. He'd ditched her twice at lunch to go and have secret sex with Amy. Hell, he'd stood her up twice- once after a show and the other for a night out at a club. He'd lied every time- badly and eventually she'd stopped wanting to make plans with him and stopped including him in invites, he's let her down so much over the past 3 months while the affair was going on.

He'd been a shitty friend to her and Jay during those 3 months of secret screwing. He wanted to know if Jay was up to something with Katarina, so while Amy was showering he called Jay.

Jay had just began drifting off to sleep, when he heard his phone blare out Adam's assigned tone, he groaned, sleepily reaching or his phone, playing air-hockey with it for a few seconds before he got a-hold of it-

''Hello, I was sleeping, this had better be good Ads.''

''One question- Are you sleeping with Katarina?''

Jay sighed- ''Listen and listen good- I've known you 34 years, since we were little kids ans I see you as my brother, so open up those ears- not everyone is off having secret sex with colleagues and friends. You're paranoid, she'd my only female friend and I'd like to keep her in my life, so NO Adam I'm not nor have I ever slept with her. Goodnight you crazy man. Get some sleep you're getting nutty.''

He hung up, slinging his phone on the night stand once again, pulling the covers up over his head, hoping sleep would come back to him.

Adam believed Jay, he'd never lie to him, not about something as important as Katarina.

**AN: It's long but it's going somewhere. R&R please.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: thank you to everyone who read my first chapter. I don't want Adam to come across as too much of a whore in this story, because he's just too damn nice to hate (hot too) any way on with the second chapter. R&R please, all good feedback is welcome, no flames please.**

**As always I only own my oc.**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 2

In Katarina's room she'd stopped drinking, so had Matt and they were talking about their let downs from the people who had hurt them.

''He once got all sweet and nervous, when he asked me to go out to this club with him...stupid bitch that I am- thought he was asking me out on a date.'' she wiped away a tear- ''I got my hair done, my nails done, bought this hot little dress and he even text me to confirm the time to come and pick me up.''

Matt could see that this mystery guy had really hurt her- ''What did he do?''

''I was waiting for that knock on the door, I was beyond nervous, because I'd loved him for so long. I was sick with nerves and...he just didn't show up...I felt stupid, I'd built it up in my head...trusted him. But, he never called, I swallowed my shred of pride and called him-huge shock- he just ignored the call.''

''That's just awful. What happened when you saw him?''

she sniffed- ''I saw him the next day and it was just awful, because he'd done it before and I knew his excuse was bullshit. I had to see him lie to my face and try to ignore the fact that he had teeth marks on his neck and friction burns on both of his wrists.''

''Oh my GOD!'' Matt's shock was combined with disgust- ''He was off screwing another girl!''

''A total WHORE!'' she corrected.

He nodded- ''Kat this guy is a total ass hole.''

''you know the really sad thing- he's got the ability to be the nicest guy you've ever met. But he's slowly vanishing, it's all because of the dumb choices his dick has made.''

Matt may have been tipsy, but he still managed to have on clear brain-wave, despite all the red wine in his system- ''Not to jump to crazy conclusions but... this guy, is it Edge?''

Kat wiped her eyes and just nodded- ''how pathetic am I?''

Matt pulled her under his arm and said- ''You're not. I'm the pathetic one my ex is getting married to literally the worst guy on the planet and instead of thinking- serves the cheating skank right- I cried like a little girl.''

She hugged him- ''You were together a long time, it was an emotional break-up. I'm not and never have been with Adam, I'm the friend who got too attached to her former trainer- cliché!''

''Don't beat yourself up about it, if he chose that slut over you, he needs his head looking at.''

She smiled- ''Well, thank you. If your ex chose some super creep over you she must be as dumb as a bag of rocks, you're a great guy.''

He squeezed her appreciatively- ''someone has to think so.''

When Matt had gone, she put the bottles in the bin and emptied that glasses down the sink, the smell of the reed wine had her running fort he toilet.

40 minutes later, her stomach was empty, her throat was sore and she was brushing her teeth, looking at herself in the mirror, wondering what all the fuss about her looks was about. She only really liked her eyes, everything else was just...ordinary. She had freckles, a straight but round tipped nose, she'd always thought it was too big for her small face, her lips weren't pouty and sexy, they were normal. She rinsed her tooth brush and began tying her hair up. She didn't look like the other Divas, they were so beautiful especially Kelly Kelly, Eve, the Bellas and Alicia Fox.

As she removed the smeary make up, she revealed her naked face and you could never be vain when you knew the reality of your face beneath the make up. Katarina had seen her face with acne in her early teens, she knew every flaw and scar, expression lines that she moisturised away.

Her eyes flooded with tears as she saw a hurt girl staring back all this Adam and Amy shit had to stop. No way was her life going to revolve around being hurt.

At 9am, the next day Katarina was only slightly hung over, as she got on the bus to the next city. She was in knee high bilker boots, black skinny jeans, an ancient AC/DC shirt, her freshly washed waves over her shoulders, mirrored aviator shades peeking out from under her bangs. She hauled her over sized bag to an open seat near the back of the bus.

She ignored Adam and Amy, making sure to sit away from them, she sat in front of Randy, who gave her a nod, she shot him a smile. Knowing that he didn't really talk to any of the other Divas, but Katarina. They'd occasionally done mixed tag matched together and made quite the team, they'd been dubbed- ''Kiss the RKO'' after both of their killer finishers.

Randy thought Katarina was a nice girl, the other Divas were no better than whores. When he'd seen her début against Trish 5 years ago, he'd been impressed, but then Trish's on-screen boyfriend had gone in to interfere, Randy had watched with the other guys at the monitor bank as Kat Black unleashed her now legendary move ''The Ladder'' for the very first time on all 7ft of Kevin Nash. Then gone up on the top rope hit another new move he'd never seen before and just pulled out Nate Black's 'Leg Breaker' pin on Trish to win.

Yes, Randy respected her a lot. The Divas at the time were shitting themselves.

Katarina put her bag down, pulled out her ipod, her phone and her new book and got settled in for the long bus ride. She saw Matt get on, looking very rough, she smirked as he headed up the back closer to her and took the seat in front of her. They exchanged a high 5 over the back of the seat-

''You ok?''

He shook his head then winced at the movement, she took some pain killers from her bag and handed them to the 5ft8 guy.

''you're an angel.''

''I keep my halo buffed and on stand-by.'' she winked.

''How are you not hung over? You drank 2 bottles of red wine.''

''2 pints of water and pain killers after I'd been very sick.''

Jay got on next, taking the seat across the isle from her, Zack Ryder took the seat in front of Jay, he smiled at her- ''You missed an awesome party, where did you go?''

''Had a few drinks with Matt at the hotel.''

Zack was so much fun, not as goofy as his character, but you couldn't help but have fun if you were with him.

''you're coming next time right?''

''Sure we can hit the dance floor.''

She knew not many of the guys hit the dance floor, for fear of You Tube humiliation, but Zack didn't care, he was up for dancing.

''Hell yeah Kat Woman. Woo-Woo-Woo.'' he fist pumped.

''You know it.'' she grinned, hitting his line back at him, making him laugh.

He was one of the very few who called her 'Kat Woman' her fans called her that on the arena signs they made.

Teddy Long got on behind Beth and Nattie, who were crashed out on the back seats with eye masks and ipods before the bus had gone a mile.

Katarina could hear bickering down towards the front and then saw a very annoyed Cody moving up the isle to sit with Randy. Kat had been friends with Cody a long time, way before they joined the company.

''Hey Coddles.'' she teased.

His big sky blue eyes narrowed at the use of the nickname- ''Don't call me that.'' he was fighting a smirk.

Everyone around them chuckled.

She smiled at him- ''Sorry Cody, so what's got you on the move?''

''John and Yoko down there.'' he replied dryly.

Everyone laughed.

''Trouble in paradise?'' she smirked taking some sick pleasure in that.

''I'd say so.'' Cody smirked too.

Katarina had known Cody since they were kids, their dad's had been friends back when it was still WWF. They'd met at 3 years old at a family party and as they'd grown up they'd get thrown together at family parties ever since and they'd come to the company very close together, only a few months apart, so they'd always had a bond.

She fiddled with her dad's old army dog tags and Hall of Fame ring on the chain around her neck, she missed him so much. He'd died when she was 15 so he'd never gotten to train her like they'd planned to when she reached 18. She could picture her dad- 6ft7 massive tattooed arms, long dark hair piercing green eyes. He'd been the WWF Champion when he'd died of a brain haemorrhage in their kitchen at just 50 years old. His title belt hung on her wall above her couch.

She was shaken from her thoughts by some loud bickering from John and Yoko, then he snapped-

''Jesus cut the jealousy Amy, it's fucking tedious!''

Then the 6ft4 beauty of Adam strode up the back with his bag and dropped into the seat beside Jay. She could feel her heart pick up it's pace. Jay shot her a look, she just shrugged. Matt peeped between the seat and rolled his eyes.

Adam heard her laugh and saw the pair were amused by something, God she was beautiful! A huge change from the hissing, crazed Amy, who hadn't stopped sniping at him since they'd gotten up. It'd come about when he'd told her he wasn't 'in the mood' when he woke up at 7:15am, she'd not only accused him of being unfaithful, but being bored of her too. He'd WISHED he was capable of rising to the occasion , because it'd have saved him so much shit, he'd gladly have taken one for the team if it saved yet another public scene. But, his head was all over the place, his guilt over being an adulterer, his guilt at accusing Jay of screwing Kat, his guilt at being a bad friend to Kat and hiding his feelings for her- so all of that had made getting it up impossible.

She could feel him looking at her, but she refused to meet those green eyes of his. She put in her ipod buds and cranked up Metallica, she took off her boots and curled her legs up and lay back against he window, not bothered that she was facing him.

Jay nudger him, getting his attention- ''Don't even think of messing with her today.'' he advised quietly.

Adam frowned- ''I'm not going to mess with her. I miss her Jay, I miss my friend.''

''you weren't so concerned about your friend when you were lying your ass off to her and standing her up. No you got into the draws of the bitch who tried to destroy her reputation when she first got signed.''

Jay saw the innocent confusion on Adams face at his words, at times Adam looked like that 15 year old kid again, the one that was bewildered by life- ''what?''

''Your little 'Love Puppet'' red head tried to make everyone think Kat was a whore when she first got to Smackdown. It's just a good thing nobody believed her. So ask yourself why Kat hate her.''

He leaned his head back against the head rest and said- ''sorry about that call last night.''

Jay arched his brows- ''You should be. I don't know how you could even ask that.''

''I know, I know, but I saw her wearing only a shirt, in your arms at 11pm, outside her room. I jumped to the wrong conclusion.'' he whispered.

''Damn straight you did.'' Jay nodded- ''If you'd looked properly, you'd have seen she had shorts on too, it's not like she was going commando.''

''Don't say shit like that! Any guy who tries anything like that- I'll murder them, even I they just think it!''

Jay rolled his blue eyes- ''we won't have much of a roster left then.''

''What!'' he growled, alerting everyone around them.

He rolled his eyes again at Adam- ''Subtle Copeland, really.''

''What do you mean?'' he inquired a lot quieter.

''Open your eyes dumb ass, she's not here just fro you to drool over. Don't you dare pretend you don't. Hell half the WWE guys want to date her and one day soon, she's going to take on of them up on it and there's not a damn thing you can do about it, so don't even try!''

Adam's face tensed up in rage- ''No, no way, over my dead body!''

''The way she's feeing at the minute, you might not want to make statements like that.''

''None of these guys are dating her!''

''26 years old Adam.'' Jay reminded him.

''Fuck that!'' he hissed- ''They're not right for her and not even close to being good enough for her.''

Jay cocked a brow at his friend- ''And who is? You maybe?''

Wondering if that look of jealousy last night in the corridor had been real or just in his head. Jay saw Adam tense up and get a bit red in the face. Shock hit Jay, he had been right!

''Jesus you've got to be fucking kidding me! What the hell are you thinking?''

Adam narrowed his eyes- ''It's not like it was a well thought out plan Jason! Do you know how weird it was falling for her? For fucks sake I was already 30!''

''30!'' he hissed doing the math- ''She'd only have been 18!''

''I had to find out that that little boyfriend of hers had taken her virginity, it killed me!''

Jay was in shock and wanted to hit his best friend- ''Did you have that job in mind for yourself too?''

''Yes.'' he replied gently- ''When she was completely ready, sober and had a career.''

Jay saw the emotion, he was deadly serious, then Adam said- ''Do you think for one second that it was her dream to do it for the first time at a party on grad night? Hell no, she deserved the perfect night. The night neither of us had. Remember what yours was like.''

Jay shuddered- ''Under the bleachers after a game. Yours wasn't much better.''

''Gym storeroom on the blue mats- worse than yours. I wanted her to be treat like aprincess, I wanted to give her that.''

''how the hell have you hidden this for 8 years? Yeah, you flirted with her a lot, but …..''

Adam shrugged.

Jay didn't think Kat was in any state to know any of this, she was destroyed by his whole affair, she deserved to have time to get over it.

''She's too pissed to know about this.''

''I know, I'll settle for just being her friend again, I need to make it right with her.''

''Don't force this.''

Cody sat with his ipod on, watching Katarina through the gap in the seat, he had such a crush on her, he'd danced around asking her out several times and bottled it, because Adam and Jay had that protective big brother thing going on. On TV he was cocky, vain and more than slightly disturbed but that wasn't him at all. Cody knew that he was a nerd, he loved comic books, sci-fi, he sometimes tended to be socially awkward when he was out of character around new people, he didn't fit in with all the chick magnets like- Edge, Randy, Dolph and Barrett.

He'd heard all the speculations about Kat and Adam, that he was her secret boyfriend, it wasn't helped by Copeland flirting with her at every opportunity. The Amy thing had cleared all that up now. But the new rumour was that they'd stopped being close because he'd cheated on her with Amy. But gossip was rarely right.

He liked her, she went comic book shopping with him, they'd gone to Comic-Con together, they had a wicked tournament on Soul Calibre going and unknown to anyone they had been each others first kiss at 14.

It'd happened in her bedroom, one summer and they'd been just hanging out, listening to music, when they'd locked eyes and it had just happened. It'd been the most amazing experience , he'd been so shy and nervous, but she had been too. Once they'd relaxed into it, it'd gotten very heated, she was straddling his lap. It hadn't gotten any further because her mom Joy had caught them and they'd been utterly mortified.

He looked at her again and her green eyes slid to him, he gulped embarrassed at being caught, but she smiled at him, a gesture he readily returned.

Katarina couldn't help but be impressed at how Cody Runnels had grown up. He'd gone from lanky with weirdly long arms to a knock out with a body to die for. He still had the most breath-taking blue eyes with long thick dark lashes. His smile had provoked many a dirty thought in her head over the years. He'd been single for awhile now since a certain French Diva had taken him for a ride,, using him for all the publicity she could get.

Yes, she found him very attractive, who wouldn't? But, their families were close friends, so that added a stack of complications if she wanted to date him.

She loved hid nerdy side. Only she knew that his wrestling boots had the ''Triforce'' symbol from The Legend of Zelda game on them, how cute was that?

She felt her phone vibrate, removing her buds she took the call.

''Hi mom.''

''Hey sweetie, how you doing?''

The note of concern in her voice made it clear what she was asking Kat about- ''I'm..fine, no change. How's home?''

''Business is great,'' she replied cheerily- ''How's the boys?''

The 'boys' were- Jay, Cody, Matt and Adam if he wasn't in the process of breaking her daughters heart.

''the boys are good.''

they all suddenly called- ''Hey Joy!''

Joy laughed- ''Good boys! Saw that little skank Mina, talkin' all kinds of shit!''

Mina was one of Adams many bitter ex flames.

''Tell me what you did to her.'' she giggled nervously.

''I didn't hit her. I did bar her from the restaurant. She was mouthing off about you being pregnant by Adam.''

''Fucking bitch!'' Kat gasped- ''Now I wish you had hit her!''

She heard smothered laughter all around her- ''Mom rest assured I'm 100% not pregnant. Especially not by that man-whore.'' she ignored the amount of attention that those words got her.

''Just be safe. I've always told you- if you can't be good, just be safe.''

''Mom, I'm 26, I don't need a safe sex lecture.'' she giggled.

Hearing several sniggers.

''I know baby, you're a smart girl, but drunken heat of the moment crazy shit happens.''

''Rest assured I have all of my bases covered.''

''Ok, I saw the show last night, that was disgusting! You were incredible as always. But did you see them?''

''Oh yes I saw it and... well it's done.''

''She's such a fucking whore! He won't stay with her. No guy takes the tow truck home when they want a Porche on the drive. Judy hates her.''

''You spoke to her? When?''

''During the show, she called him up after it aired and told him off, saying that she loved him, but he was a wrestler, not Ron Jeremy.''

Kat burst out laughing- ''one question- how does she know who that guy is?''

''Hmm makes you wonder, doesn't it.'' joy teased playfully- ''How's Coddles?''

''still really hot.'' Kat grinned- ''Ass you can bounce a penny off of.''

That earned her several amused and inquisitive looks, which she grinned wider at.

Her mom nearly choked- ''Down girl, you gonna ask him out?''

''Maybe.'' she played coy- ''If he's any kind of gentleman he'll ask me first.''

''He's shy under that on screen act.''

''I know, but he's got no reason to be, lets face it he's insanely hot and nice too, he's practically perfect. Knowing my luck he'll be either secretly dating or gay.''

Adam was in hell, she was talking about a guy she wanted to date and he was hoping the guy turned out to be gay!

Joy said- ''Glad he's gotten rid of that mask, he's such a handsome young man, good to see his face.''

''Jesus mom, you're sounding very cougar-esque.'' Kat teased.

''Sorry honey but I'm not blind.''

''point taken.''

''I'll let you get away, take care and promise to give the 'Dashing' one a chance if the opportunity arises- no pun intended.''

When they had ended the call, she found Matt grinning at her over the back of his seat-

''Kat's got a crush.'' he teased in s sing-song way.

''Shut it Korklan.'' she laughed, feeling her cheeks pinken.

She looked over the isle and locked eyes with Adam, her heart lurched. Knowing that she was good enough to flirt with, but not good enough to date, yet Amy was- what kind of bullshit was that?

Seeing his beautiful face looking at her, made her miss the days when they'd have those deep talks, curled up on a bed in each others arms. It was the way he understood her, no judgement on his side when she talked. She missed his smile, his sense of humour, his almost child-like innocent way of seeing some things. Hell the way he used to look at her when they were at rock gigs singing in each others arms.

She knew the smile she dealt him was a sad one, but it was all she had to give right then.

That smile broke his heart a little more, he saw the let-down in her eyes, he'd put that there and a whole load of emotions he'd never be able to decipher. He needed to be forgiven, he needed her back in his life in any way he could get her.

She saw that cute smile grace his lips, it made her melt a little, he had such a firm hold on her, it made her weakly smile back. To her surprise he got up and sat beside her, she could smell his Versace cologne- God he always smelled great!

She waited fro him to speak, but he just sat there exploring her face with his eyes, it was as intimate as being physically touched by him. She kept her legs curled up, her head resting on the back of her seat, facing him, waiting.

''I..I've been a really bad friend to you.''

She nodded- ''you bailed on me time and time again. You lied to me about why you were doing it too.''

He wished they were in private, but they had no chance of talking when they got to the next hotel, because Amy would be watching him like a hawk. He'd probably get a screaming lecture about this very talk with Kat, not that he cared, Kat was worth the agro.

''I was a selfish prick and I miss my friend...I miss having you be there for me.''

Moving her bangs from her eyes she sighed- ''I can't be your consolation prize when your girl is being a bitch to you. You don't get it.''

''Please.'' he begged- ''You're not my consolation prize.''

''Then why does it feel that way? You don't get me as a friend when you treat me like I'm disposable, you threw me away in favour of your affair. I just hope she's worth it.''

She dashed tears away, keeping quiet was hard, because this man made her hurt.

''No baby, don't cry,'' he begged, cupping her cheek, moving closer to her, wanting to pull her to his chest and hold her, like so many times in the past where they'd lay together, when she'd twine her fingers in his hair. But this time she was pushing his hand away from her and said to him-

''You break my heart.''

Randy and Cody were mad as hell at Copeland for doing this on the bus and not somewhere private. To Randy Orton's shock Cody used his quick reflexes he utilized in the ring and pounced from his seat and hauled Adam from the seat and said- ''Leave her the hell alone,go sit with your whore!''

Everyone was shocked at Cody and deeply amused.

Cody saw Amy's rage- ''Shut your mouth before you even start!'' he pointed at Amy.

Everyone watched as the young Intercontinental Champion thrust Adams bag at him and with his eyes dared Adam to challenge him.

Jay lay a hand on a very angry Adams arm- ''Leave it for another time ad.''

Taking the advise given he stalked away in the huff.

Kat was impressed, not just that 6ft2 of Cody had hauled up Adams huge body but chased him off too. Cody's big blues found her gaze and he gave her a soft smile as he sat down gently placing his hand on her knee, which she liked - ''You all right?''

She held his hand and nodded- ''Yes, it's awkward talking to him still, but thank you for helping me- Cody the bad ass.''

He laughed- ''Well, look how long we've known each other, I'm not going to let some guy up set you.''

She smiled, nice guy, caring, so handsome, incredible body, great ass, amazing smile, flawless skin, cute up-turned nose and those eyes, she could get lost in them- ''Well, it's appreciated.''

He nodded, giving her hand a gentle squeeze and went back to his seat.

Jay watched the pair curiously and saw the chemistry, he picked up his phone and shot a text to Katarina.

She opened a text from Jay- ''Kitty Kat something going on u 2 wanna tell me?''

She fired back- ''Nothing goin on JJ.''

He grinned and sent- ''Yet! but u like him.''

She smiled and sent- ''Yep he was my 1st kiss at 14.''

Jay was catching flies with his wide open mouth across the isle and she nodded smirking.

He sent- ''Go 4 it, show Ads u r not lettin him interfere in ur private lif.''

She liked his support and smiled while typing- ''Maybe, give me time.''

Jay winked at her, glad that she was thinking about dating again, even if it was still in the early stages. It was all progress.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you for the reviews and alerts it's appreciated so much, let me know these chapters are getting read. Glad my lovely reviewer is in Cody's corner with me ;) but in this chapter Adam is about to lay the ground work for his BIGGEST screw up yet...I wonder who might benefit from that? Maybe a certain Dashing fox! **

**As always I only own my oc.**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 3

They got to the next city and all checked into the hotel and as it was Saturday they were hitting the clubs that night. Kat was glad that she was never given a room mate, so she could freely walk around naked after her shower and not freak anyone out. She loved dancing and with Zack in their midst it was a guaranteed to happen, the girls were always up for partying with the Long Island Iced Z.

She picked out a dress she'd never had the guts to wear, it was short,black, strappy, fitted in the body, f laired skirt with dark red Japanese blossoms embroidered from under the bust down to the hip on one side. She teamed it with killer black heels that bumped her height up to 5ft10, making her slightly more Amazonian in height that the other Divas.

Long locks were in natural waves looking healthy and touchable. She knew Amy was coming too and dragging Adam with her so this was going to be Kat's big- ''Look at what you're missing out on!'' night.

She hadn't gone all-out like this in a long time, she was plucked, buffed, lotioned, shaved, styled and groomed and even she had to admit that she'd done a good job. Her make up was painstakingly applied around her almond shaped eyes, with only a sheen of tinted balm to her lips.

At 9:30pm Beth and Nattie picked her up from her room and were stunned, she looked incredible, clearly this meant war.

Nattie chuckled- ''Damn honey you got a hot date we don't know about?''

''This-'' she indicated the dress- ''Is for 2 reasons, 1: to show that blonde God what he's missing and 2:to see if it'll get me a date with someone else.''

''WHO!'' they squealed.

''You'll just have to wait and see.'' she teased.

In the lobby the guys- Zack, Jay, Matt, Cody, Randy, Adam and the whore of Smackdown were waiting for the Divas of Doom to join them.

When those elevator doors opened, jaws dropped Kat looked like she belonged on the cover of Vogue. Adam looked ready to have a heart attack! Beth and Nattie loved seeing her get just the reaction she truly deserved, this girl needed her confidence restoring in a big way.

Amy saw the way they all reacted to the brunette and as much as it killed her to admit it to herself the little bitch was one good looking girl. Seeing Adams reaction, made her die inside, he knew that look in his eyes- the bastard was in love! He'd never once given her that look, how the hell did you compete? How do you compete with love?

As everyone made their way to the 2 chauffeur driven cars, she pulled on Adams arm and saw his frustrated look-

''What now?''

She cringed at his tone- ''Why are we still doing this?''

He sighed impatiently- ''I don't know, maybe to have some fun for once.''

''No, not clubbing, I mean _us, _why did you bother when you love someone else?''

He closed his eyes running his long fingers through his hair- two people in one day, clearly he was losing his touch at hiding his feelings.

Amy closed her eyes, anger, hurt, rage boiling beneath the surface- ''You don't have to say anything, silence is just as telling...I'm going back inside...I won't be in the room when you come back.''

In the first car the 3 girls and Matt were all strapped in and the guys were in the other car. From the front passenger seat, Matt nearly gave himself whip-lash while relaying the information he'd just gotten in a text from Zack- ''Holy shit- Ad and Amy have split!''

''Bullshit!'' Beth yelled in shock.

Matt passed his phone to the girls, Katarina rolled her eyes.- ''Knew it wouldn't last!''

''Well, it's official you won.'' Nattie winked.

''It wasn't a competition, I wasn't even in the running.''

''The was he was eye-fucking you 2 minutes ago, I'd say it was a one horse race.'' Nattie nodded.

Kat waved her hands- ''No more Copeland talk, this is about having fun.''

''And a new crush.'' Beth teased, seeing Kat break out into a grin and a cute blush.

When they got to the club, Adam set up a bar tab and handed over his credit card. The girls followed Zack to the bar, he insisted on buying them/ charging Adam with the girls very first long Island Iced teas from the Long Island Iced Z.

The glasses were huge and when they got behind the velvet rope of the VIP area and to their tables, Beth and Nattie nearly choked on the drink it was so strong-

''Jesus Christ! I'll never be able to stand after that beast!'' Nattie shuddered.

Kat saw everyone wait for her to take a drink, so refusing to be a light weight, she drew on the black straw and despite it's strength, she could take it and nodded-

''Not bad at all.''

Zack laughed- ''Atta-girl!''

Kat could see Adam smiling at her, he leaned forward and asked- ''Is it as strong as the 'A-Bomb'?''

she recalled her 21st birthday, not long after joining the company, they'd hired out a club and Adam had hijacked the bar to make her a personalised cocktail, it was bright green and contained her favourite fruits in liquor from-

3 shots of 'Midori' melon liquor.

4 shots of apple 'Sourz'

2 shots of lemon 'Sourz'

3 shots of vodka

Topped up with lemonade in a huge glass over ice.

It was great but VERY strong.

She ventured a smirk- ''The A-Bomb's crown isn't under threat just yet.

Seeing her smirk, made his night, he looked gorgeous, he just wanted to reach out and touch her.

He was about to ask something when Zack took her hand and lead her and the 2 other Divas to the dance floor as ''pump it'' by the Black Eyed Peas came on. He had the girls fist pumping every time the song title was sang. They were having fun.

Kat had no clue that any guys on he dance floor were looking at her a she shook her booty. Zack got her, then Nattie and spun them, then he got Beth in a very hot salsa grind, making the 2 other girls cheer them on. Who knew the Long Islander had moves like that?

Adam saw the guys all over the club undressing her with their eyes, he wanted to kick some ass, but if they were ever going to get on better terms again, he'd have to reign in the possessive jerk he knew he could be.

When N.E.R.D- ''She Wants To Move'' came on, the girls were utter teases , they knew just how to work it. But Katarina could shake it like Beyonce! Kat knew Mr Copeland was drooling her girls had told her- ''Oh sweet justice!''

When they got back to the table, she knew Cody was smiling at her and she gave him a huge genuine smile, he looked so good, in a simple white shirt, dark jeans that fit like a dream, he was just going to be hard to resist...but did she even want to try resisting?

Before she could go any further down that route, one of the waitresses came over and in front of the whole party said to Kat- ''that guy over there, asked me to give you this.''

Kat took the business card and had to read it 3 times to make her brain truly take in what she was reading- ''Jack Nelson- Head of music press- Classic Rock Magazine USA- NYC''

Followed by several phone numbers and e-mails.

She knew that the city of New York would be interesting, but this was unreal! The last time she'd seen him was at 20 years old when they'd both been home for Christmas.

Jay and Adam looked over the card, jay laughed, Adam was just pissed- ''What the HELL!''

She cocked a brow at his perfect reaction and said- ''it's not going to hurt to talk to him.''

she plucked the card from his fingers, slipped it into her purse, got he drink and headed over.

Nattie and Beth were intrigued- ''Who's the hot guy?''

Jay grinned- ''Kat's first boyfriend Jack and he was the BIG first time too.''

The girls saw Kat and Jack hug- ''He's really hot!'' Beth giggled.

Adams old urge to kill Jack was back with vengeance.

Katie liked inflicting some of her own pain, just because Amy had currently vacated the Copeland bed, it didn't mean all was forgiven- not even close!

Everyone in their party saw the Canadians rage. But Cody saw beyond that, to see that there was love there too, and it stung because it wasn't one sided, but Cody wasn't a quitter, that guy wasn't worthy of Katarina Blackmore!

Adam stalked off to the bar and necked 3 shots of tequila, before ordering a Bud.

''Clearly Copeland still hates my guts.'' Jack smiled.

She nodded- ''Don't mind him he's got personal problems.''

''I'm not afraid of him, I just kinda figured you two would be married by now.''

''What!''

''Well,you are always pictured together.''

''friends, even that's not set in stone right now.''

''Friends don't have jealousy seeping from their pores like he does, you might want to check on that when your shock dies down.''

when she went back to the table after a farewell, she saw the man in question drop into the seat beside her, rolling her eyes at his expression- ''Wipe that look off your face.''

''that creep was hitting on you!''

''No he wasn't!'' she laughed- ''Do you really think I don't know when a guy is hitting on me?''

''Kat, you'd be the last one to know.'' he'd hit on her for years, he knew what he was talking about.

''Well, he wasn't, he's married with a baby on the way.''

''Perfect excuse- the false sense of security tactic! 5 minutes later he'd have been feeling you up!''

''Well, it's been so long since I've been felt up- I might have liked it!'' she snapped.

He had no idea what to say and he didn't get a chance to because she got up and headed to the bar, not giving up he went after her.

The entire group had become fascinated by the show that the pair were putting on. Jay knew something was going to kick off between them, the tension was insane.

At the bar she turned and collided with Adams huge chest- ''So you'd let a married guy feel you up!''

Several people at the bar turned and laughed, cringing she scowled at him and dragged him into an empty booth just down from their table-

''I'm just annoyed... not only because you're daring to preach to me about relationships and sexual conduct, you split up an engaged couple you hypocrite! Also I NEVER get asked out! I get it- I'm not as hot as Kelly Kelly or my girls over there.'' she felt those damn tears coming- ''But, I'm sick of...missing out on so much!''

His heart ached, how didn't she know she was gorgeous? Kat was his perfect angel! He moved closer and she let him hold her- ''Kat, you're so beautiful it kills me.''

She didn't know if she'd heard him correctly, she just hoped that she did, having him close, in that moment she could pretend that past 14 weeks hadn't happened, that he wasn't just her friend again, but that he was hers.

''you're perfect.''he said clearly- ''Even at your job you are too.''

''I had some pretty good trainers.'' she giggled.

Feeling her laughter he said in her ear- ''You're not missing out, I wear.''

''you wouldn't be saying that if you were me.''

''Why?''

''Because I can't get who I want.''

That was like a slap bringing him back to his senses- ''What? Who?''

Kat shook her head, wait- did he look up-set? ''It's insane, the age gap alone should tell me that!''

''Age gap?'' he frowned getting mad- ''something tells me I've got to go kick some old creeps ass!''

''He's not old! Ok he has his 'creep' moments, but they are endearing.''

''Endearing? Just give me a name.''

''NO.''

''Why can't you have him?''

''I've known him a long time, but I think that he sees me lore like a...sister.''

His head fell into his hands, long hair hiding his features- ''Oh my God, I knew this would happen. I knew I wasn't nuts!''

She felt sheer panic- HE KNEW!

He carried on talking- ''12 years is a big age gap Kat.''

she felt rejection hit her like a cold palm to the face, she couldn't even cry this was too new.

''It can't happen.'' he said gently, his eyes saw the hurt in hers- ''I'm sorry you're hurting baby, but Jay isn't the guy for you.''

''I know I..wait-Jay? What's Jay got to do with this?''

Adam frowned- ''You love him.''

Kat shook her head- ''As a friend.''

''Then who the hell are we talking about?''

she shook her head again, trust his to get the wrong end of the stick over something this big-

''Adam you scare me at times.''

''Why?''

she stood up and without really thinking said loudly- ''Because I love you, you fucking idiot!''

Slapping a hand over her mouth as if it'd take back anything she'd just said, knowing their party 10 feet away had heard too, she turned on her heel, bag in hand and fled, not sticking around for rejection, not in public.

In the cab all she could think was- 'what will Cody think of me now?'

then she cringed- this was going to be all over the locker room in no time. GREAT!

Once she was in her room, she ignored calls from her friends and put her tank top and shorts, a loud knock on the door made her jump a mile. She tip-toed to the door and checked the spy-hole, ADAM!

''Open up Kat, we have to talk.''

''No I'm too sober for it!''

''Sorry I'm not leaving, if you don't open up, the while floor is going to hear it.''

''No.''

''Don't make me sing to you.'' he threatened.

She stifled a laugh.

''Ok now you're asking for it.'' he chuckled clearing his throat- '' '_I've never, I've never seen you look so good, you never act the way you should, but I like it-''_

He heard her laugh and the door popped open, there she stood, in black surrounded by all those waves of hair- ''I can't believe you wailed Poison- ''Talk Dirty To Me' I should call security.''

But the smirk fell from her lips, it was like a switch had been flicked and he had to be quick or that door would slam shut- ''Lets talk.''

In they went, sat on opposite ends of the couch, she was waiting for the rejection-bomb to go off.

He could see she was uncomfortable, so he took the bull by the horns- ''Why won't you look at me?''

Her head fell into her hands, making her waves and curls bounce adorably-

''because I'm a fucking idiot maybe.''

''No you're not.'' he said quickly, siding along the couch, so he was right beside her- ''Listen Kat- what you said back there- we need to talk about that.''

''No we don't. I don't need you to tell me that I'm not seen that way. Or that you still love Amy. Save it, I get it!''

She couldn't lift her head, he was beside her, she could smell that intoxicating cologne of his. Feel his body heat too. It was killing her.

''What? I don't love Amy.'' he chuckled.

Oh great he was laughing at her1 Nice to know that this was amusing for at least one of them. While the other had an emotional break down on the couch.

So, he didn't love Amy? Good to know! HEARTBREAKER!

''Kat listen up- you can hear me under that pile of curls right?''

She shot him the finger not moving any other part of her body.

He laughed- ''That's something- anyway just so you know- I'm not used to this kind of thing- love. Nobody has ever told me they love me apart from my mom.''

she finally looked at him- ''Surely girls you've dated have told you they love you.''

''No, none of them.''

Were girls stupid? The man was perfection! If you ignored the affair.

''I had no idea how you felt, you hid that very well.'' he said.

''To avoid situations like this one.''

He harnessed all of his courage before it was too late and it up and left him- ''I fell for you at 18 I was already 30. It scared me.''

''What?''

He nodded- ''You were this perfect innocent girl. Then I find out you've got this boyfriend, I hated him, he had who I wanted.''

This was actually happening? Was he really saying this stuff to her? She was speechless.

He continued- ''I made a deal with myself that if I still felt this way when you git to 20, I'd tell you.''

''What changed your mind?'' she asked softly, barely able to speak.

''You graduated and slept with that prick.'' he grumbled.

She cringed recalling their unpleasant exchange at the ring side the next day.

''You weren't supposed to do it with him..''

Kat didn't know where he was going with this- ''I wasn't?''

An innocent-hurt look came over his features, he shook his head- ''No, it was supposed to be with me when you were 20 and in love-'' he paused- ''with me.''

It was a very sweet notion- ''That's quite a plan you had.''

''I wanted you to be old enough to be sure you were ready. 18 at a party isn't exactly special.''

She frowned- ''You might not want to hear this but that's not what it was like.''

''Huh?''

''We went to the party, then up to his parents cabin by the lake. There was a log fire, candle light, silk sheets, the whole deal. It's not the drunken pile of coats on a bed, horror story you cooked up in your head.''

He moved closer and stroked her cheek- ''I love you, I've fucked up a lot but I need you to trust me.''

Katarina took his big hand in hers and said in a rush of nerves- ''Ok I'll trust you.''

A smile crept across his beautiful face, he moved closer he had to kiss her.

Kat waited for him to kiss her and knew that she'd waited so long for this- FINALLY!

When his gorgeous lips met hers they weren't rough or demanding, he was gentle with her. She lay her palms on his solid strong shoulders. Then they relaxed into it, his arms circled her waist and her fingers caressed him neck, making him moan into the kiss. She was the one to deepen the kiss and he let her take the lead for a while then he took over once again.

Adam leaned over her, her back was against the arm of the sofa and she didn't protest. This girl-HIS girl was the bets kisser in the world, he was secure enough to admit that she was better at it that he was. His whole body was in fire for hers.

The minx in Kat came out and she wrapped her legs around him drawing him flush with her body.

Adam nearly had a heart attack when she did that, they were locked around him, so he was in the cradle of her hips, it was the hottest thing he'd ever done fully clothed. It also showed him how much smaller than him she was. So petite, but still so strong and powerful.

He was painfully aroused, there was no hiding it in their position. He growled when her teeth gently tugged his lower lip gently, she ran her tongue over it, then sucked it playfully before claiming his lips again. Jesus this girl was going to be the death of him. What a way to go!

Kat could feel how hard he was and how big he was too and she didn't need to even touch him- fuck their first time together was going to be interesting if he was THAT big!

As they kissed she got distracted by her crazy neurosis, a nagging voice said- 'He was probably fucking Amy only a few hours ago.' Apprehension was creeping in now.

Then she felt his hands on the bare skin of her stomach and realised what he was doing- he was untying her shorts! Holy shit- he thought he was getting laid!

Pulling her lips away, she felt his lips work their way down her neck, she caught his hands before they could slide down into her underwear! She unlinked her legs from around him- ''Adam?'' she said- ''Adam? Stop!''

He was so caught up in kissing her silky soft skin and wanting to make love to her, he was surprised to hear her say- 'Adam-stop.' It really frustrated him- ''Why?'' he whined, a frown on his face.

Kat gasped- ''I'm not having sex with you!''

He was instantly offended- ''Well sorry if the idea of sex with me disgusts you!''

She shoved him away- ''Oh I'm sorry for not being an easy whore like Amy1 Forgive me!''

Adam knew he was fucking this up, but he was embarrassed by his own assumption and when he got like that he his behind meanness.

''You're a fucking tease!'' he pointed a finger right in her face- ''No wonder you've been single forever! You're a fucking COCK TEASE!''

Seeing red she slapped him hard in the face, hurt tears stinging her eyes- ''Get out! You fucking prick!'' she got up and stormed into the bedroom slamming the door.

His face hurt like a bitch, she was a strong girl and clearly she'd put everything behind it, but it'd made him see what he'd done. Fuck! Had he really been trying to pressure her into sex? Pretty much. He got up silently and left, feeling like the scum of the universe. Fuck- he'd called her a 'cock tease' that was genuinely disgusting!

Kat's hand tingled, he'd probably have a bruise after that. Good! Arrogant bastard! How could he expect that from her? Yes, she loved him, but guys in love don't act like that. Her stomach dropped- he was probably lying about the love stuff to get into her pants! She was one of the very few he hadn't nailed. Adam's morals were hardly squeaky clean, he'd screwed over Matt Hardy and stolen his future wife.

Calling her a 'cock tease' was the final straw. That was it, she needed to end this once and or all, he was toxic and nobody had the right to talk to a woman like that for having the guts to say 'no'

It was time to live, not that half-life she'd been coasting through, but one where she actually had fun and...dated.

**AN: Do you hate him yet? Bring on the knight in ''dashing'' armour! **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: thank you to everyone who has posted a review it means so much to me and reviews keep this story going and me inspired. Oh and Adam isn't getting off so lightly ;) I had a two versions of this next chapter written up and I chose this one because this is basically how I personally would have dealt with Adam and Amy.**

**R&R**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 4

The next day at breakfast, Adam had a black eye that even careful hair placement couldn't hide, Katarina was sat with Beth and Nattie as far away from him as the dining room would allow. The gang that had been at the club had no idea what to think.

Nattie asked quietly- ''Did you give him the shiner?''

Kat nodded, nibbling at her English muffin- ''He deserved it, hell he deserved worse. You don't lie about loving someone just to get them in the sack!'' she hissed.

Beth gasped, making her choke on her coffee, after coughing furiously into her napkin, with Mattie patting her back, she raised her head eyes streaming- ''Are you serious?''

Kat nodded, wiping the choke induced tears from Beth's cheeks with her own napkin- ''He became a total dick when I told him that we weren't having sex. Called me a cock tease and that it was no wonder I'd been single forever. That's practically a direct quote too.''

The two blondes at the table were in stunned fury- ''fucking prick!'' Nattie seethed digging her nails into the apple she was holding.

Kat kept an eye on the fruit in case the feisty blonde threw it at him and landed herself in jail.

Beth patted Kat's arm- ''Well, you did us proud, that black eye is pretty bad.'' she was proud of the young Diva.

''I should have punched him, broken his pretty boy face! Hopefully he'll run back to Amy and leave me alone, they deserve each other!''

Kat spotted Cody wit his ipod buds in, his nose buried in a well thumbed copy of Iron Man. She liked the way he proudly flew his nerd flag, she stopped staring before anyone noticed.

Thanks to Jay, Beth,Nattie and Matt, what she'd shouted in the club had been passed off as a drunken misunderstanding. They'd said that she'd meant the 'love' as a platonic thing, so far that lie was going down well.

Katarina threw herself into work, her performances at the house shows were incredible and it caught the eye of Teddy Long. He could see the young Diva was destined for great things. So, his mind got ticking over with ideas. She avoided a certain blonde guy and a red headed female and oddly they hadn't reunited.

By Thursday Kat was feeling a lot like her old self again. That day Teddy had his scheduled appointment with Kat and they talked about putting her in a new mixed tag team, like her days with Randy Orton.

Teddy said, sat behind his desk in a very snazzy suit- ''Well, I've got someone in mind, I've spoken to him and he liked the idea.''

She smiled, it was always good to find out that people wanted to work with you- ''who is it?''

Teddy smiled and headed to the door and beckoned some one to come in- ''Come on it playa.''

Kat held her breath, hoping Teddy wasn't going to steer her wrong, he never had in the past. Her face lit up when she saw who it was- CODY!

Cody had been so glad when the GM had approached him about the story line and tag partnership with her. When he entered the office and saw her smiling at him and he knew that this was going to be good.

Kat got up and hugged Cody, she was happy and he hugged her back and smiled down at her. They got seated and teddy smiled- ''No objections then?''

They both shook their heads smiles fixed.

''Great stuff.'' Teddy looked at Cody- ''So playa, you'll be accompanying Kat to the ring, Kat you'll do the same for Cody. A simple romance story, nothing heavy, got a lot of heat over the Edge and Lita thing.''

Kat cringed at the mention of the seedy pair and then she felt Cody's hand hold hers, it was a warm, reassuring gesture that she needed. She gently squeezed his hand back, letting him know that it was fully appreciated.

''So.'' Teddy smiled- ''Tomorrow on Smackdown, we're gonna reveal your team-up, at your match Cody against Justin Gabriel.''

Cody nodded- ''Sounds good.''

Teddy looked at Kat- ''We'll put together team colours and new out fits just give your ideas to the designers, you two can pick your team name and entrance music too.''

Kat smiled at Cody- ''Guess we've got work to do.''

They left the office and went to the dressing room they were now sharing. She was still a 'Diva of Doom' but this was a big step for a diva to take, an on-going team up with a Superstar was rare these days, so this would hopefully open the doors for true the Divas come back to go one step further.

They sat on the black couch and he smiled at her- ''When Teddy Long made me the offer, I didn't think you'd go for it.''

''You didn't?''

''No, not at all. I figured you'd want to team up with Randy or Jay.''

''They're both incredible, but Randy has that 'Lone Wolf' thing going on with his character and Jay, well he comes with a side-kick, that I'd like to avoid dealing with.''

Cody needed to ask- ''What happened between you two? If you don't mind me asking.''

''I was handed some pretty damning evidence that I need to let go of the past.''

''so you love him?'' he felt sad just asking that question.

''Yes, at one time he was all I wanted, but...not now, I need to put an end to that. When a guy tells you he loves you, then gets mad that you won't screw him, it opens your eyes.''

Cody bit back the urge to kill the guy- ''Hence the black eye?''

''Hence.'' she winked.

''Sorry he did that to you, guess he really does have the morals of an alley cat.

Kat saw how pissed Cody was, to be honest it looked really sexy! The way his protective male instincts were flaring to life made her see a side of him she'd rarely seen outside the ring. But she couldn't risk him assaulting anyone, no matter how hot it got her. She held his hand lacing her fingers through his, nearly groaning at the pleasure of touching him once again, making eye contact with those amazing blues of his-

''calm down, it's ok. Like I said, I'm going to move on with my life, he'll be lucky to even get me as a friend. My first step will be focusing on work.''

Cody got a brain wave- ''Let me take you out to lunch, it can be a working one, so we don't look like we're just bailing.''

She giggled- ''Lead the way Mr Runnels.''

They ended up at a family run Chinese restaurant, going over team colours.

''so,'' he smiled- ''We agree black and silver. Matte not shiny.''

''Yes.''she agreed- ''It's classic, not garish. We don't want to shiny and garish. Personally Justin Gabriel's micro trunks are terrifying.''

Cody laughed into his napkin as he swallowed- ''Try sharing a locker room with him as he pours himself into them, then you'll learn about terror.''

''Oh my God, horrible mental image!'' she shuddered.

''What about our team name?'' he smiled.

Kat thought he was so beautiful, ok you could rarely call men that but in his case it was completely justified, those big blue eyes, they were kind of innocent, but so intelligent. When it came to work

he was the most focused, driven person she knew. He was sweet, but he could be tough, clearly very protective too. He was a marvellous mix of so much.

''Let's be cocky, we are heels after-all.'' she smirked- ''We could be the 'Dashing Duo.'''

His face lit up- ''Yes!Love it!''

Song-wise they went with an older song- Alice In Chains- ''Would.''

On his iphone Cody gave Teddy all the details and Teddy set them up with a meeting with the wardrobe designer.

He couldn't keep his eyes off her over lunch, he just really liked her, there was no agenda to her, unlike other girls he'd met since joining the WWE, who were only after him for either the money or fame. Katarina wasn't the type, she was like him- looking for something real and he truly hoped that this story line would let her see him as a potential boyfriend.

When they got to the arena they had their meeting with the designer Nessa, she drew up their rough ideas on her ipad. Cody would have his trunks and his iconic sleeveless hoodie and his boots. Kat would have her usual tights, crop top and knee boots.

Nessa designed the 'Dashing Duo' logo, for his trunks and for across the shoulders of his hoodie. On Kat's outfit the logo would go down the side of her leg. Then across the breast of her top. As kat's natural D-cup was lusted after by much of the males in the WWE Universe, it'd cause quite a stir, slapping the words- 'Dashing Duo' over them.

When Cody was in the ring going over his moves with Justin, Kat was watching from the commentators chairs, she was in Booker T's chair, when Beth and Nattie found her, they seemed very excited-

''We're so happy about your storyline with Cody.''Beth smiled- ''Finally a Diva is getting some real story work. This might be the end of 3 minute matches.''

Kat nodded smiling- ''Lets hope so, bring back the real matches, not this 3 minute Barbie cat fight bullshit. Like I always ask- would Chyna stand for this? Hell NO!''

Nattie winked- ''Do us proud girlie. Oh and a little birdie tells me that Copeland got a dressing down from Teddy earlier.''

''God is Vickie spying again?'' Kat rolled her eyes giggling- ''I'm going to start checking under couches for her before private conversations that women is so nosey.''

Beth laughed- ''Oh yeh, but get this-he hears about your story line with Cody, he pitches a bitch fit, storms to Teddy and demands he cancel the team up.''

Kat was appalled- ''That nosey prick! What is he taking tips from Vickie now?''

Nattie added- ''Then he demands that HE takes Cody's place,''

''Arrogant ass! What did Teddy say to that?''

Beth smiled that wicked smile of hers- ''Teddy lost it and threatened to suspend him, saying that he'd never had so much trouble from one superstar. I suspect he'd like to fire him and be done with it.''

Katarina had to agree-''Jesus- affairs, injuries, public complaints, promiscuity, then he's a dick to the coolest boss ever. Way to blow your chances at a title shot Edge.''

Nattie got a gleeful look in her eyes- ''And now you get to twist the knife by being in a romantic story line, with that young, beautiful man, that's gotta feel good.''

Kat nodded- ''All that and he's a nice guy too.''

Beth and Nattie did a very high-school chorus of ''ooh.''

''Shut up, I'm just saying, hell look at him.''

All three of them looked to the ring and as if on cue, while laughing with Justin, Cody removed his sweat soaked shirt, revealing that incredible chiselled physique. Talk about a slice of perfection! He wasn't bulky and too big like John Cena, he was all muscle packed on to a naturally slender body, he was poetry in motion.

''Did he look this good when you were teenagers?'' Beth inquired.

Kat never took her eyes away from Cody- ''He was skinny, with these really long arms, his eyes were still amazing, so adorable. Great kisser.''

It slipped out before she could stop it.

The two blondes were gob smacked, then Nattie got it together enough to say- ''What? You two have history? Kissing based history?''

''Shh! Keep it down!'' Kat hissed- ''We only kissed once, we were 14 and it was both of our first kiss.''

''Aww.'' they cooed.

''It got pretty hot.'' she recalled- ''If my mom hadn't caught us, goodness knows what it would have lead to, I was straddling him and his freakishly developed man-hands were everywhere at once, I don't think he knew what to grab first.''

''God, imagine Cody could have been your first time.'' Beth said, whimsically.

Kat smiled, it would have been a very sweet thing- ''I'd have been a very lucky girl. But my real first time was wonderful, so I can't really complain.''

In the ring Cody was getting a feel for how it'd be to have 'Kat Black' ring side with him. It made him want to impress her, to push himself to be better, after all she was beyond being just a Diva, she'd fought men! She'd taken down Nash with her 'Ladder' move, this girl was the real deal...and he really REALLY liked her. He hoped that he could help her got over that man-whore. Even if he was just a friend for now, he'd be patient.

When he was done in the ring, he saw her at the bottom of the ramp waiting for him, they shared a smile and headed off together.

They got past the gorilla and she saw a devilish look in his eyes, they had a glint to them- ''What are you up to Runnels?''

''Oh nothing just wondering how you'd react if a big sweaty guy, bear hugged you.'' he teased.

She backed away cautiously smirking- ''don't you dare!''

He broke out into a grin- ''Oh I dare!''

She squealed and took off so fast she left her stilettos behind in the hall, he grabbed them and ran after her laughing.

''You're an evil beast Coddles!'' she laughed turning a corner, running past a group of fellow superstars, who then saw Cody chasing her with no shirt on, holding what appeared to be her shoes.

''You can't out-run me Cinderella1''

She laughed- ''you still haven't caught me Coddles!''

The group was Zack, Matt Korklan, Jay, Adam and Randy, they all laughed at the pair, well apart from Adam who let out a growl.

Matt cocked a brow at the tall Canadian- ''Dude you blew your cool indifference right out of the water there.''

''Shut it Korklan!'' he glared at the high flyer.

The whole situation was getting out of hand, it'd been almost a week since he'd fucked up, ok he hadn't apologised, but they were friends, hell they were closer than that in his eyes, she should know that he wouldn't have meant it when he called her a cock tease. But there she was messing around with Cody, as if their kiss meant nothing at all to her.

NO! He wasn't standing for that!

The laughing pair had done a lap of the entire arena, before calling a truce at the locker room door-

''I'll even give you your shoes back Cinders.''

''Well, thank you Mr Runnels.''

she popped them back on, he held her hands to steady her as she did so, and he felt goose bumps flare up at the contact.

He was about to say something, when a certain blonde rounded the corner, Cody saw Kat's arms go around herself protectively. He didn't want her upset like this!

Adam looked at her, she looked so young and vulnerable stood there, in her feminine clothes, a change from her jeans and band shirts. Something had changed, she was wearing a cute little dress with short sleeves, the black fabric, covered with tiny peach flowers, at her little waist was a wide belt, she had on black leggings and heels. Surrounded by her flowing waves, she was that 18 year old girl again.

''Kitty Kat can we talk?''

She saw that look on his face, she read him like a book, he was feeling guilty!

Looking at Cody she tried to give him a look that showed that he didn't have to worry about her, clearly it'd fallen short of the mark, he gave a little frown.

''what do you want Adam?''

''We need to talk, can we go somewhere private?''

Katarina shook her head and said- ''Let's just put Saturday behind us, it was ugly, I don't want to think about it. As far as I'm concerned- we're friends, nothing more.'' she stepped forward, looking into his handsome face- ''and I you ever try to go behind my back to interfere in my story lines, I'll plant your pretty face into the concrete with a K.T.D.''

Adam knew that she meant it, the K.T.D was one of her special moves she liked to pull out of the bag every now and then, 'Kiss The Dirt' was a killer, similar t the R.K.O but she grabbed the back of your neck while standing your side and you hate the matt face first.

He was gutted, this was how it was plying out- ''Ok,...I'm sorry for everything.''

turning on his heel,he had to get away while he could salvage his last shred of pride, or he;d drop to his knees and beg for her to be with him.

Cody saw her turn to him and sigh- ''I think it's going to be a very long time before i'll ever trust that guy again.''

He put an arm around her- ''Well, let's take your mind off him and break out Resident Evil 5 and rack up some co-op carnage.''

she smiled- ''you're on-now go shower then we can blast some un-dead ass.''

Adam sat beside Jay in the rental car on the way back to the hotel.

''Fuck ad, stop scowling, what the hell did she say?''

''Not a lot, she tossed it aside saying we're ''just friends'' and she threatened to kick my ass if I interfered in her career.''

Jay nodded- ''Can you blame her? From what Nattie told me earlier, Kat thinks that you lied to get in to her pants!''

''WHAT!'' Adam yelled.

''did you tell her you loved her?''

''Yes.''

''Did you try to have sex with her?''

''Yes.'' he said quietly, looking sheepish.

''Did you get pissed when she said no?''

Ad cringed- ''Yes.''

''Did you seriously call her a cock tease?'' Jay's voice was getting louder and louder with every question he asked.

''Oh God! I did.''

Jay punched his oldest friend really hard in the upper arm, as he tried to focus on the road- ''Ass hole! Don't you EVER call Katarina that! If Nate was alive he'd kick seven shades of shit out of you!''

''Well, clearly she's her father's daughter then because she hit me for that!''

''Good! Well, she thinks you confessed love to get laid.''

''but I wasn't lying.'' he whined.

''You're telling the wrong person.''

''she'll never listen to me now!''

''After being called a 'cock tease' I'm surprised she didn't castrate you with her bare hands. You want to home Joy doesn't find out about this, or she'll show you why her and Nate were a scary married couple!''

Adam was TOTALLY scared of Joy Blackmore! If you crossed her, you got an ass kicking of a life time, that 5ft10 lady was a trained chef so she had all kinds of huge sharp knives at her disposal.

When Katarina had been 19 and ready to hit the indie wresting circuits, he'd been going through some combinations with her, he'd gotten distracted by how hot her ass looked in her shorts, swung his elbow at the wrong tome and caught her in the face. It resulted in the scar she had now, by her left eye, half an inch long, horizontal, very close to the outer edge of her eye.

Joy Blackmore had walked up to him in the hospital corridor and slapped him upside the head and said as he sat in the uncomfortable chair, frozen with shock-

''Listen to me Adam Joseph- my daughter is getting 4 stitches in her beautiful, perfect face, because of YOU. I swear to the Devil himself, that if she comes to any harm at your hands, I'll cut your fucking hands off. Then I'll take my biggest sharpest knife and I'll cut off anything else of yours that I NEVER want near my daughter! Do you understand me Adam? Don't speak just nod!''

He'd nodded in terror, afraid his cock was going to get butchered.

Jay had never incurred Joys wreath, she thought Jason was a perfect gentleman, and she thought Adam was an irresponsible sex addict.

To that day he still lived in fear of Kat's mom, so he hoped to God that she never found out. He was too young to die.

**AN: Kat's mom Joy Blackmore, is basically Gemma from Sons of Anarchy, but you haven't seen it get a look on YouTube she's a ''fierce mother'' **

**In my first draft she went to talk to Adam in his locker room and they got together, then I thought- no no no- Kat's smarter than that, he's a liar and a cheat, she deserves better.**

**Notice how he got hit a few times lately? There's more where that came from next chapter ;)**

**R&R please.**

**Review=quicker updates.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: thank you all for the amazing reviews, I appreciate them so much, the same goes for adding me to your alerts ;) **

**I'm glad you all like the Cody-Kat budding romance. Well it's time to not just go and stoke the embers of their romance but throw some petrol on there to get the blaze going. **

**As promised Adam is going to get a bit more violence thrown at him, but we hate him so it's all good! R&.**

**I only own my oc's **

What I Can't Have

Chapter 5

Cody and Kat got back to the hotel just after 5pm and in the elevator got chatting about family-

''It's my parents 40th anniversary coming up.'' he smiled.

''Wow, 40 years that's amazing. Are they having one of the famous Runnels parties?'' she asked excitedly.

Cody laughed- ''Oh yeah, your invitation will be with your mom soon.''

''Well, I'll RSVP to it.'' she smiled, liking being around Cody more than ever.

Cody was glad she'd be there, his parents- Dusty and Elaine loved Katarina and Joy.

''Will your dad be making that blue punch again?'' she grinned.

Cody laughed- ''of course, it wouldn't be a Runnels garden party without that stuff. But this time we've been warned no more diving in the lake while drunk on it.''

Kat bit back laughter at the memory. Last year for Cody's 25th birthday they'd been in his home town where his parents resided- Marietta- Georgia and Dusty and Elaine wanted to have a family party. Kat had gone with him and been put up in the guest room of Cody's very nice lake view cottage, a short walk from his parents lake front home.

But as the first bowl of punch was finished, Dusty got a bit heavy with his measurements while making the second batch and everyone ended up very drunk, all his cousins, his aunts and uncles, his family friends too. Yet, only the two of them ended up running off down the garden, jumping the fence at the bottom of the garden like the professionals they were. Then running down the private dock where Dusty's fishing boat was moored. Straight off the end they jumped, laughing their asses off, despite the freezing water.

That party had been the start of her crush on him, it'd been seeing him in his soaking wet white shirt, leading her from the water, if they hadn't had about 25 people staring at them she still had no idea what she'd have done to him. The wet shirt- the lake, it was very Mr Darcy to her. Only Elizabeth Bennett didn't see Mr Darcy throw up in his mother's roses half an hour later.

When they got off the elevator they headed towards his room, they rounded the corner hearing shouting, then saw Amy screaming at Adam in the doorway of his room-

''You're a liar Copeland! You said you weren't fucking her!''

''I never have!'' he yelled back in her face.

''That's not what I've been told!''

''what do you care? YOU dumped ME! Or is this about her being younger and hotter than you?''

Amy shrieked like a woman possessed and full force punched him in the face.

Cody and Kat got to his door, praying that the crazed woman wouldn't see them, no such luck-

''Well, well ,well, look who it is- The Skank of Doom,''

Kat turned to the red head who stood 20 feet away- ''Skank? Me? Hardly, at least I know the first and second names of the men I've slept with, you can probably barely recall hair colour! Fucking whore!''

Cody saw the fire in Kat's eyes and knew that this could get ugly. This girl was the daughter of two very tough people, Amy would get the crap knocked out of her.

Adam regained composure, fighting through the pain in his cheek and saw the girls were facing off, he headed over.

''You might play the innocent beauty, but it's bullshit, you're no better than me.''

Kat laughed- ''That's where you're wrong- I haven't fucked over half the roster!''

Amy narrowed her hard eyes- ''so you say!''

''You want honesty- have it- I've only had 3 lovers, because when I sleep with someone it's for love!'' she said honestly, not embarrassed by it at all- ''something I bet very few- if any guys have ever done for you!''

Kat saw the hurt flash through Amy's face and the older woman raised a hand to strike her, but it was caught from behind by Adam, who said angrily-

''Don't you EVER touch her! She's done nothing wrong!''

Cody's arm went around Kat protectively, Adam felt sick seeing that gesture. Amy wrenched her arm free and glared at Kat, who very clearly wasn't scared of her at all-

''You think you're such hot property, being at the top, but you're in for a world of trouble now!''

Kat got a very evil smirk on her face- ''You come back and tell me that IF you get a renewal for your contract, maybe then I'll take it seriously.''

Amy let out that ear bleeding shriek again and lunged for Kat, but Adam's arm banded around her waist and halted her attack, he said loudly- ''Get the hell out of here!''

Wild eyed she looked at Adam, then Katarina- ''If you want Adam – fucking have him! But remember this- I always had him first!''

Kat had had enough practice at being a bitch when she needed to be, it's how she'd created her character, so she cocked a perfectly sculpted brow and said bitchily- ''Did you now?''

Amy flinched and Kat saw it'd hit her hard, ok it was a lie, but she'd played on Amy's insecurity so well, she'd hurt Amy in the exact way she intended.

Kat looked up at Adam and grinned, not ready to drop the bitch act just yet- ''shame on you Copeland, it's a very tangled web you've woven.''

Adam had never seen this side of her, he was lost for words, so when Amy looked at him, his lack of words made him look guilty as sin, earning him a knee in the balls.

Kat and Cody watched the scene and actually felt sorry for Adam, that was one nasty shot to the nuts, Amy tore her way down the hall, seriously pissed.

Cody didn't have a clue what to do, but he had to cringe as he watched the older guy slide down the wall, crippled with pain. Kat laughed- ''Sorry Ad, I didn't think the crazy bitch would actually believe me.''

He shot her the evil eye- ''Thanks for..that!''

Cody bit back a smirk and Katarina looked at him- ''You ready to go kick some un-dead ass Mr Runnels?''

''I think so Miss Blackmore.''

He opened his door and looked at Kat as she patted Adam on the shoulder and said in a voice that was full of fake sympathy- ''want me to call reception and get you a heat pad for the boys?''

The pained man scowled.

''I'll take that as a no.''

Once they were inside his room, they looked at each other and just fell into fits of laughter, not caring one bit if he could hear them either.

On the couch, they sat as the game set away, he asked- ''It's none of my business...but have you and Adam ever...you know?''

She blushed slightly and shook her head- ''No never. We've only kissed once, that's it.''

''Sorry for asking.'' he shook his head, feeling really rude for asking her that.

He couldn't help but feel like a total geek around her, never saying the right thing. He wondered if she'd been honest about only having had three lovers. Then again, he was hardly a slut himself, his parents had raised him to be respectful when it came to dating and intimacy. She was a good girl and he liked that. Ok, he'd seen her be jaw droppingly sexy for Smackdown, for the Halloween show, she'd been dressed as Wonder Woman and it'd made one of his all time greatest fantasies come true. In that costume, she'd had several guys make very lewd comments to her, one guy still feared her wrath- Heath Slater had grabbed her ass and made a comment about an invisible plane and she'd nearly choked the ginger guy with her Lasso of Truth.

So he knew she could turn on the sexiness when she had to.

Kat picked Sheva to play as and Cody picked Chris and they were away playing Resident Evil 5 on his XBOX 360.

''Are you nervous about our story line?'' he asked as they played.

''Not really, it helps that we already know each other and get on really well.''

''We're going to be paired for signings and interviews and all sorts together now.'' he smiled liking the idea a lot.

She smiled to herself- ''Doesn't sound too bad to me.''

He laughed- ''Good, just don't freak out when you start getting calls from my mom and sister.''

she smirked, hitting the buttons quickly- ''why would they call me?''

''As embarrassing as it is, they still think I'm 12 years old and they'll want you to keep them informed on how I'm doing, they don't believe me, not since the broken nose thing.'' he rolled his eyes.

''Oh, it's cute that they care.''

''No, it's not.'' he hammered the buttons.

''Cody, be glad you don't have my mom's safe sex lectures.''

He laughed- ''Well, I just get them from my dad and his 'Care Packages'.''

She saw him blush-''dare I ask what's in these 'Care Packages'.''

''The last one contained 100 condoms, in various flavours and colours, lick-able massage oil that smelled like ice cream and lick-able cherry body paint.'

Cody had been mortified when he'd seen that package waiting for him at the hotel reception a few weeks ago. But, his room mate at the time had been Dolph/Nick, so he'd benefited by getting free rubbers for him and his many conquests. Hell on the tour, Cody had become the go-to guy for protection at all hours of the night, which was odd when he was one of the very few who weren't screwing every ring-rat that he made eye contact with.

''Oh my God Dusty!'' Kat gasped, jokingly- ''Condoning the use of lick-able bedroom favours!''

Cody saw her grinning and he had to as well- ''Just the thought of him buying all that stuff makes me feel a bit sick.''

''Ah the power of the internet shopping. Saving customers all the red cheeks and nervous browsing.'' she giggled- ''but, his heart is in the right place.''

''Yeah, you're right. He worries that I'm not socialising, that I spend too much time in nerd-land.'' he indicated the game controller in his hand.

She shook her head- ''Nothing wrong with nerd-land, I spend a lot of time there and it's fun and not as messy as cherry body paint.''

He laughed, feeling accepted by her, not afraid to be himself- ''You don't mind us being nerds together?''

''Nope, Just promise me one thing- that you'll never change or stop being you.'' she paused the game looking at him.

Cody looked at her and nodded- ''I promise.''

Giving him that beautiful smile, she said- ''Good, because, I like our time together, it's not the same on my own.''

Kat saw his dazzling smile, he was just beyond belief when it came to looks, there was an angelic purity to him. It made her want to stare at him and not bother being discreet.

''Your mom isn't going to get mad about our story line is she?'' he inquired as they resumed their gaming.

''No, she adores you and it's not like we're in a dirty story line. Rest assured momma-Joy isn't going to fly in and throw knives at you.'' she smiled.

''Good.'' he replied exhaling,- ''she can be pretty scary.''

She nodded- ''Oh yeah, she's a self confessed fierce mother. But she kept Adam in his place all these years.''

Cody got a wicked smirk on hid face- ''Guess Amy's little bit of GBH would look like a paper cut compared to what your mom would dish if she knew about the details.''

Kat smirked back at him- ''The castration she threatened years ago, would be carried out.''

The next day Kat and Cody went to the arena together, to try on their new ring attire before the show. They were in their changing cubicles in the wardrobe area and all Cody could think was- she'd practically naked only inches from him. He had to get his hormones under control, the last thing he needed was to get an erection in his new trunks, you couldn't hide ANYTHING in them!

Kat was getting into her new attire and she loved it, it was really hot!

But as she looked at herself in the mirror, all she could think about was Cody being possibly naked next door to her, a dirty grin playing across her lips as she pulled back the curtain and showed Nessa the result of her great work.

Nessa smiled- ''You make my job a dream.'' loving how the diva looked- ''do you feel secure?'' she indicated to Kat's D-cup.

Kat tested the tops built in padded sports bra by bouncing up and down and then hit a hand-stand, everything stayed in place, she stood up and Nessa smiled- ''no escaping breasts- I call that a success.''

Kat winked at the designer- ''The old designer didn't realise that real breasts move when you wrestle, she'd clearly only worked with fake ones. Those damn things are like rocks they just don't move you could go all high-flyer and nothing!''

Inside the changing room Cody was in hell, he'd been ready to exit, taken one look out of the curtain, seen Kat jiggling her voluptuous breasts and he'd been instantly turned on. He was now leaning against the wall, hating his libido, right then. He was like a horny teenager again, not a 26 years old man.

''Cody? She called- ''How's your new gear?''

He had no idea how to answer- ''Erm...it's perfect..just perfect.''

Kat heard him sounding different, worried even. Kat turned to Nessa and asked- ''Can you give us a few minutes.''

Nessa smiled ''No problem.'' and stepped outside.

Kat went to the curtain,not opening it, she didn't want to invade his privacy- ''Cody, it's just us in here now, are you ok?''

By this time Cody was in his boxers and jeans by this point, he pulled back the curtain and saw her concern, those big green eyes looking up at him, full of concern and...innocence. She really had no clue what effect she had on him. He went closer and lay his hands on her shoulders and gave her a smile- ''I'm fine Kitty Kat.''

She loved his body, it was perfection, not that she hadn't seen it many times before, but right now up close and in the flesh, she had to really focus on his face or she would have started kissing his chest and never wanted to stop- ''Are you sure?''

He nodded- ''You'll have to wait until tonight to see my new ring attire.''

She was glad to see him smile- ''You're making me wait to shamelessly ogle you? Mean boy!''

He laughed and wondered- was she flirting? So, he dared himself to teat the waters, he looked her up and down, nodding appreciatively- ''Well, I'll do mine now- you're certainly doing justice to the team name Miss Blackmore.''

Kat didn't know if he was in character of really flirting for real, but she said- ''I'm pretty sure I'll be returning the compliment later.''

Cody's thumbs were stroking the edges of her delicate collar bones and he saw she shiver gently and purse her lips very softly.

Kat couldn't help her reaction, where he was stroking was a big turn on area for her, the thought of his lips and tongue on that sensitive skin, exploring and tasting just made her mouth run dry. She wanted to kiss him like she'd never kissed a guy before. But she had to restrain herself, a little flirting was one thing, throwing herself at him was something VERY different indeed.

Cody slid his hands down her toned arms, enjoying the silky skin beneath his touch and he took her hands in his, not trusting himself to touch any other part of her or he'd break and throw himself into the hands of his libido.

''So.'' she said, liking his warm touch on her hands- ''Lets get our clothes on and get our scripts for tonight.''

He nodded, giving her a very 'Cody Rhodes' smile, which made her cock one brow and twist her lips into a cheeky smile, just like she did in the ring as 'Kat Black.'

They finished getting changed and took their new attire to their locker room, which now had their team name and logo on the door, on a plaque. Ok, it was removable, like everyone elses, for when they moved on to the next city, but it made it real, they were going to be teamed up for quite some time.

They got their scripts from the creative team and ran their lines in the catering area over lunch. Cody was winning his match over Justin and the scene with Katarina was set after the match, after they'd changed back into their street clothes and they were talking about his win and them forming the ultimate tag -team.

They had to KISS at the end!

Filming began at 4pm, their scene was the last one to be done that day-

(Scene-outside their locker room)

_Cody stroked Kat's cheek-_

_''My victory over that joke- Gabriel, is just the beginning of our reign here at Smackdown. Me- the Intercontinental Champion and you- you'll take Kelly's belt. Together we'll be unstoppable.''_

_Kat smiled, laying her hands on his chest-_

_''Handsome and ambitious, we'll show no mercy.''_

_He laughed- ''Beautiful and brutal- we make a perfect team.''_

_He leaned in and kissed her._

Cody momentarily forgot they were being filmed, because when she kissed him back she made a delicious little moan, they both jumped a mile when the director called- ''Cut!''

Kat had been getting far too carried away, her hands had slid down his chest and her fingers had been tracing the waist band of his jeans- Jesus, she'd been close to sexually assaulting him on camera. His kiss was like a drug to her!

Then cheers went up, Kat and Cody both looked down the hall and saw Beth, Nattie, Matt and Zack cat calling them. She looked up at Cody, who was blushing just as much as she was.

He smiled-''You ok?''

He watched her nod, she was so adorable when she blushed, he hugged her, he just couldn't help it, then he leaned down and said in her ear- ''Stop blushing, we've got no reason to be embarrassed.''

She looked up at him and beckoned him closer, she said in his ear quietly- ''we didn't do a screen kiss Cody.''

He frowned- ''What?''

Kat blushed even deeper-''Erm...screen kisses..you don't ...use tongue...we..forgot that part.''

It was Cody's turn to blush, he'd never been told that, he'd never had a romantic story line so he'd never had a reason to know- ''Shit, I'm sorry...guess you forgot too.''

Kat had been too into the kiss to care, but she couldn't fight the guilty look on her face.

Cody saw her face- she hadn't forgotten. Had she just kissed him for real? On purpose? He hoped so! Gathering up all the courage in himself he looked into her eyes and slowly began moving closer to her.

Beth, Nattie, Matt and Zack had looked away from the pair for no more than 10 seconds, when Zack whipped off his shades and with his usually unstoppable mouth hanging wide pen, he just pointed down the hall.

The 3 others looked- Cody and Katarina, sharing a slow but passionate kiss and Adam Copeland standing a few feet away from them in his locker room doorway, face bruised, heart visibly splitting in two.

Beth said to the others- ''One week and my God how the tables have turned.''

**AN: Just a kiss right now but I don't know if their first ''night together'' when they get to that stage- should be all romantic or full on raunchy clothes ripper.**

**R&R.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thank you for all the lovely reviews this story has received so far, lets see if we can break double figures with the next chapter. The wrath of Amy is about to get bigger.**

**R&R let me know by PM if there's anything you'd like to see in this story. Can't wait to write the Runnels 40th anniversary party chapter ;) **

What I Can't Have

Chapter 6

Cody and Kat were oblivious to their captive audience, because their kiss was the only thing getting their attention and that wasn't changing any time soon.

He held her and he felt her shiver in his arms, he became very aware of the effect she had on him too, his legs were very much shaky in the knee department. But, he fought the pathetic action of going weak in the knees, that would just be proving what a nerd he was. Knowing his luck, he'd end up head butting her on the way down.

Jay saw Adam just stood stock still in the doorway , he wanted to get past the taller man, he was starving and wanted to get to catering before Randy Orton ate all the chocolate dipped cookies, damn that man's sweet tooth! He tapped his shoulder-

''hey man.''

Nothing.

Shaking his head, he shook Adams shoulder gently, he moved a few inches, so Jay sucked in his breath and squeezed through a gap that Evan Bourne would have struggled with. He then followed the line of his friends vision- WOAH- they'd actually hooked up!

Jay smiled, so glad that Kitty Kat was actually moving on with her life he was proud of her, all she'd needed was a little push in the right direction.

Then Jay saw Adam glaring at him like he'd just bitch slapped Gene Simmons or something.

''What the hell are you smiling for? Don't tell me that you're happy about that?'' he pointed over his shoulder at the smooching pair.

Jay shrugged- ''I knew that they liked each other, they're young and well suited. She deserves to be happy.''

''I can make her happy, he's a boy for Christ's sake!''

Jay shook his head- ''No. you were making her miserable. Let her go, please Adam let her go.''

Cody lay his forehead against Kat's and whispered- ''I like kissing you.''

Kat couldn't help smiling- ''Right back at you.''

She felt him stroke her hair back behind her ear and say- ''feels good not having your mom walk in after though.''

They looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh.

She casually looked to where Cody's eyes had been drawn, only to see Jay practically dragging Adam off down the hall, as he shot daggered looks over his shoulder at them with his green eyes. Jay mouthed 'Sorry' at them.

Cody pulled her closer and then looked at her- ''Wanna hang out in our locker room?''

She nodded, wanting to avoid a scene with Adam.

They spent the run up to the show, in their own company and as new as it was, spending time together like that, didn't feel weird or awkward. They went to hair and make up together where she teased him about the fact that he knew how to use a heated eye lash curler-

''Hey! I had to make the old Dashing Grooming Tips look convincing you know.''

Kat laughed- ''Well, if this is the kind of beauty skills you're hiding, how are you with a hair straightener? We can cut the time here in half if you're that talented.'' she winked.

Cody scowled at her in good humour- ''You can talk, little miss shot gun,''

''Hey my dad was in the army and had no sons to pass his skills on to, it was a father-daughter bonding day, you'll be glad of my shot gun skills if zombies become a reality.''

She rarely talked about her dad with anyone but Cody, Adam and Jay, so he was glad that she was smiling as she did so.

When they were in their locker room she stepped into the main area waiting for Cody to emerge.

''Ready?'' he called from behind the private changing room door.

''Get out here you Dashing stud.''she giggled.

He opened the door and stepped out, Kat was nodding, he was GORGEOUS! In his trunks, boots, sleeveless hoodie and she couldn't have spoken a complete sentence if she'd tried.

Cody walked closer and was just over-come, he reached out took her face in his hands and kissed her, she tasted like a piece of heaven,he didn't have a none cliché to hand, she was just heaven to him. The way her lips were so soft, the way her fingers ran down his bare chest, making him shudder, it all made him feel like the luckiest guy alive.

They were interrupted by Teddy Long, he popped his head in- ''Hey playas- after your match Cody, the pair of you will be doing guest commentary with Cole and Booker T, so dress in your street clothes and stay in character. Have fun kids.''

Teddy's magic had indeed worked, he'd seen the pair had had eyes for each other and been wondering how to get them together. He'd tried giving them rooms next door to each other, seats together on flights, but the story line had been his last hope. It seemed to have worked, they were good kids and had worked so hard since their arrivals. He was such a romantic at heart.

Kat and Cody got their 5 minute call for his match against Justin Gabriel.

He'd just put on one hell of a show for Kat when he removed his hoodie to put on the baby oil, not a lot, he didn't look like a greased turkey a Christmas, he just had a nice sheen to him. He'd done a warm up and her eyes had been fixated on his perfect body, dirty thoughts running rampant in her head. But the oil had been her undoing, he'd caught her ogling.

He'd looked up, hating the feeling of the oil on his hands, he saw the grin on her lovely pink lips, it broke into a big Cheshire Cat smile and he had to laugh- ''Are yo ogling me Miss Blackmore?''

She simply nodded- ''It's your own fault for holding out on me when we were trying all of this on.''

Knowing he always got nervous before a match, she wanted to take his mind off thing and relax him.

He fought a flat-out laugh and played along- ''Damn, here I was thinking that it was my mind you were after.''

She watched the way his biceps flexed as he put his hoodie back on, he put out a hand for her, which she took – ''Oh Cody, you know it's the whole package.''

''All of it huh?'' he flirted shamelessly.

Kat wondered if that was a cock reference , but didn't ask, she just flirted back- ''Every inch.''

He felt himself go warm in the cheeks as she winked a blush on her own cheeks too.

They walked hand in hand down to the gorilla, passing several of their colleagues, who gave the pair strange looks as they passed. Amy's face was a picture as she noticed them holding hands.

Justin went out first fort he match as his music started. Kat was ignoring Adam, because he would try to start something, he never cared about timing when it came to mouthing off at someone.

Cody looked at Kat- ''You ready?''

''Hell yeah.'' she winked.

He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it, then their new theme blasted through the arena and out they went.

The announcer began- ''Weighing in at 215lbs, hailing from Marietta Georgia, reigning Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes, accompanied to the ring by 3 times former Divas champion Kat Black.''

The crowds reaction was split, she was their beloved diva despite her being a heel and he was the vain jerk they loved to hate, so the pair showing up together was a shock!

He kissed her hand again, but this time for the cameras, smirked arrogantly and as they mad their way down the ramp, he had his arm clamped firmly around her slender waist, both of them having their noses in the air, full of cocky attitude.

She walked him up the metal steps to the ring and he took his hoodie off and to her surprise put it on her giving her a little wink. He held up his title belt, kissed it once and passed it off to her, slapping the ref's hands away from it. She smirked at him, he ran the backs of his fingers over her cheek and it was easy for her to wonder if he'd momentarily dropped the character, because his eyes just broadcast warmth at her..

She could hear Cole and Booker T, throwing theories around about their pairing, but she ignored them as the bell rang and she got back into character to cheer her man on.

Backstage Beth and Nattie could clearly see that Kat being ring side was great for Cody, his performance was sharper, his moves had more of an animalistic edge to them, that guy was on fire.

Nattie smiled- ''Wow, is this show for the fans or just for our girl?''

''Look at her, she's loving it.'' Beth was pleased for the young Diva- ''She looks incredible, I'm so glad she's finally got the right man.''

Nattie agreed- ''Me too, they look hot together.''

Cody hit his 'Cross Rhodes' and it was all over, 1,2,3,- Cody won!

Kat went up the steps, bounced over the top rope with the agility and grace many Divas would kill for, his belt still firmly on her shoulder, he was giving her a smirk and she handed him his belt. He raised it, then pulled her into his arms then into a kiss that was not PG-13. It was a full on ratings booster.

He was being a bad boy! She stayed in character and ran a teasing finger along his jaw line, they parted and left the ring, Kat still wearing his hoodie.

At the top of the ramp, she felt his hand creeping to her ass, he gave it a playful tap, she giggled, knowing it had been seen by the cameras, they never missed stuff like that!

In the gorilla, she burst out laughing- ''You're a fucking tease Runnels!''

''don't know what you're talking about, my hand slipped.'' he winked.

She locked eyes with Adam, who gave her the dirtiest look that she'd ever received. Yes, it hurt, after all they'd been friends for what felt like her whole life, and it was all falling apart, with looks like that it made her wonder if they'd ever have anything left to salvage. Hiding the feeling, she cocked a brow at him- ''Careful pretty boy, you'll get crows feet with all that scowling.''

Beth and Nattie smothered laughter, even Jay was trying not to laugh.

Cody was proud of her, she'd always been feisty, clearly she had no issue with calling people out if she had a problem with them.

The dashing Duo headed off to get changed

Checking the schedule they realised who's match they were doing commentary on- 'Edge Vs Dolph Ziggler.'

''Something tells me we're going to have fun with this one.'' Cody smirked, drying his hair after the worlds quickest shower.

''Best part- Dolph is set to win.'' Kat said zipping up her knee boots.

''Is it wrong to want Adam to get a chair in the face?'' Cody inquired stepping out in black pants, black short sleeved shirt and black Gucci shoes.

When Kat saw him, her ogle-metre went off the scale- ''Cody did you just come form a GQ shoot?''

He blushed slightly, running his hand over his hair- ''Too much?''

She shook her head- ''No, you look gorgeous.''

He smiled when he saw her out fit, knee boots, black tailored shorts, white short sleeved shirt, with a wide patent leather belt around her waist- ''You look so pretty.''

Smiling at him feeling suddenly inexplicably shy- ''Thank you.''

They got to the commentary table, Cole and Booker T greeted them-

''We're joined at commentary by the new tag team partners Cody Rhodes and Kat Black. Welcome you two, looking very sharp tonight the pair of you if I may say.'' Cole said.

Kat got her head-set in place comfortably and said to Cole with a smirk- ''Well thank you Michael Cole and it's great to be here.''

''Great natch Cody.'' Cole said.

''well thank you Cole.'' Cody said with that in-character drawl he'd fashioned so well.

Booker T said- ''Here comes Ziggler , damn that guys is such a show off!''

Dolph made his usual, memorable entrance with Vickie and then out came Edge.

Booker said to Kat- ''Rumour has it- you and Edge aren't getting along so well these days.''

Cody piped up, to help Kat avoid any awkward questions- ''That sleazy wretch, is opposed to change and objects to any pairing that takes the focus from him and his flavour of the month, who ever she might be, I lose track with him. He's just jealous.''

Kat stayed in character- ''Like Cody said, edge needs to get his ego and jealousy in check or I promise that it won't end well for him.''

In the ring Adam could hear them, ok they were in character but this was getting VERY real and hitting was below the belt.

When the bell rang, Cole asked- ''Well, we saw the footage of the pair of you backstage after you match Cody, do you consider yourselves a 'Power Couple'?''

Cody replied- ''Absolutely! We're both ambitious and well- Dashing!''

Booker said- ''Not forgetting that Kat here is the 3 times Divas Champion, that's a big thing in just 5 years here at Smackdown.''

Kat smiled- ''A title that I WILL reclaim! That belt belongs around a TRUE Diva not a Barbie doll with no place in the ring!''

The match was going well, until Lita ran out and this was NOT scripted. She jumped into the ring and used Edge's spear move against him, sending him crashing to the mat. Then she exited the ring and stood in front of Kat and pointed at her- ''You're next you little bitch!''

Kat was in the zone, even in 3 inch heels, she could still take this whore out.

Cole said- ''looks like Lita wants a piece of our favourite Diva.''

Kat shot Lita a smirk and said- ''You're cry Lita!''

She removed her head-set and pushed back her chair, to the other 3 at the commentators tables shock Kat vaulted over the top and stood several inches taller than the red-head, who was in her wrestling boots. Kat had to pass this off as planned to the audience or the show would fall into chaos and she didn't want Teddy to look bad.

By this point Dolph had pinned Edge and won but all the focus was on the two Divas at ring side. Dolph had the good sense to grab Vickie and get the hell out of the firing line, because the two women were going to take down anyone in their path.

Lita said- ''I've waited a long time to do this!''

She lunged for Kat, who leapt aside and shoved Lita hard into the commentators table. The fans were cheering like crazy they were loving it.

Kat slammed her elbow into Lita's back, dragged her by the back of her shirt and threw her under the ropes and inside the ring,after all if they were going to fight it was going to be seen by everyone! Even in her heels she was agile and ready to beta the shit out of the woman who had been the bane of her contempt for nearly 4 months now.

Adam stood by Cole staring at the irate women.

Booker said- ''Somebody get in there and end this! Cody! Edge! Get it done!''

Cole said- ''Shut up, this is incredible, these two women clearly have issues with each other. Lita came looking for a fight, Kat is just giving the lady what she asked for.''

Cody said- ''Kat is going to flatten that over the hill tart!''

That comment got Cody a dirty look from Lita, in turn he just shot her a challenging look.

Kat circled her opponent and then Lita charged at her scratching Kat's arm and the pain made Kat lash out and slap her, not hard, but enough to send her flying into the ropes, not giving her time to recover, she threw her boots off and put of the ring, fearing they'd be used as a weapon against her and got herself set up for a move and in bare foot ran at Lita.

Booker was on his feet- ''OH MY GOD IS SHE-? YES SHE'S USING HER SIGNITURE MOVE!''

Cole was cheering loudly- ''Oh my God! We're seeing a first. KAT HAS ''LADDERED'' ANOTHER DIVA! Lita is out COLD!''

Cody threw his head-set off and went to his girl. He was stunned, Kat got out of the ring and leapt into his arms, he saw the nasty scratches on her lower arms, but she was none the worse for wear, he hugged her-

''That was incredible!'' he said, careful to hide his words from the cameras.

''Jesus I'm shaking.'' she giggled a slight tremble in her voice.

Adam dragged Lita from the ring, up the ramp and into the gorilla-

''What the hell was that?''

''Exactly what she deserved!'' she screamed, silencing everyone within 200 feet of the area.

''You're out of control! Well you royally fucked up, you stupid bitch, you not only got your ass kicked by her, but you also just lost the last shred of dignity that the live sex celebration left you with. That farce had killed my credibility, I can't believe I let you talk me into that!''

Before she could make a come-back at him, Teddy was beside her, with Cody and Kat (boots firmly back in place)

''All four of you- my office now.''

Cody and Kat held hands, he hoped that she didn't get into trouble, after all Amy was the one interrupting a match and acting mental on a live show!

Teddy got behind his desk and pointed fort hem to sit-

''Ok playas, what the hell were you doing to my show?''

Kat didn't see anyone else willing to speak up, so she did- ''I just tried to make it look like it was meant to happen, I was winging it out there, it wasn't my plan to get jumped.''

Teddy saw the bloody scratched on the young Divas arm, Amy had been out to hurt Kat and Kat had stuck to Wrestling moves.

''Miss Dumas- you're really making trouble here, want to tell me why?''

Amy just shrugged.

''Awfully quiet for someone who just called someone a bitch on a live PG rated show.'' Teddy glared- ''Rumour says you're responsible for Adam's bruises, while your domestic disputes are your business, having them spill over on to a live show is just not acceptable. You're jeopardising story lines and the safety of my superstars.''

Cody could taste what was coming and he hoped for all their sakes that Teddy didn't let him down.

''Physically assaulting co-workers WILL NOT be tolerated, so your contract will NOT be renewed and you'll take paid suspension until it expires.''

Kat's jaw hit her knees, holy shit Amy was basically fired in front of her, never in a million years had she ever thought it'd happen, but it just had and some how it felt kind of ….sad.

Cody took Kat's hand and felt that it was oddly sticky, he looked own and saw that she was bleeding- ''Oh God, Kat baby we need to get you to the medic.''

Teddy urged them to go.

Blood was coming from the deep scratches, down her wrist and on to their hands.

''oh I hadn't noticed.'' Kat said, only feeling the pain when she looked down at the area.

Adam was instantly worried, years of looking out for her and loving her couldn't be turned off just because they were mad at each other, it was still second nature to care. He got the door for her-

''You ok Kitty Kat?''

Kat was surprised by his concern, a big change from his evil eye and hostility- ''I will be Ads, I promise.''

He looked at Cody and said- ''Take care of her ok?''

Cody nodded- ''I will.''

Cody had a feeling that Adam's words weren't all to do with her need for medical attention.

He took her to the medic and he didn't wait to be invited in, this was his girlfriend he wanted to see

that she got the best care and attention. He scratches were cleaned out and and covered. He saw that it stung like hell, but she said she'd had worse.

In their locker room, Cody said while they were packing their bags- ''I can't believe she'd gone.''

''Neither can I .''she frowned- ''She really does hate me.''

He looked at Katarina, shaking his head- ''She's jealous, it's hard to be at the top, she used Matt to get there and then tried to use Adam to stay there.''

Laying her head on his chest, she listened to his heart beating strong and steady under her ear, it relaxed her so much- ''you know just what to say.''

He smiled to himself and kissed the top of her head, glad that he'd done something right. The inner geek was always worried he'd say something stupid, it was easy on camera, you had a script, he could memorise that, be his character, but real life often threw him. At least with Kat, she knew him, if he said something dumb she didn't take offence, he even had a shot at making her laugh with with it.

When they got out of the locker room a lot of people had gathered to see Kat and Cody about the gossip of Amy being fired. But,as usual at WWE there was one last twist in the tale, Amy left her locker room, stood a few feet away from Kat and sneered-

''As you've done me a favour, let me return one to you, little girl.''

Kat was wary and reached fro Cody's hand.

Beth, Nattie, Matt, Zack, Jay, even Adam and Randy closed ranks at Kat's back.

Amy looked at her greatest rival with her group of friends, that had once been her and Matt Hardy's friends too. Amy looked at Kat, directly into those huge green eyes that Amy still thought were beautiful- ''Did you ever tell them about Carolina?''

Kat's eyes slid shut- SHIT! That bitch knew!

Amy laughed- ''You really managed to keep it a secret THIS long! Wow, I take my hat off to you.''

Kat was livid- ''Shut up!''she really didn't want to do this now, hell she never wanted to do this.

Amy smiled,- ''I don't think I will. They're curious, I can see it.'' she looked at the faces behind Kat and said- ''Well, your perfect little 'Diva of Doom' here, spent her vacation time in 2009 in Carolina in the arms of Jeff Hardy, I saw her when I was there with Matt.''

Beth and Nattie knew about Katarina and Jeff, but to their knowledge nobody else had known, not Jay and certainly not Adam. To everyone at WWE the youngest Hardy brother was bad news.

Cody didn't want his girlfriend to be upset like this, so he gave her a reassuring look and said- ''Lets get out of here.''

She nodded.

Cody saw Amy sneering at him- ''I already knew about Jeff you cheap whore.''

When they got out of ear-shot Kat asked- ''Really? You knew?''

Cody nodded, to him it changed nothing, she was still the same Katarina.

But to Adam and Jay it meant something, their girl had kept a BIG secret from them, one that involved the notorious Jeff Hardy, If it was in 2009 that was the year he was busted and got his third strike for failing the drug test. What the hell had Kat been mixed up in if she was dating him?

**AN:hope you liked it- just when you get rid of one problem another one pops up.**

**R&R.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: thank you to everyone who reviewed and added my little story the their faves. Thank you to a certain reviewer who sent me a PM with some great ideas lets just say keep an eye out for Jeff, what can I say- the guy has issues. Hope you like this next part of the story.**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 7

In Cody's rental car Kat was silent, she just couldn't believe Amy knew about her and Jeff, that bitch! God, she really had hung on to that secret, until she could use it to the best of her advantage- oh that fucking bitch!

She knew Jay was going to want to talk to her. Adam was probably going to throttle her. She wasn't looking forward to that. Oh fuck- if this hit Twitter , she'd die, her mom would fly to Raleigh North Carolina and kill Jeff! That guy had enough problems of his own!

When they got to the hotel, Cody took her hand and walked up to her room with her, once inside they just curled up on the bed, still in their very smart clothes, just minus the shoes.

''Kat, talk to me.''

She looked up into those incredible eyes- ''I'm...I didn't want anyone to find out.''

He nodded, knowing that this was understandable.

''Cody how did you find out?''

''You used to get a lot of calls from someone called ''Nero'' and it's his middle name. It didn't take long to figure out that you two were together.''

As Amy packed her case, she made Kat's greatest fear into reality. She not just put out a Tweet about Kat and Jeff Hardy, she posted a very juicy snap shot that she'd saved for such an occasion. It was actually a very sweet picture, they were in his garden he was behind her kissing her neck, his ink on show, that famous multi-coloured hair on show, no mistaking the pair for anybody else. That big mega-watt smile on her face. Despite Amy's feelings towards the girl, the pair had looked so genuinely happy in that picture.

Kat's phone began ringing, Beth's tone breaking the silence they were wrapped up in-

''Hey Beth.''

''Kat baby, the bitch is all over Twitter, a picture of you and Jeff is out.''

''Oh shit.'' She groaned, she looked at Cody- ''It's on Twitter with a picture.''

''You with Cody'' Beth asked.

''Yes.''

''Good, because Jay and Adam are heading you way soon.''

''Thanks for the warning, I'll try not to throw myself from the window.''

Beth laughed- ''Do try.''

''it's only the third floor, knowing my luck I'd survive.'' Kat said dryly.

When the call ended, she got on Twitter and saw the picture- ''Oh God! Look at it! What was she- hiding in the bushes the nosey slut!''

Cody saw the snap, he found that he had no reason to be jealous, it was taken over two years ago, but she did look unbelievably happy.

Kat saw the look on his face- blank, that was worse than anger- ''No, please don't hate me.''

Cody moved the pillow from between them and pulled her on to his lap and just looked at her stunning features- ''I don't hate you at all, how could I?''

He leaned in, one arm around the back of her waist holding her close, his free hand stroking her cheek,as he began kissing her.

Emotions were running high and what started as a slow and sweet kiss, quickly escalated into a deep and demanding make put session. She was straddling him, pushing him back into the mound of soft pillows. Kat's inner love of being in control in bed reared it's head, she took his wrists and pinned them above his head against the padded leather head board. While her other hand trailed down this taught bicep, she ground her pelvis into him, not breaking the kiss for a second.

He couldn't help but groan into the kiss, he was being dominated like he'd never imagined she was capable of, she ground into him and he so badly wanted to touch her, but her strength surprised him. He could have forced himself free, but where was the fun in that? If this beautiful girl wanted him at her mercy, he was there!

Her hand drifted across his perfect abs beneath his shirt, not even daring to touch any lower, she just didn't trust herself he was just too beautiful and they hadn't even been dating 24 hours. A loud banging on her door halted any further action. They both groaned in frustration, she released his hands and got off him giving him one last lingering kiss, when the pounding began again. She stomped to the door, tearing it open, revealing two very pissed off blonde Canadians.

''We need a little talk!'' Adam seethed, barging on.

Jay said nothing, he just had his jaw clenched tightly and he entered behind his partner in this siege.

Cody exited the bedroom, not wanting Katarina to face this alone, he locked eyes with Adam, who pointed right at him- ''Beat it Rhodes this doesn't concern you!''

Cody was really starting to hate this guy and his heavy handed ways- ''I'll leave when Katarina tells me to, she's my girlfriend, you'd do well to remember that!''

Kat was impressed by his attitude, she wanted him to stay, no way was she letting them gang up on her- ''Cody's staying, there's nothing he can't hear, I don't have anything to hide from him.''

They all moved to the lounge area, where Kat's packed cases stood by the door ready fro their departure in the morning.

She looked at the two blondes- ''Lets hear it then.''

Adam needed no further prompting, he took off like a rocket- ''Hardy! Jeff fucking Hardy! What the hell were you thinking? No wonder you kept this a secret!''

She scowled-''See! This is WHY I kept it a secret, you pick apart every part of my life! What gives you the right? You weren't content in scaring off Lee, you got him transferred to RAW, to really seal the deal! Does it feel good abusing you power, to get people chased off?''

Adam sneered- ''Yes it does! That creep with his fucking camera were bullshit!''

''Not to me Adam!''

''Jeff! We're talking about Jeff, that JUNKY PIECE OF SHIT! How long was it going on?''

She scowled so far beyond pissed now- ''A year.''

He let out a shocked humourless laugh, flicking his glorious hair back from his face.

Jay held up a hand to Adam letting him know that he wanted his say now.

Kat saw Jay focus on her- ''Just tell me that you never...never touched any drugs, when you were with him.''

She was offended- ''How can you ask me that? No of course I never touched any drugs!''

''Good.'' Jay sighed- ''you better not be lying either or...I'll tell your mom!''

If this had been any other situation, she'd have laughed at that threat.

''I'm not lying Jay I swear.''

Cody could see Kat was mad, but holding it together surprisingly well. Considering what she'd been through in the past 2 hours, he was shocked that she hadn't slapped the shit out of the over-bearing pair.

Adam narrowed his green eyes at her- ''Who else on the roster knew?''

''Nattie and Beth, Cody too, but he only told me so today.'' she glared back at him.

''Did you know that he was on drugs?'' Adam demanded barely giving her time to finish her sentence.

Kat bit her lower lip, trying so hard to hold back all the memories- ''he didn't relapse until we'd been together just over 10 months!''

''So you knew?'' Jay said, eerily calm.

Kat looked at him, he saw tears hanging in her eyes- ''I knew the second that he slipped.''

''And you didn't dump his ass!'' Adam yelled.

Cody scowled- ''How about you shut the fuck up and let Jay ask some intelligent questions!''

Jay saw Ad was about to leap on Cody and pummel him, so he pushed the taller blonde back into his chair.

''Ok.'' Jay said- ''What happened after you found out?''

Kat blinked, the tears falling- ''I..I took my vacation time, he said he'd need my help, so we went to his home in Raleigh. I wanted to give him all the help I could, he couldn't do it on his own.'' she wiped the tears away- ''when you love someone you help them when they ask, hell even when they're too proud to ask, you help anyway.''

Cody held her hand, she looked at him and laced her fingers through his, giving him a grateful smile.

Adam scoffed, partly at her need to help the junky, but mostly at the show of affection between the couple- ''You never thought to tell us!''

''Ad I know you, you'd have told Teddy or worse Steph and Vince. You hated Jeff already!'' she wiped her eyes.

Jay asked- ''What happened in Raleigh?''

She squeezed her eyes shut- ''He seemed to be doing really well for the first month. Then he vanishes for 3 days. His dad Gil can't find him, Matt can't, Shannon can't. Then I couldn't deny it any longer, you really can't help someone who clearly doesn't want help.'' she cried, then said- ''O called and called him.''

Jay could see that she was still cut up by this whole thing, he gently asked- ''How did you find him?''

''I didn't, he came back...God he looked awful..his skin..it was nearly grey..his eyes just looked ...dead.. he walked past me, like I wasn't even there and-'' she squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could get them- ''He stood with his forehead resting on the window...he was muttering to himself...he..he was saying something about his mom.. and how everyone he loves always leaves him.''

Cody hugged her, she was so up set.

Kat had her head in her hands as she forced herself to continue-''I.. called his dad and brother to help me, I just couldn't get through to him, he just couldn't hear my voice.''

Adam was still mad at her for dating that junky- ''So, when did you ditch the junky?''

she looked up at him angrily- ''Jesus Christ Adam!''

Jay shot him a look and said- ''Shut up!''

Kat focused on Adam to give him his answer- ''The day I left him...was the day I found him comatose on the bathroom floor one morning when I woke up. I..I thought that he was dead, I called his dad... he just wasn't moving.''

''What the hell was he on?'' Jay cringed.

She shrugged- ''From what I gather- anything he could get his hands on.'' she wiped her eyes- ''But I left him, when I promised not to be like the others...I still left him. That made me as bad as the other girls who'd left him... but I just couldn't bare to be the one who found him dead one day.''

Adam could see the guilt that she carried and as much as he tried to understand it, he couldn't-

''Don't you dare feel guilty for leaving him!''

Katarina looked at him- ''Well I do, because 3 weeks later he fails the drug test and got fired. I wasn't strong enough to stay and help him. I left him when he needed me the most!''

He looked at her, wishing he could take her pain away- ''Kitty Kat.'' he said in a soft tone- ''You said it yourself- you couldn't help someone who didn't want to be helped.''

Cody was stunned by Copeland's change of attitude. Jay looked at Katarina and his anger just melted away- ''You could have told one of us.''

She laughed bitterly- ''No, you two showing up like this, showed me that I couldn't have. Hell, I'd rather my mom had found out than you two. She'd have come around in her own time. But you two-'' she looked at them- ''you two are so disappointed in me, I can see it now.''

Jay sighed- ''Kat we're just worried, he was trouble. Just tell me that he never hurt you or tried to get you to take anything.''

''He never hurt me, he loved me. He never tried to get me to take anything either. He..he just scared me that day I saw him off his face.''

Cody held her giving her all the support she needed to continue- ''I..I just imagined him dropping dead in front of me like...like my dad did.''

The three men in the room reacted at once, when she sobbed out her last few words, she clung to Cody, like he was her life line. At 15 Kat had seen her dad die of a brain haemorrhage right in front of her in the kitchen, caused by an unknown head injury. Since then Kat had been scared of losing people. Adam and Jay were so sorry.

Jay looked at his fellow Canadian, then at her- ''We're so sorry for doing this Kat, especially after everything that's gone down lately.''

Adam said to her- ''You could never disappoint me you know, hell you beat the shit out f Amy on live TV, I'm proud as hell of you.''

She managed to smile as she wiped her eyes- ''The bitch needed it.''

''But can I say something?'' Adam bit his lower lip.

Kat saw the nervous gesture- ''Doubt I'll like it,but go ahead.''

''Momma Joy is going to find some way of blaming me for this. Tell her I had no part in it.''

Even Cody had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

Later when Adam and Jay had gone, Kat was sat on the couch writing a response to all the Twitter questions. All she said was- ''It was 2 years ago+private I don't need 2 justify sum1 elses spite.''

Cody had gone back to his room at 10:30 and Kat had just come from the shower, when her phone began ringing. She towelled her hair and picked up her phone and was suddenly very unsure what to do. The caller I.D said- 'Nero.'

On the 4th ring she accepted the call- ''Hello''

''Hey Kat, it's Jeff. I'm glad you've still got this number.'' his voice had that lilt to it, all kinds if memories came flooding back to her.

''Jeff..hi,'' she sat back against the pillows having no idea how to do this.

''Erm...Amy- what a fucking bitch.'' he sighed.

She fought a giggle- ''We always said she was a bitch.''

''I'm sorry that people know...bet that this is the last thing you wanted coming out at this point in your career.''

She could tell from his voice that he thought that she was ashamed- ''Jeff, no, I'm not ashamed of our time together.''

''Really?'' he asked, sounding hopeful.

''Of course- really. We know what we had and we agreed to be discreet together.''

Jeff sat on his bed, in his home in North Carolina and he knew that she was still that amazing, sweet, sexy intelligent girl, that he'd loved with all of his heart. Hell, the reminder of his plans for his future with her still lived in a velvet lined Tiffany & Co box in his night stand.

''Did Adam and Jay kick off?'' he cringed.

''Oh yeah.''

''Fuck, what did the Mountie Patrol do?'' he cringed a second time.

''Big lecture...I..I cried.'' she said honestly.

Jeff just wanted t hold her like he used to- ''Are you ok baby girl?''

''I'm fine, I still need to hear from my mom, but I can't see it being any worse than I've had tonight.''

she replied, then they paused and she had to ask- ''How are you doing Nero''

He smiled, liking the use of his middle name, just like when they had dated- ''I'm good, clean and sober for 2 years now.''

She smiled- ''Great, God I'm so proud of you...can I ask you one question?''

''Sure baby girl, you ask me anything you want.''

''Are you happy?'' she wanted to know if he'd found the peace she'd been unable to bring him.

He sighed- ''I'm happy in my career and I'm painting again.''

''But are YOU happy?''

Jeff was going to be honest with her- ''Sometimes. You can't be happy every day. What about you baby girl, are you happy?''

She thought about Cody and smiled a warm feeling creeping through her entire body- ''Yes I am. I'm actually happy for the first time in a long time.''

Jeff could tell she was smiling- ''I won't pry and ask who, I think I know already.''

''You do?''

''I saw the show, it was pretty obvious to anyone who knows you baby girl.''

''Well then I won't deny anything.''

When they were wrapping up the call, he said- ''I'm sorry for how we...parted..I regret it every day.''

She felt a pang of regret too- ''I..I guess we really needed to clear the air, because I'm sorry for how I left.''

Jeff didn't want her to feel bad- ''No never apologise, you helped me so much, more than you'll ever know. You gave me the motivation to get clean and stay that way, so baby girl never be sorry, it was a gift to me.''

She was a bit over-come by his words- ''It's been good hearing from you Nero.''

Jeff smiled and said- ''Rhodes is probably the luckiest bastard in the world.''

she laughed- ''You bet your ass he is.''

He laughed, God he'd missed that laugh of hers- ''Take care of yourself baby girl, don't make me fly in and check up on you.''

''You too Nero.''

She felt like a weight had been lifted , he didn't blame her, quite the opposite, he was...grateful.

Slipping on her underwear, she pulled on her dad's old shirt and heard a gentle knocking on her door, she checked the soy hole- Cody.

She smiled opening the door and saw him in sweats and an ancient Spiderman T-shirt-

''Can I come in?''

''Dare I ask why?''

''I can't listen to Nick in the next room, he's screwing THE loudest girl they've been at it for over an hour.''

She let him in and said- ''I pray to God that it's not Vickie.''

He smirked and said- ''These stay on.'' he pointed to his sweats- ''Don't try any seduction tricks on me, my mom warned me about them when I was younger.''

She giggled- ''ok, I'll be a good girl, I'll go and put my panties back on then,.''

His already huge blue eyes widened.

Kat laughed at his expression- ''Chill handsome, I'm joking. Anyway, I thought that your da handed out all the sex advice?''

''I think they must have both cornered me that day.''

**AN: Heavy on dialogue but I needed to show what Kat had been plagued by in her head since splitting from Jeff. I wanted to show that Jeff was lonely and still really cared about her. Also Cody had to hear all this and still be cool with it, after all he's liked her long enough!**

**R&R.**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: thank you to all the reviewers and readers it means so much to me to get feed-back. **

**This next little chapter sets up the big part of the story and we get a little bit naughty too. Yey bring on the smut!**

**I only own my ocs**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 8

On Saturday they got on a flight and it was the part of the tour that she was going to enjoy- they were off to Atlanta for the week and this meant Cody's parents 40th anniversary party in a few days.

They'd woken up together at 6am, him spooning her, not an inch between their bodies. It'd been so long since she'd woken up with a man in her bed, she'd forgotten how good it felt to have that warm body beside her, holding her, and the holing felt enough,, she'd just missed the intimacy of it all.

He'd gone back to his room to change and scowl at Nick, that guys sex life should give HIM the sleepless nights not Cody! Especially after what Cody had seen that morning!

Beside each other on the plane, he leaned closer to Kat and said- ''Guess who I saw sneaking out of Nick's bedroom at 6am?''

Kat saw the gleam in his blue eyes and knew when it was BIG gossip-''Ooh tell me.''

He whispered- ''Vickie Guerrero.''

''Eeeeeeew! I'm horrified! I'll continue to be horrified all day!''

Cody laughed at her reaction.

Big Show aka- Paul popped his head over the back of the seat in front on them and grinned that huge white grin of his- ''You ok little lady?''

Paul was the cool uncle to all the younger guys and girls on tour. Kat, Beth and Nattie all called him uncle Paul.

Kat shook her head- ''No, not at all. I want to tear my ears off.''

Cody laughed- ''Sorry baby, think how my ears felt, it sounded like a cat caught in a dryer.''

Paul's eyes went wider- ''you've got to tell me the gossip now.''

Kat leaned closer- ''Nick nailed Vickie last night.''

''NOOOOOO! My ears!'' Paul cringed.

Mark henry chuckled- ''Jesus, I bet that was like a poodle wrestling a rottwieler.''

Nobody could keep a straight face after that.

On screen Paul and Mark were in a bitter feud, but in real life they were good friends, occasionally having to play den-mother to the new nieces and nephews that their jobs had acquired them.

Kat knew that she probably should have told Cody about Jeff calling her, but she really didn't want to, it had been such a personal call, so long over due, she just felt like it should stay between her and Jeff. After all, late night calls form your ex, is frowned upon, this was no exception.

When they landed, Kat and Cody had 2 hours to get ready for a signing. So, they were exhausted before they had even began. A nice touch from Teddy ''Cupid'' Long had given Kat and Cody a-joining rooms.

She kept smiling to herself- no more Amy. The Twitter outing was small change compared to the relief of not having her around any more, ready to fight every second of the day. It gave Adam's face a chance to recover too.

On the way to the signing in the car Kat asked- ''does your mom and dad know about us yet?''

''No not yet. But they love you, it'll be great.''he reassured her, seeing clearly that she was nervous- ''Have you told momma Joy?''

''No, but she's calling at 4 , so I will then.''

Kat was nervous about the whole telling the family part of their new relationship, their dads had been friends for over 20 years. Dusty and Nate were Hall of Fame veterans before Nate's death. Their mothers had been maids of honour at each others weddings. The pressure was definitely going to be felt.

At the signing, Kat hated her publicity shot, it was the one form the page on the Divas calender. The one where she was dressed like an army girl. Well, if the army was based in the Playboy Mansion anyway. Cody had all the luck with his picture, his was a promo shot- god did he look hot in it! No wonder the fan-girls were lined up around the block, he was hot property.

They posed for fan pictures, signed every kind of merchandise the WWE had to offer. One guy had Kat's picture tattooed on his back! By the 3rd hour her hand was killing her. They got be in character for the big Q&A section, they got to flirt with each other and be the ''Dashing Duo'' slating the competition.

They got away at a reasonable hour , in the car on the way back to the hotel, he said- ''You know as we're dating, I should probably take you out on an actual date.''

She saw his adorable dimples and just melted- ''Well, if we must go with tradition, who am I to object.''

He leaned over and kissed her, once again she had the urge to crawl into his lap and get that much closer. At 14 she'd had that powerful urge for the first time, last night it'd been there too. The basic urge to cover his body with hers and dominate him. He had a wonderful effect on her. It made her body shout- 'closer, Closer,CLOSER!'

Yet it hadn't called out when she'd kissed Adam, which was strange seeing as she'd been in love with him for so many years. Yet when it came down to it, she hadn't wanted to go ant further when he'd wanted to. But with Cody, she knew that if he put the moves on her, chances were- they'd end up in bed!

They agreed- he'd pick her up at 9pm and they'd go to the hotel restaurant, then they'd watch a movie in his room/ his side of their connecting door.

Bang on 4pm her mom called-

''Hey baby, start talking.''

Kat sat on the bed, in her robe, hair up in a towel turban- ''Mom, I know how bad it looks, Adam already chewed me out for over an hour last night about it. I don't know what to tell you, I really don't.''

''How about- 'hey mom, I'm dating this guy called Jeff.' You didn't have to do this alone. You're NOT the first girl to fall for a bad boy and want to be the one save him from himself.'' Joy said.

Katarina felt like she was actually being listened to, this was what she'd wanted last night- ''I Couldn't save him, it turned out he had to do the saving.''

''Honey, I'm not going to preach about him being a bad guy, because before I met your father I had my very own Jeff Hardy and I was as the great Tina Turner said- 'A Fool In Love.' Every girl has to go through the bad boy stage, it's part of growing up.''

''Well, can I tell you something to make you smile?''

''You go for it honey.'' Joy urged.

''I'm going on a date tonight.''

''If you say the name Adam Copeland, I'll die. Then I'll rise up again and finally have a legit reason to kill him.''

''Oh God no! It's with...Cody.'' Kat giggled.

Joy laughed- ''Woo-hoo baby! It only took you 12 years to get off your bony butt! Hmm on and off screen, admit it it was those trunks wasn't it?''

''Mom! Oh God, don't say stuff like that.''

Joy chuckled-''Sorry honey,he could be my son in law one day, I'd better show some respect.''

''Shut up, we haven't even had our first date yet!''

''Usually I'd say no sex on the first date, but you've known each other 20 years.'' she teased.

Kat shook her head- ''we're not doing it on the first date!''

''Good girl! Make him work for it!'' Joy teased some more.

''Mom!''

''Sorry sorry, I'll let you get back to your crazy pre-date pampering time, if I recall you in high school it was a 3 hour job.''

Kat was actually nervous about their date, his ex was a stunning blonde with that sexy French accent, what the hell was he doing with a normal girl like her when he'd had a sex siren?

She began freaking out.

Cody was on the phone to Randy, getting some advice, after all Randy was a man of the world, he knew all about women and he was the only one who could talk him down from his panic-

''Cody stop acting like a little girl!'' Randy said trying not to laugh, as he put on his firm voice- ''Don't try to be all smooth and suave, you'll just fuck it up and look like a dick, I know you too well and so does she, she'll see that it's bullshit.''

''Ok, I'll just be myself. What else?''

Randy was grinning- ''Ok, this is a secret guy rule I'm passing on to you here.''

Cody sat on the bed ready to hear the Vipers words of wisdom- ''Ok tell me what you know.''

Randy couldn't cut the grin- ''If you two go dancing and end up back at your room, there are 2 rules you never break, Number 1: Don't go down on her- disco pussy tastes like battery acid-''

Cody was so appalled Randy never got to his second tip, Cody hung up.

Randy was howling with laughter in his room, the younger guy didn't need tips he was a grown man and Randy had enough faith in him, they'd be fine!

Adam had heard from Beth and Nattie about Kat and Cody's date...well he'd been eves dropping at lunch. He went up to her room and wanted to talk.

She'd just dried her hair and had massaged a rich body butter into her skin, when Adam showed up at her door. They didn't say anything as she let him in and she wondered what he had to say.

(Mean while in Raleigh- North Carolina)

Jeff was in his dining room/ studio working on a painting, trying to get it finished, his dog Boo at his side watching him work. He heard a car pull up and Boo went to investigate as usual.

Jeff swiped his purple hair from his brow, that was creased up in complete concentration.

There was a loud knock on the door and Boo began barking her head off. Jeff sighed, putting his paint brush down, not really wanting to stop. If it was Matt or Shannon, he was going to be pissed, they knew not to disturb him when he was working.

He wiped his hands on his paint covered jeans and wife beater, as he walked bare foot to the door. Boo stepped aside and there on the other side of the screen door, on his newly painted white porch was the last person he ever expected to see- ''Amy?''

She got that sneaky smile on her face that he hated- ''Hey Jeff, you and I need to have a little talk.''

(Atlanta)

''Are we actually going to talk?'' Kat inquired after 10 minutes of very uncomfortable silence.

''Give me a minute.'' he requested.

''Copeland, you've had 10 of them, get talking.'' she smirked.

He looked at Kat, in a bath robe, no make-up, hair loose, smelling like that amazing cocoa butter she used on her skin, God this was hard to do! She was in ''Date Prep,'' mode!

''Kitty Kat, I've been an ass for 4 months, especially to you and I...I owe you the biggest apology.''

She hadn't expected that- ''Ads, we both fucked up, we both should have kept our mouths shut that night. I want you to be my friend again and I want to be your friend again too.''

He nodded- ''Me too.''

She gave him a smile that stole his breath away, but he said staring at his hands- ''Kat I get it now, I get why you never told me about Jeff...I made it impossible for you to trust me with that.''

''Ad, just trust me to make my own choices when it comes to Cody.''

''Ok... but if he does anything-''

''Ok Ok, I get it. But don't mess with him momma Joy knows about me and Cody now and she's always loved the idea of me and him. So she'll hurt you if you do anything to him.''

he rolled his eyes- ''She would love him, he's a good guy.''

''She only hates the bad guys.'' Kat teased him.

He narrowed his eyes jokingly- ''Bitch.''

She laughed at him and he smiled at her.

They weren't back to how they had been, pre-Amy, they might never get back there, but this was one step closer.

Beth and Nattie arrived at 7:30 to help her pick an out fit.

Nattie was straightening Kat's long hair, Beth was laying a pair of dark blue, boot cut jeans on the bed and a dark green silk strappy top.

Kat asked- ''Where's Matt these days?''

''Oh God Matt and Zack are at that Zumba class!'' Nattie laughed.

''What?'' Kat had missed something here.

''Oh she's serious, they claim it's full of hot chicks, but I swear they're caught up in Smackdowns biggest Bro-mance.'' Beth said picking out shoes.

''Holy shit! When did this happen?''

''while you were sucking face with your beautiful man- kudos by the way.''Nattie winked.

''It;s so cute. We've already dubbed it- 'Air-Ryder'.'' Beth grinned.

Kat couldn't take it any longer, she had to vent to her girls, so she whispered, due to the bathroom echo and the this wall between her and Cody-

''Jeff called me.''

The 2 blondes were stunned.

''It was last night...it was really nice.''

''Nice?'' Nattie mused- ''did he sound.. you know- loopy?''

Kat rolled her eyes- ''No, he;s been clean for 2 years. We cleared the air.''

Beth's eyes widened- ''Just be very careful. He's probably still a work in progress. I don't want this to come back and bite you.''

Nattie nodded- ''She's right, be careful, he's got issues.''

Kat knew her girls would be supportive- ''I'm nervous about this date.''

''Don't be, you two look so damn cute together, the way you blush at each other is adorable.'' Beth swooned- ''Did you stock up?''

''What?'' Kat frowned, digging through her make up bag for her liquid liner.

''She's talking about condoms.'' Nattie giggled.

Katarina sighed- ''first my mom, now you- NO- because we're not doing it tonight.''

Beth grinned- ''Well, I'm sure Cody has enough, he's the Candy-Man of the Trojan world from what I've heard- he's the – Trojan Man!'

All 3 of them laughed.

Beth, Nattie and Kat might be the scary 'Divas of Doom' on TV, but in reality they were just like giggling school girls. Kat got changed and the joint effort of hair, make up and out fit choice had paid off. The two blondes blotted at fake tears as Kat did a twirl-

''Our little girl is all grown up.'' Beth sighed, hugging Nattie.

Kat shook her head- ''Well mom-1 and mom-2, he'll be here any second.''

No sooner had the words left her mouth and she'd spritzed her J. Lo Glow careful to avoid the scratches on her arm, Cody knocked on the door. Nattie raced to the door and opened it and gasped comically- ''oh my god mom it's that guy off the TV!''

Cody laughed at the Canadian diva and saw Kat was ready to go, she looked so gorgeous.

Kat herded the two blonde Divas out, grabbed her clutch bag and her key card and away they went. Beth called to them- ''Have fun kids, don't do anything I wouldn't do!''

They giggled and Kat called back-

''Hey I still recall what you did with Punk on your first date, so zip it Beth. Don't you laugh miss Neidhart, don't make me remind half the floor about you and Tyson on the Ferris wheel.''

that shut the duo up.

In the restaurant Kat and Cody were seated and it was so romantic- candle light, soft music. They had easy conversation and she was stunned by how gorgeous he looked, in his dark jeans and that crisp white shirt, that made his blue eyes just stand out even more.

They spotted Nick aka- Dolph, romancing a red headed bimbo across the restaurant and Cody grinned- ''this is about to get good.''

Kat saw where Cody was pointing, Vickie had just walked in.

''Uh-oh Nick,'' Kat smirked.

The raven haired cougar stormed over to the canoodling pair- ''Excuse me!'' she screamed.

Nick and ''Red'' looked terrified of the woman.

They saw Vickie throw a plate of something over Nicks head covering his bleached hair in something tomato based, then the cougar rounded on the girl.

''Oh my God , did she just-?'' Cody chuckled into his napkin.

''Yep Vickie just slapped her across the head with a stick of French bread- Oh God she's going for the pizza now!'' Kat gasped.

It was like Jerry Springer!

Security dragged Vickie out, Nick and Red left covered in food reeking of marinara sauce. Cody smirked- ''Nothing like a woman scorned.''

Kat pointed to the scratches up her arm- ''Oh yes I've seen the best of them.''

Over desert- raspberry cheesecake, their favourite, Cody said- ''My dad called and I told him about us.''

He saw he smile and say- ''I told my mom too.''

''Well, he shouted the news to whom I assumed was my mom, then this huge cheer went up- practically my whole family was there.''

Kat saw him blush, she reached over and squeezed his hand- ''Oh, what did you do?''

''Once he'd hushed the room, he told me that it was about time and that there was going to be one hell of a gift basket in my bedroom for when we arrive.''

She saw that he was glowing bright red now- ''Oh..babe it's ok, it can't be as bad as you're imagining it...right?''

Cody shrugged- ''Who knows? But if I see anything in that basket that requires batteries, I'm changing the locks!''

Kat had to laugh he was mortified- ''If there is, I'll never be able to look your dad in the eye again.''

She saw him look over her shoulder and frown, then his big blue eyes flared- ''Am I seeing this?''

''What?''

''Zack and Matt, sharing- what looks like- a candle lit dinner.'' Cody frowned.

Kat discreetly looked over her shoulder at her two friends- yes, there were Mr Air Bourne and Mr Long Island Ice Z gazing into each others eyes, dopey smiles on their faces, she turned to Cody and smiled- ''The days of 'Air-Ryder' have began.''

Cody smiled pleased for the pair- ''Wow, everyone is hooking up.''

After dinner, they went back to his room under the premiss of 'watching a movie.' but they didn't make it past the opening titles before they were kissing on the couch. Which lead to kissing in the bedroom.

Kat didn't intend on going all the way, but she was going to give him something very nice.

In just her black bra and thong, she kissed down his perfect chest, down his chiselled abs, feeling them flex beneath her tongue and lips. Her nails gently grazed up his sides causing him to let out the most delicious moan she'd ever heard. This man had the body of a god, every inch of his skin, every freckle, every little scar, was perfect in her eyes.

She teasingly stroked up his solid smooth thighs, his skin was beautiful,so soft and golden brown. Those thighs of his were parted for her as she sat between them.

Letting her mouth explore his body at her pace, inch by inch. She knew he was getting very agitated with the depth of his arousal now,because his once steady breathing was becoming fractured and erratic, she slowly moved up from his abs, looked into his eyes, so darkened by arousal, she kept eye contact as she stroked him through the fabric of his boxers. Loving the sight of his eyes rolling back and the hiss that escaped from between his full lips, he bit down on his lower lip as she stroked again.

She was so turned on just watching him, she straddled his hips, leaned forward and kissed him, slow and deep, his big warm hands trailing down her sides causing goose bumps to flair to life all over her exposed body, his hands slid around her hips and she whispered against his moist lips-

''how much do you want me Cody?''

He took one of her hands in his, feeling suddenly very bold and beyond the need to feel shy any longer, placed her hand on his heavy arousal and kissed her, then said in a throaty whisper- ''That's how much I want you.''

They got rid of his boxers and Kat returned to her position between his muscular legs, she had been right he was just perfect everywhere- long, thick and beautiful. She ran her fingers up his full length then back down, Cody's hips bucked off the bed at the contact. She leaned down running her tongue over the tip softly, his fingers rubbed her shoulder as she circled him with her tongue taking in the heavenly unique taste that was all him.

She oh so slowly took him into her mouth, one hand going around the base of him and her other hand gently massaging his balls. He groaned loudly, letting her know that he liked what she was giving him. She knew if he liked this then he'd love her other tricks.

Cody looked down at his beautiful girlfriend, as she teased him and took him to the stars, god she was so good. He moved her long hair out of the way, he had to see this, as well as feel it. She looked up at him, as she worked on him, he nearly blew his load when she winked up at him. It was so sexy!

Then she sank her mouth all the way down him, he felt his legs begin to shake, Cody was losing it- she was deep throating him! He'd never had that before, and it was beyond his wildest dreams, this girls was a gift from God!

Kat wanted to make this as hot as possible and Cody had the most perfect cock she'd ever seen. Ok it was more difficult to take , because of his size, but once she was relaxed she was fine and she gave him all the adoration he deserved, with every trick she knew. She could feel that Cody was close, so she drew on his throbbing flesh even more and felt him twitch and begin to lose control-

''Kat baby, I'm..I'm gonna cum!''

Cody wondered if she'd stop, but she just squeezed his thigh to let him know that she'd heard and just carried on. He had her long hair wrapped around his fist, the pother was clutching the pillow beneath his head. His entire body felt like it was on fire, then it just exploded, the air was stolen from his lungs as he came hard into her beautiful, talented mouth. She wasn't done yet, he eventually saw past the flashing light s in his eyes and watched her lick him clean, it was one of the hottest things he'd ever seen in his 26 years.

Releasing her hair from his trembling hand, so it fell all around her, he used his remaining strength to pull her up his body, her small weight resting on him. He speared his long fingers into her hair and claimed her full, swollen lips. Tasting himself on her tongue, combining beautifully with the sweetness of her mouth.

He said against- ''It's your turn now Kitty Kat.''

**AN:Hope that was ok more smut to come (no pun intended) but just a teaser for now. Damn that Amy is a crafty bitch, I warned you to watch out for Jeff, keep that in mind ;)**

**R&R**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: thank you for reviewing I'm always so happy when I see that someone has taken the time to review, means so much to me.**

**Hope you like the update.**

**I only own my ocs.**

**R&R**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 9

Cody woke up the next morning and smiled instantly, recalling the previous nights events, that lead up to his beautiful girlfriend lying naked in his arms. While they hadn't had sex, they'd done plenty of other stuff and his mouth watered just remembering it.

He kissed down her arm, seeing her stir, he moved and his mouth closed over one perfect pink nipple and he ran his teeth over it. When he heard her moan, he saw those huge green eyes flutter open, his hand skimmed down her toned stomach, the muscles flexing slightly under his touch, the he trailed his fingers lower. This was how he wanted to wake her every morning. Pretty soon his lips took over what his fingers had began.

Katarina hadn't been woken up like this since...No not a time to think...just to feel. She had her legs over his muscular shoulders and her toes were nipping at the skin on his back, her fingers driven into the short soft fibres of his hair, keeping him close. This guy was a genius with his mouth.

Last night he'd made her cum to the point where she couldn't speak, she was so messed up. She was a shaking, hyperventilating ball of emotion, clearly Cody liked her that way, because he got her that way again and again and again.

The second she came, the bedroom door opened-

''Hey Code-Man, can I lend a hat- OH FUCK ME!''

There stood Nick, his peroxide hair stained orange, jaw open, then the door slammed shut, all they could hear was him fleeing the room very quickly.

The amorous pair were laughing too much to be embarrassed .

In the dining room of the hotel, Nick was wearing one of Jays beanies to cover his ruined hair, he'd have to get it re-bleached, shampoo was not shifting it. Damn Vickie!

He grabbed pancakes from the breakfast buffet and sat with the others.

They saw that he was in a mood, ignoring it until Randy asked-

''Nick, Cody not up yet?''

''Oh he's up.'' nick said stabbing his food.

''he eating in his room?' Randy inquired.

Nick gulped noticeably- ''you could say that.'' he then shuddered, looking more than slightly disturbed.

Everyone frowned at him, he said to all the curious faces- ''Not only have I got hair the colour of fucking Sunny D, I also had to see Runnels with Kat's legs wrapped around his neck- this is NOT my day!''

Beth and Nattie let out a big cheer from the next table, glad that their girl was finally getting some.

Jay saw Adam's face drop, the guy looked like ha was about to throw up!

Kat and Cody showered together and headed to the arena, to go over their moves in the ring with Eve and Kofi Kingston. On Friday the ''Dashing Duo'' had their first tag match and they were set to win. So this was great news. Kat showed Eve how to set her up for the 'Kiss The Dirt' – KTD, the move Kat won with.

Eve might have been at WWE longer than Kat, but eve was still in awe of her opponent, every time you saw her in the ring she brought her A-game and you always remembered what she did. That girl was truly going to be one of the greatest Divas to grace WWE.

You looked at her and thought there was no way that she could be as strong as Beth and Natalya, WRONG! She was, Kat could easily have been a bitch, using her skills to be top bitch, but no- Kat was a sweetheart.

Kat watched Cody and couldn't keep the smirk from her lips, recalling the steamy shower action form that morning made her chuckle to herself.

Eve smirked- ''keep grinning like that and they'll cart you off.''

Kat shook her head trying to stop, as her cheeks glowed- ''I can't help it.''

''Nick can hardly speak, he's so weirded-out.''

Kat cringed- ''Well he did just barge in.''

''Been there, when I dated Jake- Jack Swagger, Nick had to learn the hard way then too, he saw everything and I do mean everything. It took him 2 months to be able to look me in the eye again.''

''Well, thankfully I didn't catch Nick at it, I'd never have mentally recovered form that horror show.''

''Eew! Vickie's granny panties, hanging from a light fitting!'' Eve cringed.

Kat laughed- ''Well Cody heard them going at it. The only description he could give was- 'cat caught in a dryer' the girls a screamer.''

(Raleigh, North Carolina)

Jeff was just getting back from walking Boo, what Amy had said to him was still spinning around in his head. He knew he was just a pawn in her game of hurting Edge and Kat, but she had made one interesting point- Adam and Kat had entered both of their lives- had their fun and then split when the road got rocky.

After Amy had said that to him she'd handed over the Smackdown touring schedule with the North Carolina dates heavily underlined the sly bitch! Jeff knew that Amy wanted him to go in for some ''revenge'' on Katarina Blackmore. Ok Jeff knew that he was a little ''off'' in a quirky way, but did he really have it in him to hurt her?

Especially when Amy had told him that Kat still had feelings for him.

Yes, part of him resented her for leaving him when and how she did, but the other part of him just adored her...hmm love and hate, so similar...food for thought.

(Atlanta)

Friday- Smackdown.

Kat had two matches that night, her tag match with Cody Vs Kofi Kingston and Eve, but before that, Kat was up against Alicia Fox. Kat was set to win, but it'd be an interesting match, Alicia was one of Amy's very few friends at WWE and Kat knew Foxy would be keeping tabs on her in Amy's stead.

Cody accompanied her to the ring and knew that he had to keep a close eye on his girl in this match, because she was probably going to get hurt if Alicia had anything to do with things, he had to be vigilant.

Kat waited for the bell to sound and when it did they were off. Foxy threw her elbow into Kat's cheek, it instantly caused a rush of blood to Kat;s tongue from her cheek. Alicia gave off her cocky smile and did that arrogant hair fluffing thing that she did.

Katarina knew that they were fighting dirty now, so the gloves came off, did this bitch know who'd trained her? Two of the craftiest competitors to ever grace WWE, this bitch was for it now!

Michael Cole, Booker T and Jerry 'The King' Lawler were loving it, especially when Alicia threw Kat over the top rope, while screaming- ''THIS IS FROM LITA!''

But,living up to her name- Kat miraculously landed on her feet, in front of the commentators table.

Booker was cheering Kat on- ''This girl is agile, skilled and beautiful that's a Diva baby!''

Lawler said- ''Alicia fox is dishing out some revenge for her friend Lita right here!''

Michael Cole was on his feet- ''LOOK AT THIS KAT'S GOT FOXY!''

Kat dragged the other Diva by the ankles from the ring, picked her up and did the 'KTD' on the mats, the blood in her mouth making her feel sick and that just made her madder than ever.

She walked over to the commentators table , wild eyed and the second she began tearing the monitors from the table, the crowd just went berserk. But Kat was in the zone, she could hear nothing but her heartbeat and feel nothing but the pain in her face.

The three commentators got up from their chairs quickly to avoid the on-coming devastation.

Cole cheered- ''GO KAT!''

Booker said- ''That wild side is out and it's fighting time!''

Lawler said- ''Miss Fox didn't know what she was doing when she made this personal!''

Kat picked Alicia up, jumped up and slammed her flat on to the commentators table,she stood over her opponent and shouted- ''TELL LITA THAT IS FROM ME!''

Kat got the girl back in the ring before the count out, she shot a wink at Cody, who looked both amazed and scared, Kat thought it was hot as hell!

Cole said- ''Kat is on fire and look Fox is standing.''

''WOAH WOAH- what's Kat setting up for?'' Booker yelled.

They saw her get in the opposite corner of the ring and crouch down, back to the turn buckle.

''She isn't!'' Lawler bawled- ''she is- SPEAR!''

The crowd went wild! No Divas match had had this reaction since the Attitude era. She'd used Edge and Christians iconic move and pinned for the win.

Cody leapt into the ring and threw her arm up for her standing ovation, he saw her smile and Kat was back with him , that wild girl was back in her cage. But he also noticed blood at the corner of her lip, he kissed her cheek and in character, they both sneered at the fallen Foxy. Kat bent down and said in her ear- ''I took Amy out, just tell me when you want to go another round Barbie doll and I'm there.''

She took Cody's offered hand and they left the ring to massive cheers and fans proudly wearing her 'Kat Army' shirts, with the red cat scratches down the sleeves and the cracked red writing on the black shirt, it made her so proud.

Once they were back stage, Jay pulled her into a massive hug- ''You were incredible Kitty Kat! That was by far your best match ever!''

Kat smiled hugging him back, her cheek aching like hell- ''Thanks Jay Jay.''

Adam smirked at her when Jay released her- ''Spear huh?''

Kat nodded, she could read him like a book, he felt left out of the hugging, so when she moved closer to him, he looked surprised and when she hugged him, he really hugged her back.

Adam couldn't contain the pride he'd felt seeing her out there doing their move, he said in her ear-

''Your father would be so proud of you Kitty Kat, God he would be hoisting you upon his shoulders like you 8 years old again.''

Kat smiled and nodded holding her cheek- ''He's always with me though.'' she held the dog tags she'd reclaimed from the ref after the match and kissed his Hall of Fame ring.

Adam nodded, knowing they entered every match with her.

Cody knew that this was a big moment for his girlfriend, they were healing a massive rift and as much as he disliked the fact that Adam would make a move on Kat at the drop of a hat, he had to respect her choice to keep Adam as a friend, after all he'd been in her life for a long time.

In the locker room Kat was tending to her mouth as Eve and Kofi joined them, then Beth and Nattie. Kat's tongue was bleeding from where she'd bit it, her cheek was bitten inside too, so the right side of her mouth was raw. She rinsed it out with strong mouth wash, which was agony and she very carefully chewed a stick of gum.

Beth and Nattie, were loving her new rage- ''You do realise you're on the path to legendary Diva status, you're one of the very few Divas to put another one through the commentary table.'' Beth was ecstatic.

Nattie was just as buzzed- ''And that Spear! What's next an RKO?''

''Randy would kill me if I stole that.'' she grinned.

Cody was so proud of her, he kissed her softly- ''You were incredible. Just waiting for you to use 'Cross Rhodes' on someone.''

''On a Diva or Superstar?'' Kat inquired.

''Either, I don't mind.'' he grinned, flashing her those dimples she loved so much.

The thought of her using his move was pretty much the hottest thing she could do for him in the ring.

''Well, then you have my full permission to use a few of my moves too.'' she winked.

''I'm all for trying a 'KTD' think I'll leave the 'Ladder' for you babe.''

Kat saw Eve sat in the corner looking very worried- ''you ok sweetie?''

Eve laughed nervously- ''You're gonna kill me out there.''

Kat sat beside the Diva and took her hand- ''Sweetie, I'm not going to hurt you at all.''

''Promise?'' Eve asked smirking at the younger brunette.

''I promise, I only hurt the ones dumb enough to make it personal.''

Once they were at the ring, Cody and Kofi kicked things off, she stayed on the corner, cord in hand, encouraging Cody and not having to censor the use of the word 'baby' thank god for that romantic story line! She got tagged in and Eve did too, they traded blows and whipped Kat into the turn buckle then ran at her again, Kat did a kick that Jay had dubbed 'The S.M' after Shawn Michaels. Eve was on the mat on lunged for Kofi getting the tag. Kat tagged in Cody.

The match was going well, but Kat wondered what else Amy was going to throw at her, it was like the bitch was haunting her!

Cody knew that Kat was an incredible wrestler, so not to let the side down, he pulled of a Superplex from the top rope and got the biggest cheer that he'd gotten in a while. Since he was a heel and his character was a vain, jerk, he got booed a lot, clearly teaming up with Kat had made him more...likeable?

Kat got tagged in and Kat saw that Eve slipped and knocked her shoulder, so when she was down on the mat, Kat said in her ear- ''Stay down, no 'KTD' I'm going high flyer, stay down.''

On commentary Cole was on his feet for the 100th time that night as Kat climbed the ropes- ''oh she's going up top!''

Lawler said- ''This girl is- YES she's-''

In mid air, so high up she did that big 360 degree turn.

Cole yelled- ''SHOOTING STAR PRESS!''

Booker cheered-''That was BEAUTIFUL!''

1,2,3- Win.

Lillian said- ''And your winners are- 'The Dashing Duo' of Cody Rhodes and Kat Black!''

Back stage Kat took Eve to the trainer and stayed with her until she got the all clear.

Cody and his lady-love got the quickest showers and then they had to haul ass, they had a 10pm flight to catch to get to his home town. They were meeting up with Smackdown on Monday in North Carolina in Charlotte for the house shows. But the big Smackdown broadcast was going to be in Raleigh!

To say Kat was wary was an understatement, that place had memories, some great, some not so great. But if she saw him, she could hardly ignore him, not after that phone call.

They got their flight, it was short so they had no chance to sleep, when they landed they got a cab to his house and they were exhausted. Half asleep, they dragged their cases up to his bedroom. As they were a couple now, this would be the first time she was a guest and not using the guest room.

He put the bedroom lights on and his mom had been by, there was crisp white bedding on his huge bed, towels on the en-suite, fresh flowers in the window and she'd returned- Stan Lee his pug dog. He was laid asleep in his dog bed over by the door. Then there it was, a rather innocent looking shiny white box with a big black satin bow around it. Oh crap- his dad had really done it!

Kat saw Cody's beautiful face cringe, he picked up the box and booted it under the bed and mutter something about his interfering dad. She went over to him, seeing that his grumpy look was firmly in place and he'd never looked cuter to her. She slipped her arms around his waist- ''We don't even have to open it.''

He kissed the top of her head.

She shot him a smile when she saw that he'd stopped frowning- ''Or of that party goes like the last one did, we could end up tearing into that box like two kids at Christmas.''

Cody laughed at her dirty grin- ''Are you serious?''

''Baby, once we lock those doors, it's just me and you, it's private, nobody else will know.''

Cody did have a curiosity to him when it came to sex, he'd tried pretty much everything that didn't scare him and clearly Kat was ready to take that step with him.

To some it would seem quick, but they had known each 20 years and he was falling for her hard, more and more every day. They shared a hotel room now and everyone accepted it. Ok Edge looked like he'd aged 10 years since he'd found out, but Cody wasn't responsible for that guys mistakes. He'd had his shot, and he'd blown it in a spectacular way!

They went to bed and slept soundly, only to be woken at 10am, by someone knocking on his front door. Cody got up very reluctantly, followed by Stan. He was only in boxers and a wife-beater, he opened the door, yawning, seeing his mom and grandma.

''Cody honey, welcome home.'' his mom hugged him, then his grandma too.

He let them in and Stan scampered into the garden.

''Where's Katarina?'' his mom smiled eagerly.

''Still sleeping, she's exhausted.''

''Busy night?'' Elaine smirked.

He didn't rise to the teasing he just rolled his eyes, there'd be so much more of it to come that day, so he went and put the kettle on and got the cups ready-

''She had 2 matches last night, she's practically carrying the Divas division with Beth and Natalya. We've been doing signings and press all week.'' he said rubbing his eyes.

They sat at the table in his pristine white kitchen, over looking the lake as Stan investigated the ivy bush.

''The family can't wait to see her.'' his grandma smiled.

Cody nodded- ''She can't wait to see them either.''

''when does Joy get in?'' Elaine asked.

''1pm, but she's got a train at 8pm, the restaurant is too busy for her to be away too long.'' Cody replied.

Upstairs Katarina could hear Elaine and grandma Runnels aka- Ruby, she found her tooth brush, her make up and sorted her hair and got ready to see her family...whoa had she just called them _her_ family?

Who was she kidding? They had been her family for 20 years!

Elaine and Ruby saw Cody's face when Katarina came down the stairs- he was in love! Finally! It's happened, he'd opened his heart up again and let in the right girl this time.

Cody smiled, he couldn't help it, she just looked gorgeous. Her long hair all pinned up, her bangs swept over one eye, hiding the small bruise her cheek had from Alicia, she was in white skinny jeans, black Converse, a Joan Jett 'Crimson and Clover' black tank top and light make up, still she looked utterly stunning.

''Morning.'' she smiled, full of cheer.

Elaine and ruby were on their feet in no time, even his grandma who was 85 years old, they hugged her and were full of chat. Cody loved how she loved his family...yes he LOVED Kat, he had since they were 14! Now no blonde French chicks or blonde Canadians stood in their way!


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: This chapter is a big change and lets just say that it takes Kat's mothers words to make her open her eyes finally.**

**Hope you like it.**

**Thank you for all the amazing reviews, it helps so much when I'm writing to know that people are liking this little story of mine.**

**It's all planned out now, 2 or 3 chapters to go and it'll be complete. I do plan on a sequel, so keep an eye out ;)**

**I only own my ocs.**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 10

Joy arrived at 1:20pm and everyone was at the party, in the garden of the Runnels family home. Joy went and placed her gift on the table with the others and was getting caught up with Dusty and Elaine, who were full of excitement about Cody and Katarina. They kept talking about how perfect they looked together and how much they had been destined to be together all along.

Joy was happy too, well until she saw her daughter, the look on her face set alarm bells ringing very loudly, Kat was stressed, the smiles were fake and all anyone could talk about was- when the pair would move in together, get married and have beautiful babies!

Cody was smiling but for all Joy knew he might be faking it too for a happy life and less ear ache from his pushy family. But Joy saw her girl knock back her drink and knew that it was time for her to intervene.

At the gazebo, Joy sat Katarina down-

''Baby, you need to talk to me.''

Kat looked at her mom, full of confusion, having no clue where to start- ''Oh hell mom...I think..fuck- I've only been with him for a short time and they've got all these expectations already. Is this how my life could be? Jesus! They talked about me giving up wrestling and Cody said nothing, would he expect that?''

Joy had only seen her daughter like this once before and it'd scared the shit out of her. Kat had basically had a break down and the only person had gotten through to her...and it was the one person Joy couldn't stand- Adam.

''Katarina I'm going to ask you something and I want the truth ok?''

Kat nodded.

Joy looked at her and asked- ''Will you ever love Cody the way that you love Adam?''

It was a heartbreaking question and she felt the tears prickling her eyes- ''I..I want to...but how do you stop loving your first love?''

Joy sighed- ''Life's a pain in the ass that way. You've got to ask yourself- do you really want to stop loving Adam?''

''I wanted to, because of Amy...then Cody comes along he's this sweet, gorgeous and you approve of him too.''

Joy looked at Kat and noticed her shirt- Joan Jett 'Crimson and Clover' and smirked, lighting a cigarette, flicking her perfectly high-lighted dark, layered hair off her shoulder- ''See that shirt you're wearing- you've taken it everywhere with you since you were 21, because Adam bought you it.'' Joy said, drawing on the cigarette- ''You know why I can't stand that man don't you?''

''Because he's a slut.'' Kat said scuffing her Converse on the gazebo floor.

Joy laughed at her daughters words- ''Partly, but mainly because I always had this gut feeling that when you fell for him, it'd hurt you, he'd hurt you and as you were so close you'd never be able to get away from it clean. I never wanted you to go through what I had to with your dad.''

''What?'' Kat had always pictured her parents having the perfect romance, they'd always looked so happy together.

Joy nodded- ''Nate was a heart breaker and he had women lining up, but when I fell for him it was great love. No amount of decoy attractions of bad boys or seemingly perfect pretty-boys would ever measure up. So, when your dad noticed me, it was like a sick fear, I could hardly let him touch me.''

Kat gulped- that sounded familiar, she'd practically thrown Adam from the couch when the issue of sex had come up.

Joy read her little girls face- ''Sounds familiar huh? As much as it kills me to say this- and it does baby- Adam loves you. Baby I saw it at your 21st birthday. Hell, the guy sang to you!''

(Flash back- Kat's 21st birthday- Tampa)

Joy had agreed to let Adam and Jason throw Katarina a 21st birthday party at a club, on one condition- they did it when the Smackdown tour passed through Tampa.

The pair had agreed and Joy's restaurant had catered the party and Joy had made the cake herself.

Joy had watched Adam take over the cocktail bar and create a lurid green concoction, that he'd dubbed the 'A-Bomb' and everyone had began drinking them and getting very merry. Then Adam had taken Kat by the hand and lead her to the centre of the dance floor.

Joy had watched as he'd said down a microphone acquired from the DJ-

''Everyone, I'm going to do something I swore I'd never do- sing in public!''

The cheer had gone up from all the WWE stars and friends present. Kat had shook her head at the tall, gorgeous guy. Joy had seen Kat's face as the music had began, it was one of her favourite songs. Adam had her hand in his as he began singing to her-

''_Ah, I don't hardly know her,_

_but I think I could love her_

_Crimson and Clover_

_Ah, now when she comes walking over_

_and I've been waiting to show her_

_Crimson and Clover_

_Over and over''_

Joy had seen it in his eyes- love.

Then Kat had given him a sexy smirk that'd made Joy's mother-gene kick in, the urge to protect her baby raged within her. Kat took the microphone from Adam sat him on the edge of the stage and perched herself on his lap and began singing to him-

_''Yeah, my-my such a sweet thing_

_wanna do everything_

_what a beautiful feeling_

_Crimson and Clover_

_Over and over,''_

They sang together, cheek to cheek, his big, strong arms around Kat's small waist, him gently rocking her against his chest-

_''Crimson and Clover- Over and Over_

_Crimson and Clover- Over and Over.''_

Adam had laid a kiss on Kat's lips, not passionate, but soft and lingering. Joy knew that her daughter and Adam were bound and they would never be fully free of each other.

(Present Day)

Katarina touched the shirt and smiled at the memory of them singing. He'd actually had a great voice, very sexy and it'd done things to her she'd never felt before or since. She looked across the garden and saw Cody talking to his cousins and felt like a total bitch-

''He's perfect, I should be mentally planning my wedding like the rest of his family seem to be doing.''

Cody was freaking out!

He was sick of answering probing questions about him and Katarina's relationship, yes she was perfect for him, but he wasn't ready for marriage...or kids...or moving in together. This pressure was insane, especially when she was still dealing with her feelings for Adam Copeland.

He hated it, but part of him knew that she would never get over him, they fought- there was chemistry. They teased- chemistry again! He was mentally kicking his own ass here, but he didn't want to get in any deeper if she wasn't going to be there with him.

He looked over to where she was sat with her mom, Kat did NOT look happy at all. Fuck, this was going to be bad! He excused himself from his cousins and went over to them. Joy gave him a weak smile as she stood, she lay a hand on his shoulder- ''Time to talk Cody sweetheart.''

''Thanks Joy.''

Kat saw her mom retreating and looked up at Cody and knew straight away that she wasn't the only one effected by the past 3 hours. She let out a gentle sigh- ''Guess we need to talk huh?''

He nodded- ''Today has been pretty bad for both of us and I have to know something before this goes too far.''

Kat nodded staring down at her feet- ''Sure.''

''You'll never be over him will you?''

She knew 'him' was Adam and if he was being honest she owed him the same- ''He's part of my life and he always will be Cody.''

Cody nodded hurting- ''I thought so. Do I at least get to keep you as a friend?''

She felt tears in her eyes and she put an arm around him- ''Of course you do! We've got a tag team belt to claim in the near future, we'd suck if we hated each other.''

Cody wiped his eyes and laughed- ''Sounds like a plan.''

''I'm sorry.'' she said softly.

He looked at her- ''Don't be, at least we tried right? Ok he's an undeserving ass but.. you'll be able to beat that out of him in no time.''

She laughed.

They hugged.

At 8pm Kat was on an over night train to North Carolina.

On Sunday Jay saw Kat enter the hotel lobby while he was having breakfast with everyone- this wasn't good, she was back a day early without Cody.

''oh shit.'' he sighed.

Adam, Beth, Nattie, Matt and Zack looked up and saw Kat with her suit case and bag at reception, getting checked in. Jay got up and threw his napkin down and walked out to her.

Kat got checked in, got her key and turned to see Jay stood there, his blue eyes full of concern for her- ''You're early Kitty Kat.''

She nodded- ''I got a train out of Marietta last night.''

Jay nodded- ''Was it bad?''

she shook her head- ''Not bad, just..we both knew something stood in the way.''

''That something wouldn't be a 6ft4 stubborn jerk boring holes into my back right now would it?''

She smiled at Jay, his smirk did her in- ''yes.''

''Well, it'll be killing him not knowing why you're back.''

Katarina chuckled, knowing he was almost as bad as Vickie when it came to being nosey- ''He's a big boy, he can come over and ask me himself.''

she looked past Jay, seeing that Adam was frowning, trying to do that lip-reading thing he hadn't come close to mastering yet. That bogus skill of his had once lead him to believe that Mark henry was talking smack about him, when Mark had been simple asking someone something perfectly innocent, it'd lead to Adam nearly getting his ass kicked by the huge guy.

She stuck her tongue out at him, he clearly fought laughter as he narrowed his amazing green eyes at her. There it was, that feeling her mom had confessed to feeling- that fear, the terrifying rush of love and bone crushing panic.

Jay asked making sure he had his back to Adam- ''You ever going to tell him?''

''I'm a ''cock tease'' remember.'' she arched one brow at him.

They headed to the elevators- ''He didn't mean that, he's just got a big mouth and ego.''

''I know.''

He put her on the elevator with her bags and said- ''Just talk to him about it some time and listen to him ok?''

''I promise.''

Jay headed back to the dining room and saw all the eager faces. It was Adam who asked first-

''So where's Rhodes?''

''still in Marietta. She left last night on the train.'' Jay replied.

''Did they spilt?'' Beth gasped, nearly choking on the apple she'd just bitten into.

Jay nodded.

Adam growled- ''I'll kill him!''

Jay rolled his eyes- ''Calm the fuck down Kujo, she's fine. He didn't dump her it was mutual, they're staying friends.''

Nattie and Beth knew that their fellow Diva would need some time to get herself settled. So they didn't rush up to her room.

Up in her room Kat had just laid down on her bed when her phone vibrated in her hoodie pocket, she picked it out, it was a text from Cody- '

'Hi Kat hope U got 2 Charlotte safely

my mom+dad r blaming me 4 their

hangovers- they jumped in the

lake 2gether!''

Kat laughed- Go Dusty and Elaine!

She sent-

''Hi Coddles! I'm safe+sound

sounds like a new Runnels tradition has started .lol.''

She was glad now that she hadn't gone all the way with Cody, as beautiful as it probably would have been, it wouldn't have been for love and she'd made a promise to herself when she was in her early teens, that when it came to sex, if it wasn't for love, it wasn't for her. She couldn't play fast and loose like other people could.

Jay had been worried about Kitty Kat, after the Lita and Alicia fights, they were so brutal, angry and real. He'd thought Katarina was having another break down. She'd had one when she was 23, after she won her first Divas championship. The pressure, the expectations, Adam hadn't helped, he'd been dating that blonde bimbo Mina or Nina- right under Kat's nose. She'd spent 3 weeks on leave, Teddy Long had said that it was an injury and only Jay and Adam knew other wise. She'd shut herself away in her home in Tampa not letting anyone in, only Adam, when ever he was able to get to her side.

Jay didn't want to see their Kitty Kat like that again, he knew that they got over-bearing with her and they interfered, but it all came from a caring place. They just worried, seeing her lost made them see that they could only do so much for her. Feeling helpless just reeked of weakness to them and they weren't weak men.

Adam refused to be patient, he walked out of the dining room on a mission, he had no idea what room she was in, so he found out at reception and then he was bounding up the stairs not having time to wait for the damn elevator. Times like this he was grateful for his long legs.

Kat had her ipod on the speaker dock and was singing along with Joan Jett when the knock on the door came, she opened it and there stood Adam, looking exhausted-

''What's wrong with you? You look like hell.''

''Well thank you.'' he huffed- ''can I come in?''

She nodded and in he came.

He heard the song and smiled, it was THEIR song, he looked at her- ''It's years since I've heard this song.''

''I love this song so much.'' she smiled.

''I know, why else do you think I broke out the mic-skills at your 21st?''

She grinned- ''You were great, who knew Edge could sing?''

''Think you out-sang me there.''

They sat on the bed, reliving the memory.

''So you came back alone.''

They were both sat Indian style on the bed, channelling their inner CM Punk, facing each other. She nodded- ''That I did.''

''Did he do something? Jay said it was mutual, but I want you to tell me .''

''It wasn't going to work, he knew it, I knew it. We got out before we went too far.''

Adam didn't mean to blurt out his next words, but as he usually did- the mouth engaged before the brain- ''But you've already slept with him.''

Kat blushed and shook her head- ''No, we shared a bed and messed around, we never had sex I swear.''

He saw her flushed cheeks, he should have known better, she didn't just jump into things like sex, she was truly one of the good girls- ''Sorry, I'm...''

''An idiot?'' she smirked.

''No!'' he frowned- ''I was going to say that I'm glad you didn't do that with him.''

She frowned- ''What?''

''Because I'd have had to kick his ass!''

''No ass kicking required, hell you've seen me in the ring- I'd do it myself.'' she winked, loving seeing that big smile of his, handsome bastard! - ''But...when we get to Raleigh...I just have this gut feeling.''

''Kat you don't need to worry, he won't be there, like I'd let anything happen to you.''

''Promise?''

''Promise.'' he confirmed.

For the first time in a very long time the pair just lay on her bed, listening to music, talking about their favourites, singing, deciphering lyrics and sharing odd little bits of musical knowledge. At one point they'd began holding hands while singing along to Kiss, it just felt natural, neither of them let go, they just let it be.

That was the strangest and most beautiful thing about their pre-Amy days, just spending hours like this, just needing the music and nothing else.

''Best live gig ever?'' he asked.

''When we saw the Faith No More reunion tour when it came through San Francisco. Or when we saw Kiss in Vegas.''

He laughed- ''Those are probably my favourites too, you git hit on by Gene Simmons!''

''Ooh jealous?'' she teased.

''As it's Gene- YES!'' he joked- ''Most special gig?''

Kat sighed- ''when you took me to see Prince at Coachella in 2008 and he did the cover of Radiohead ''Creep'' it was a perfect moment in time. One man, a spot light, the guitar playing- perfection.''

''You cried.'' he said softly.

She nodded- ''It was incredible and it just...was. Just us at the side of the stage.''

He remembered, she'd been stood in front of him, his arms wrapped around her tightly, her head just under his chin, her fingers stroking over his hands, it'd been the perfect night.

He looked at her, those bright green eyes, that saw into his very soul, he raised their inter-locked fingers and kissed her fingers oh so gently.

To his surprise, she curled up around him, her head just under his chin, her fingers twined with his, then the act he'd missed most of all- her free hand twirling and playing with his hair.

She felt scared of this closeness, but she needed it, even if it only happened this once, she needed this.

All she had to do now was survive Raleigh and hope to god nothing happened and that her gut feeling was wrong about that city.

Life wasn't that cruel.

Right?

**AN: that bit where he sings to her on her 21****st**** actually happened to me on my 21****st**** to that very song weird but true. R&R.**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Thank you so much for the great reviews they mean so much to me. Now it's time to get to Raleigh and cause some trouble ;) Think my #1 reviewer/ 'Crimson & Clover' appreciator will like the post match section of the chapter. Enjoy. R&R.**

**I only own my ocs.**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 11

The house shows went really well that week, when Cody returned it wasn't weird or awkward for either of them. They'd told Teddy Long the situation and he'd promised to phase out the romantic side of their story line.

Also, Beth got to go up against Alicia Fox. Natalya and Kat joined her after her impressive win and went all 'Divas of Doom' and made Foxy cry like a little girl.

Kat and Kaitlyn were up for the big Divas match on Friday in Raleigh and the pair wanted to make it a great match. So, they had spent every waking hour practising like hell. Kat liked the Diva and all the girls who were serious about wrestling were truly pulling together and wanting to get the Divas division out of the gutter where it had been slumped for too long. The girls were wanting to make their matches as jaw dropping as possible now. The days of the Bra and Panties matches were being wiped out by 'Pin-Up-Strong' matches!

Kaitlyn thought Kat was incredible and even though Kat was set to win, it'd be so great getting out there with her, she didn't mind losing. They'd put together some incredible stuff.

Adam and Kat were getting closer and she could face up to the fact that he was trying so hard to make up for their really bad 4 months. He was the old Adam again, the one she knew and loved.

On the bus to Raleigh, that morning at the UN-Godly hour- in Adam's eyes- of 8am. He was sat with Kat, while Jay snored across the isle from them, under a blanket, that Kat had dubbed it- The Blankie, because it did pop up time after time and he never let anyone else near it.

''So you got anything going on after the show?'' he inquired.

''No, nothing planned.'' she replied, seeing the way he got that smirk on his face and it made her smirk too.

''Well, how about we go for a drink, just you and me?'' Adam wanted to be alone with her and maybe...if he had the courage to...ask her to go out on a date with him.

''Lets go for a drink then.'' she smiled, then he gave her a blinding smile, that nearly made her faint. Hell, if she hadn't already been firmly in her seat, she'd have fallen on her ass, due to weak knees.

That was such a girlie thing for her to feel!

They had an ipod ear bud each and they took turns choosing one song each. While she chose a pretty awesome set, he managed to find the most sexually suggestive ones he could find on her ipod- Kiss- ''Love Gun'' then Aerosmith- ''Young Lust'' and then- Prince ''Do Me Baby.''

But Kat wouldn't rise to the teasing from him, she chose an oldie that she really loved, Smokey Robinson- 'You've Really Got A Hold On Me.''

Adam knew how much she loved this song, it was because it had been one of her dad's favourites and Joy and Nate would dance to it when she was a little girl. He listened to the words and it was so nice. She had the window seat as usual and she leaned into him nudging him, he knew what she wanted.

She smiled when he raised his arm and let her under and she leaned against him and nearly groaned, he smelled amazing, Versace- like always.

''Your turn Mr Copeland.''

''Well, let's take a look Miss Blackmore.''

He chose more Kiss- 'Rock and Roll all Night.''

They were singing quietly to each other.

Matt and Zack were watching the pair singing and thought it was so cute, they just clicked together, yes her and Cody had been cute, but Kat belonged with one man only!

Adam liked having her this close, they'd had a great week together, they were perfect again.

While she searched or a new song, he asked softly- ''You're still nervous about Hardy showing up aren't you?''

''Kind of, he called me you know.'' she said quietly.

''What? When? Was he stoned?'' he babbled out of shock.

She caught up to his barrage of question- ''It was the night Amy put it out in Twitter, he called me and no- he wasn't stoned, he's been clean for 2 years.''

He didn't like that he'd called her- ''Did he say much?''

''Not really, just that Amy was a bitch and that he hoped that I was happy, but mainly that there was no hard feelings between us. I just got the impression that he was lonely.''

He didn't want her feeling anything for that prick- ''He's got his own circle of friends and family, I'm sure he was just wallowing.''

Kat giggled- ''Jesus, you're all heart.''

''What? The guy's clearly got a screw loose, I have no sympathy for the stupid!''

The look of complete seriousness on his face made her laugh- ''Reign in the melodrama there, we're not on a day time soap.''

He frowned- ''I'm serious Katarina- the guy's not stable, if he shows up in your life again kick him in the junk and run.''

''Wow, great advise.'' she teased.

''Fine.'' he smirked- ''I'll kick him in the junk, while you run.''

As a joke she put on AC/DC ''She's Got Balls.'' which made him nearly choke on the bottle of water he was drinking from, soaking a sleeping Jay.

When they got to the hotel in Raleigh at 1pm, they ditched their cases in their rooms and and went straight to the arena. Kat was in the 'Divas of Doom' locker room and the girls knew that she was going to put on a bad ass show.

They'd actually gotten through to some of the Divas that you could be just as harsh as the guys in the ring, to stop being all sugar and spice like the bimbos. That you could still be hot and be hard core at the same time. Eve and Kaitlyn were becoming pretty bad ass too. Barbie dolls beware, more Divas were rising to 'Divas of Doom' status!

Beth looked at Kat- ''You ok honey?''

Kat just nodded forcing a smile.

Kat got into her new ring gear at 5pm, it was black pants with red cat scratches up the thighs, black knee high boots with red laces, black fingerless gloves, a black and red crop top, the front had a red lace up detail, it was by far her sexiest ring gear to date. It went with her new entrance music- Skid Row- ''Youth Gone Wild.''

She was ready to show the new stage of her career and that started with her new intro.

Her hair was in loose waves as usual, her make up was kept simple, no heavy base, it just looked awful, nobody wanted to see that on a huge screen. The amount of times she'd seen smeary orange foundation and panda eyes on the monitors was unreal, nobody should look like they're pulling a Courtney Love on live TV.

Beth was out doing commentary first with Booker, Cole and Jerry. So, they watched in the dressing room, she did such a great job they were so proud of their girl. Eve and Kaitlyn joined them and when Beth returned she looked very unsettled-

''Beth what's wrong?'' Nattie inquired.

Beth's blue eyes moved to Kat- ''Katarina honey you'd better be ready for this.'' She downed half a bottle of water.

''For what?''

''You've got company out there, right behind commentary.''

Kat was scared now- ''Oh shit, who?''

''Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore!''

Kat's eyes were scrunched closed, shaking her head- ''I've got a psychic stomach!''

Everybody was baffled by that statement.

''Girlie, you're not making sense.'' Nattie giggled.

''I had a gut feeling he'd show up, Adam thought I was just being paranoid. I bet Amy's behind this! That fucking bitch!''

Kaitlyn was worried about her opponent- ''Kat are you going to be ok out there? We can go to Teddy and we'll work something out''

Kat stood up, squared her shoulders and took 3 really deep breaths- ''No, I'm good, they came for a show, we'll give them a Gad damn show. Wanna make it even more interesting?''

Kaitlyn saw the devilish grin on Kat's face and wondered what the Diva had in mind.

When they heard her plan, the girls weren't sure if it was a stroke of madness of sheer genius, either way Kaitlyn was up for it, it'd make people remember this match all right.

Beth said- ''Adam is going to pitch a fit!''

Kat knew that her friend was telling the truth, but he'd done crazier stuff in the ring, he'd stripped and got into bed with a slut and even once accidentally shown his bare ass due to a wardrobe malfunction, so he couldn't pull out the innocent party card on her idea.

They got the 5 minute call.

All 5 Divas headed to the gorilla as a group, other Divas either stood aside or nodded their approval. Adam, Jay and Randy were already seated, watching the action on the monitors.

Kat turned to the three guys and said, specifically to Adam- ''Whatever you see me do out there it's for the Divas Division, ok?''

Adam was confused, then he got a horrific thought- ''If you take ANY clothing off, I'll march out there and put you over my knee and-''

''Ooh kinky boy!'' she teased, seeing him roll his eyes.

Kaitlyn's music began and out she went.

Adam asked quickly- ''What's going on?''

''Jeff and Matt Hardy are out there.'' she replied.

He saw the un-amused look on her face, actually she looked damn pissed. What the hell were those girls planning?

Her new music hit and out she went.

Kat stood at the top of the ramp and heard Lillian give out her stats, then she began her journey to the ring, slapping fans hands as she went. She got up the steps and bounced over the top rope and refused to look behind commentary, it'd only throw her off her game. What the hell was he thinking?

She handed her dog tags over to the ref and got her sights set on Kaitlyn, fully in character now and when the bell sounded, they were off.

Booker said- ''Kat Black is on a BIG winning streak and I hope Kaitlyn knows this girl tears it up!''

Cole said- ''The girl's got eyes, she acme into this match knowing Kat was tough, on her head be it!''

Kat threw her out of the ring, as the blonde was about to get back in, Kat did a wicked baseball slide sending her right against commentary.

SHIT! that's the last place Kat wanted to be, but she grew a pair and ran, launching herself between the middle ropes, catching the blonde perfectly.

They both crashed to the mats and Kat had to bite her lip to keep from laughing as Lawler cheered-

''I love my job! IT'S RAINING DIVAS!''

Kat heard Kaitlyn snort with laughter beneath her.

The blonde pushed Kat off her and went to throw her against the barrier, but she put her feet against it, pushed back hard, knocking the blonde back to the mat.

Jeff was in awe, utter awe, she was incredible. He watched her haul the blonde back into the ring and taunt her with just one look and a single smirk. Seeing her in action again was so much better than just seeing her on TV, it'd been so long since he'd witnessed her talent.

The girls went back and forth, then it was time for the big surprise/shocker. They set it up well, the blonde was on the ring floor, ready.

Kat climbed the ropes, the cheering was insane, they were expecting a re-run of the big 360 turn, form the previous week, after all it'd been amazing, well this was going to be slightly different. She stood balanced perfectly on the turn buckle, a killer grin on her face, the she looked directly at him.

Jeff felt that look all over his body. Then he saw her throw the 'Guns' up in the air, kissing her finger tips. He felt his entire body go loose- she was doing his signature move! She took off at such a huge height, it was pure poetry, the arc, the turn, the landing!

THE PERFECT SWANTON BOMB! By the perfect girl!

The arena just blew up, she'd won and done the most unexpected move, made famous by the most controversial/disgraced former WWE superstar. She didn't care, her adrenaline was pumping, her music was blasting and she was on the turn buckle enjoying her victory. The ref returned her dog tags and she exited the ring, not looking at Jeff, she just headed back up the ramp smiling, slapping hands with her fans along the way.

When she got to the gorilla, Adam was stood there, arms crossed over his amazing broad chest, face like stone, mouth set, she knew that she was going to get so much shit for doing that move...maybe it had been one controversy too far?

''Can we do this somewhere else?'' she requested.

Saying nothing, he lead/stomped, the entire way to his locker room.

One look at Jay, Zack, Matt and Randy had them exiting not even bothering with fake excuses to leave, they knew that this was going to get ugly.

The second the door closed, Adam threw the lock, so nobody would interrupt them.

Kat looked at him, his back was to her, he was still in his wrestling gear so he was only in tights and boots, god he was gorgeous even form the back! 'NO- get your head in the game!' she chastised herself.

He ran his hands through his hair and she hated the silence, waiting made her jumpy. When he finally turned she could see that he was really pissed at her-

''You know he is probably here tonight because of Amy don't you?'' he yelled.

''Of course I know that!'' she yelled back, the sound ricochetting around the room.

''Well, I had to check after all you were out there giving him the wrestling equivalent of foreplay!'' he bellowed.

''What!'' she laughed- ''You took Amy's bra off under a silk sheet, in a bed, in the ring! What was that? A mild flirtation?''

He pursed his lips and frowned- ''Hey, don't change the subject! What you did out there was totally UNPROFFESIONAL!''

''Actually- it was my way of saying- 'I know you're here spying, go fuck yourself for being Amy's pawn!' But if you want to get technical, I guess it was ''unprofessional'' but hell, I did that move better than him!''

Adam said reluctantly- ''Ok, I'll give you that, it was incredible!''

''Wow, did that hurt to say?'' she teased.

''Shut up.'' he sighed- ''what you did, was act like a fucking tease!''

She shrugged- 'Guess I've been down-graded.''

''What!'' he was confused by her words.

''I'm just a plain 'tease' now huh? I thought my particular brand of 'tease' was more...localised.''

Adam saw her gorgeous lips twist into a smirk, the little minx was flirting with him! It made his blood boil and not with anger. He began stalking towards her slowly and she teasingly kept eye contact, not backing down an inch.

Kat was so turned on by this fight, her adrenaline was pumping,not only had Amy's obvious scheme to get Jeff here to either seduce or screw her up, fallen flat on it's face, it had also ignited something between her and Adam!

He pulled her against him and said- ''I really should put you across my knee!''

She loved the way that sounded, biting her lower lip, she asked- ''You gonna teach me a lesson Ill never forget?''

''Damn right I am!''

He quickly sat down on the edge of the couch, dragged her face down across his lap, his strong arm banding across her lower back-

''This-'' SLAP- ''Is for being a SHAMELESS TEASE!''

Kat was shocked by the firm spank to her butt cheek, the echo rung out in the rather empty room. Singing through the spandex of her wrestling tights, leaving a tingling sensation that made her shudder. She giggled and gripped his booted ankle.

''This-'' SLAP- ''Is for being UNPROFESSIONAL!''

She moaned and gasped.

Adam was enjoying this, she was at his mercy, her cute, pert butt was across his lap ans she was seeming to love it, if her sexy little moans were anything to go by, he was getting hard just hearing it all.

''This-'' SLAP- ''Is for SMILING WHILE YOU WERE DOING IT!''

Kat could feel his erection growing by her hip, clearly this was turning him on just as much as I was her.

''This-'' SLAP- ''Is FOR NOT USING ONE OF MY MOVES!''

he cries out again from the firm spank and she felt him caress the area he'd abused so well. She hoped he wasn't done yet, she was only getting going. And he dared call HER the tease!

''This-'' SLAP- ''Is for LOOKING FUCKING HOT WHILE I WAS TRYING TO BE MAD AT YOU!''

She let out a sexy laugh and the minx that she was dared to wiggle her hot little butt and say- ''Adam baby, that's a two spank felony if ever I heard one.''

He laughed- ''See- fucking tease!''

''Tease? Who's teasing? Get back to work you tease!'' she giggled.''

''Oh you're asking for it now!'' SLAP! He spanked her her once more causing her to laugh again.

He caressed her butt cheek- ''You'll be the death of me Blackmore.''

''Quit complaining Copeland, you love me really.'' she purred.

He ran a hand down the exposed skin of her lower back and said softly releasing his arm that'd held her in place- ''I do, you know.''

Kat heard his serious tone and carefully turned over and sat very gingerly on his knee, not sure if her was screwing with her- ''Do you?''

He nodded- ''I was never lying. It wasn't some ploy to get you into bed either, I meant it all along, I acted like a jerk to you when I tried to rush you, but what I said – it was all real.''

Kat was shaking slightly, holy shit, this was actually happening- ''Tell me properly.''

Adam looked at Katarina- ''I love you, I'm in love with you. It's always been you.''

He stroked her cheek and she said- ''I love you Adam.''

He didn't have any control over it, but he felt the tears spring up, she wiped them away gently, then held his face in her palms and kissed him oh so softly.

She looked at him frowning- ''This is so typically us.''

''What is Kitty Kat''

''We can't do anything normal. Since when do other peoples spanking sessions lead to declarations of love?'' she cocked a brow.

He kissed her, chuckling as he did so- ''At least we're not boring. How about we go out for our first official date tonight?''

''I say let's go on a date.'' she smiled.

Adam nodded- FINALLY! A date with Kat, it'd taken them long enough!

**AN: Hope you liked it, next chapter will be the date and lets just say some of the locals are none too happy. R&R.**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: thank you to all the lovely reviewers who make this all worth while ;) this chapter has a bit of everything an some long awaited hot loving! but it's not graphic porno-sex it's more of a romantic love scene. I hope it doesn't suck- no pun intended. **

**R&R**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 12

Kat entered the Divas locker room with a big dopey grin on her face and Beth shot a look to Nattie, Eve and Kaitlyn- ''Kat? You ok?''

The brunette Diva snapped out of it- ''Oh yeah.''

She giggled, shaking her head, going to her bag.

When she stripped down to her sports bra and slid off her tights, the girls all gasped, but Nattie laughed- ''Holy crow girlie! Did Adam do that?''

Kat looked where the blonde pointed and checked in the full length mirror. Sure, enough, her black thong revealed a big red hand mark on her left butt cheek- she giggled seeing it'd be a wicked bruise soon- ''Oh yeah.''

They all saw the dirty grin on her face and were all demanding details, Kat grabbed her towel and headed to the showers with her shower gel- ''Ladies, there's nothing to tell.''

she smiled got into the stall closest to her and threw the pink curtain closed, but before she turned the tap she called- ''But there might be after our date tonight!''

The second the hot water hit her abused butt cheek, the dull ache radiated through her entire body and it wasn't a bad thing she actually liked the sensation. Once she was free of make up and sweat, she got dried avoiding all the questions just smirking like the tease she loved being.

She put her jeans and biker boots on and buttoned up her black short sleeved shirt, towelled her hair and moisturised her face, not wanting to risk a acne flair up.

Adam was drying his hair, he'd needed a cold shower after all of that spanking. He knew she was a live-wire, but apparently she was kinky too...well he was too- clearly, since it'd gotten him going too.

Ok, he'd been tied up several times in bed, but that was usually due to one too many drinks, but this had been sober action with a sober girl. He'd been right- they were never going to lead a boring life.

Jay entered he locker room wary of what could be happening within, but all he saw was Adam sat, grinning like a mad man-

''Take it everything went ok?''

''We're going on a date!'' he beamed.

Jay was stunned- ''About frickin' time!''

Anyone who didn't know about the pair, found out in the hall way when they made goo-goo eyes at each other, blushed, then he put his hand out to her, which she took. It was like watching a pair of teenagers. Quite sweet really.

At the hotel, Kat wouldn't let anyone help her with her pre-date routine, she needed time to herself, to let it all sink in.

Jesus, Jeff had actually shown up! Amy really was out to fuck her over. Man, she'd be royally pissed if she realised her plot had accidentally thrown Kat right into Adam's arms.

She dressed in black skinny jeans, knee boots and a one sleeved, figure hugging top. She wore simple make-up and didn't want to look too over dressed.

At a bar in town, Matt and Shannon were trying to get Jeff calmed down, but he was buzzing about Katarina doing his move-

''I think she was trying to make a point to me.''

Matt looked at his younger brother and shook his head- ''No, she was just acknowledging that she knew you were spying on her.''

Jeff shook his head- ''No. I know her, that Swanton Bomb was a message for me.''

''You've really lost it this time!'' Shannon shook his head.

''If you'd heard her on the phone, you wouldn't even doubt my words.'' Jeff said, retying his purple hair in it's pony tail.

''isn't she dating Cody?'' Matt pointed out.

''Not any more.'' Jeff grinned.

''How in Gods name do you know that?'' Matt inquired.

''Little birdy told me.'' that grin still in place.

Shannon took a swig of his beer- ''Amy's little locker room spies no doubt.''

Matt hated that bitches name to be said, it piqued his anger just hearing it- ''I can't believe my own brother is in cahoots with my cheating ex! Where's your loyalty?''

''I resent that! She came to me with valuable information.'' Jeff said in his defence.

''It's bullshit- not information!'' Shannon chipped in.

''That she-devil is using you, open your eyes!'' Matt said, earning himself a belligerent look from Jeff.

Shannon wanted to leave, but fate took one last crap on their parade- in walked Adam Copeland and Katarina. He pulled his cap down lower and groaned.

Jeff nearly gave himself whip-lash doing a double take of who had just walked in, fuck, she looked so damn good.

Matt wanted to kill Copeland with his bare hands, that big Canadian prick was the reason he'd had to personally ring up and cancel wedding plans and all that jazz.

Shannon wished he was at home with his wife, but these two were going to cause a bar fight if he left them here. No way was he bailing them out of jail, he had a baby on the way, he wasn't paying for their dumb asses to be set free...ok maybe he would, but he'd never let them forget it if he had to.

Kat and Adam had wanted to go to a bar that was low key, where they could just hang out and play pool and they'd found the perfect place, He got them a Bud each and they sat over by the juke box waiting fort he pool table to free up.

''Your mom is going to beat me so badly when she finds out about us.'' he cringed.

''My mom and I had a real mother-daughter chat in Marietta and I think she's kinda prepared herself for this.''

Adam smirked- ''So, no death or castration?''

''Not yet.'' she winked.

''When we get to Tampa on Monday...erm.-'' he trailed off.

''You wanna make plans?''

''Do you want to come stay with me for the week?''

She loved his place, it was so nice not a huge mansion, it was big but tasteful, on a quiet street, less that half a mile from her house.

''sure, but I'm not living off take-out and ice cream.''

''Ok, I'll cook, but we are eating ice cream, it's our thing and you don't share so I have t buy two of everything.'' he compromised.

They claimed the pool table and as usual she was kicking his ass. She said- ''what's wrong Addy? Why you pouting?''

''It's not exactly manly having your ass handed to you by a girl.'' he said, looking down at her gorgeous face, loving the way she never hid her freckles, under make up, they were too cute to hide.

''Well, it's only fair that I kick you ass, after all you spanked mine.'''

He nearly choked on his beer- ''Katarina!''

She laughed as he coughed uncontrollably.

''Poor Adam, I'm the one who should be pouting, I've got the bruised ass.'' she took her shot and won.

He saw her grin, grab her purse and say- ''rack em' up handsome, Ladies room then bar.''

She gave him a sexy wink and off she went.

If he'd carried on ogling her he'd have seen Jeff Hardy get up and follow her.

Kat dried her hands and touched up her make up, then headed out. She got about 10 feet down the hall when she was pulled by the wrist into a deserted corridor leading to the staff only area. It took a second before she could figure out what was going on-

''Jeff? What the hell?'' she frowned.

He smiled at his beautiful ex-girlfriend, she looked stunning- ''I wanted to talk to you baby girl.''

She was very aware of his strong hand around her wrist and his 6ft1 height, the lack of foot traffic in this part, they were all alone back here, in this dim, darkly painted hall.

Wanting to keep calm and not panic, she played along- ''How are you?''

''I'm good, real good. You were wonderful tonight.''

''Good and thank you.'' she could tell that he was going to touch her.

''Don't be nervous.'' he said, raising his free hand and stroking her bare shoulder- ''You used to love me touching you, remember?''

Katarina didn't want a trip down memory lane- ''That was a long time ago, a lot has changed.''

He moved closer, she smelled so good, he backed her against the wall, she was so petite, he got memories flashing through his mind of them in bed together, all the crazy shit they used to do, the things she could do with her body, he'd never done stuff like that since her and never would if he didn't have her- ''I knew the second you looked at me and began that move, that Amy hadn't been lying, that you did still have the old feelings for me.''

Kat was scared now, Amy had gotten to Jeff! She tried to pull her hand out of his vice-like grip, but he was so strong, his lips were now on her neck, his weight pinning her to the wall as she struggled. Her heart was racing sickeningly in the back of her throat, tears welled up, she felt helpless. All of her training, her strength and attitude felt like bullshit, she couldn't save herself, because she wasn't physically stronger than a man.

''No! Jeff- STOP!''

Jeff took a deep inhale of her scent, she still wore that same intoxicating perfume- 'Glow' His sheets had smelled of her, his pillows, the shirts of his she liked to wear had all had her scent. After the split he'd clung on to her scent like it was a life line. The half full bottle she'd left behind still lay in his night stand beside the Tiffany & Co ox he'd never presented to her. He kissed her and ran his teeth over her skin, just like she used to like. But she wasn't moaning his name like before, she was struggling and crying, he looked at her- ''No, don't cry baby girl shh I'll make it all good again I swear.''

Kat struggled again- ''Jeff just get off me.''

''Don't be scared of me, it' ok. You said yourself so long ago, that it's ok if you do it for love.''

Do it for love? What? He thought they were going to-

''No! Jeff don't!'' she yelled.

Out in the bar Adam was getting worried, she'd been gone a while. Had she bailed on him? Oh fuck, was this some kind of elaborate pay-back or what he'd done to her with Amy? He felt sick just imagining that. He needed to scour the bar just to be sure. He called her cell phone- no answer! He began his search.

Matt and Shannon exchanged worried looks and saw Copeland head in the direction of the bathrooms. What had Jeff done? They got up and headed after him.

Adam pushed the doors and headed in the direction he'd seen her go. He heard a mans voice and a girl crying, nausea rolled through him again- Katarina!

He ran, he saw a sight in the dim light that made every civilized part of him die away, his love pinned by Jeff Hardy, crying as his hands were all over her as she fought in vain to free herself.

Kat heard an enraged growl and though her eyes were stinging form the mascara her tears had washed into them, she still saw Adam. He charged at Jeff, wrenching him away from her. She was too caught up to stay vertical, she slid down the wall tears still falling.

Matt and Shannon saw the scene- Kat drying on the floor, Adam beating the shit out of Jeff while screaming- ''WHEN A GIRL'S CRYING LIKE THAT YOU STOP YOU SICK FUCK!''

Adam hit Jeff again, he felt that sickening fleshy crunch of Jeff's nose beneath his fist. He was dragged off Jeff by two strong arms. He was ready to fight again, until he saw the older Hardy stood there and he saw the hate in his eyes.

Jeff was in so much pain, from his ribs, his jaw and his nose, it felt like it was coming out of his eye socket. Shannon was helping him to his feet. He saw Katarina huddled on the floor, oh God he'd scared the life out of her! What the hell had he just done? He made to go to her, but Shan stopped him. He had to watch as Copeland crouched down and pulled her to his chest, then his arms enveloped her.

Then Copeland's eyes zeroed in on him, they were deadly- ''You ever come near my girlfriend and I swear to God it'll take an army to stop me killing you.''

Girlfriend? Girlfriend! Katarina and Adam were a couple now! No, he didn't deserve her! This sobriety thing was all for her!

Matt and Shan dragged Jeff out of there to get him to the E.R and save him form his own death wish.

Kat was shaken up, but she knew Adam had just saved her from something that could have ended very badly for her. She had no idea how far Jeff would have gone and she never wanted to know. She picked up her purse, he helped her up and she hugged him- ''Thank you.''

''You don't have to thank me Kitty Kat.'' he kissed her softly on the lips.

They got a cab back to the hotel and in her room, she took her make up off in the bathroom and put on her little black shorts and a black tank top. She saw Adam laid on the bed without his shoes, he patted the space beside him and she tip-toed over.

He liked this, the way she curled around him, the way they just fit together. She looked up at him, stroked his hair away from his face and just seemed to study his face. He felt oddly shy under her intelligent gaze, what was she seeing? All of his confidence in his looks, weren't helping him, this girl knew him, knew all the grit, had seen him at his best, his worst and his most vulnerable- after his neck surgery, when ever being in the ring again, was looking bleak. This girl had seen him gain weight while wallowing in self pity living off ice cream yet still she was there.

''You're beautiful.'' she whispered, tracing his cheek bone with a finger tip, then down his long jaw line.

He leaned in and kissed her slowly, she lay on his chest, between his parted thighs and his hands ran up her bare thighs, up over her little hips, to settle on the curves of her waist.

Katarina wanted him to make love to her, she'd waited long enough! 8 years was TOO LONG! She could feel how much he wanted her.

When she looked down at him, he saw the look in her eyes. One that he'd never seen before from her, the intensity, the desire and it was all for him. He wanted her so much, the love he felt for her never would be rivalled, it just wasn't possible.

''Do you want me?'' she purred.

He kissed her deeply and said against her soft full lips- ''I've wanted you for 8 years Katarina.''

Kat wasn't waiting a minute longer, she reached down and took the hem of his shirt and began removing it, he raised his arms and let her. She cast it aside as he sat before her, she lay soft kisses on his neck, his skin was so warm, his pulse racing beneath her lips, part of her was reassured by this, he was nervous too, just like her.

Her hands explored his muscular arms, traced his tattoos, he ran fingers through her hair, pulling her closer, feeling those gentle exploratory touches of hers made him shiver with pleasure. God, she knew just how to touch him.

Kat loved his body, he was perfection, sheer perfection, the way his skin felt under her lips, the way it tasted under her tongue, this was her man. She felt those hands of his skim around her lower back and she felt him raise the hem of her tank top, she looked right into his eyes and there was no exchange of smiles, it was all in the eye contact.

Adam pulled the top free of her body, her hair falling all around her shoulders in tousled waves and loose curls, he threw the garment aside, not caring where it lay. He ran his lips over her delicate collar bones, kissing lightly, enticing those little moans he was quickly becoming addicted to. He was learning her body, where she liked to be kissed and touched.

Her fingers ran over his soft hair and under his chin, raising his face to hers as she claimed his lips, she could hear him unbuckling his belt, a wave of nerves swept through her,but her body was aching for his, she wouldn't deny her bodies need for his.

His tongue glided over hers, tasting and exploring every part of her sweet mouth, giving back all the passion he felt. He lowered his beautiful girl into the pillows and lay beside her, kissing her stomach, her ribs, her hips, then he slipped his fingers under the waist band of her shorts and began moving them down. He saw her raise up to allow him, he knew his hands were unsteady, as he pulled them down her legs. He kissed the freckle that lay on the front of her left thigh- god he'd wanted to do that for 8 long years.

She had such a lovely body, he'd never seen anything as stunning, nothing artificially placed or surgically sculpted, she was as nature intended. Just laid there in her black lace underwear, cheeks flushed, she had him speechless.

She watched him kick his pants away and got a glimpse at his eyes, those eyes showed her he loved her. He moved up the bed and she felt so tiny, as he settled over her, his golden hair surrounding them as they kissed. Feeling the heat of his bare skin on every exposed inch of her own, was a sensation so close to ecstasy she couldn't imagine living without it now.

Her feet stroked up the back of his calves, causing a jolt of pleasure to straight to his arousal, he ground against her, deepening the kiss. Kat reached behind herself and released her bra, Adam pulled back and watched her reveal herself to him, she was glorious.

She did feel nervous, but he kissed her lips and said against them- ''you're beautiful Katarina, just beautiful.''

She knew she was blushing but for the first time in her life it didn't matter, because she felt...beautiful, and she'd never felt like that in all of her 26 years.

He lowered his lips to her full, natural breast, his tongue swirling around one rosy peak, s his thumb circled the other, causing a shock of pleasure, to run through her body, her back arching up from the soft bedding.

Adam ground into her again, he couldn't wait much longer, she felt too good beneath him, he wanted to make love to her, more than he could stand.

Her underwear was slid down and discarded, his too and she was instantly worried, he wasn't built like any of her past lovers, he was so big, she looked up at him and he was giving her one of his innocent looks- ''What's wrong Kitty Kat?''

She didn't really know what to say, it'd sound dumb.

He stroked her cheek- ''Tell me.''

Adam saw her apprehension and such an innocent look play across her face, she flushed deeper and said softly- ''Promise me you won't hurt me.''

Adam's heart just melted- ''I promise, I'll make it perfect, you'll feel nothing but pleasure.''

He kissed her and trailed down her body.

Kat felt his fingers slide between her legs, stroking her core, they ghosted over that ultra sensitive bundle of nerves, that had her arching from the bed, but his mouth took over. She cried out his name, spearing her fingers into his hair, her toe nails scratching his back.

Adam hadn't tasted anything this addictive in all of his life, he wanted to please her in every way, hearing her cry his name in that seductive tone made him even harder than he'd ever been in his whole life. He stroked her soaked core and slowly sank his fingers into her searing heat, gently deepening it as he drew on that little bundle if nerves. He instantly felt her muscles contract and quiver under his ministrations.

Kat could feel her body losing control, her skin was alive with a thousand shards of sensation ready to burst free any second. He knew just how to make her entire being shake, feeling her orgasm build within her, then it just broke free.

Adam had just heard the ultimate erotic thing- his true love having an orgasm because of him, she sounded so happy. He moved up her body, kissing her deeply, then looked into her eyes- ''You taste beautiful, can you taste that?''

She nodded and said very seductively- ''Hmm, I do taste good.''

Groaning, Adam had to be inside of her, once they found protection, he rejoined her on the bed and as he lay between her thighs he said- ''I love you, so much.''

''I love you too.''

Nothing else mattered. Nothing else needed to be said, he kissed her and reached between them and guided himself into her tight perfect body heat, he went very slowly, to allow her to adjust to his size. When he began moving, he just felt wave after wave of emotions that he'd never experienced before.

He's never had _this_ before, sex with someone you loved was completely different, you care about how you make them feel, what they feel and it was a revelation.

Kat had waited so long for this and to feel him deep within her, taking such good care to go slowly, she linked her legs around his powerful hips and held him close, not wanting this to ever end.

He could feel when she was close to climax, the way her walls gripped him, it took him higher. She dug her heels just below his ass, forcing him deeper and deeper, until he was fully within her. Their fingers locked together, lips too as they came together, shaking, crying out together.

He felt her arms hold him close, even when he had nothing left to give, she just held him and he needed that. She moved his hair from his eyes and he looked at his girl- eyes glazed and heavy, a small smirk curving her lips.

Kat looked up at Adam, he was red cheeked, his exhaustion clear, she leaned her head to the side and kissed his bruised hand.

After a quick shower, they went to bed and he couldn't have her out of contact with him, some crazy part of him thought that if that happened,he'd wake up and find that this whole night had just been a dream.

Kat fell asleep in his arms, playing with his damp hair, knowing she was loved and in love with the right man.

**AN: I hope this turned out ok, I wanted then to have a beautiful night, they deserve I after what they've been through.**

**R&R.**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: hello I hope their first night together wasn't too weird, I couldn't write it as being a smutty delight considering what she'd been through at the bar with Jeff. This chapter is a step towards the big plot line that's coming up so hang on tight. **

**R&R**

**I only own my ocs.**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 13

Kat started to wake up, becoming very aware of something tickling her neck and stomach. She forced her sleepy eyes open a crack and thought she was just experiencing the most vivid dream of her life. The old favourite she just loved having- the one where Adam was in her bed, kissing her. Her brain caught up and their love making came back to her glorious techni colour. Adam's lips were kissing her neck and his long, warm fingers were ghosting over her toned stomach, making her giggle at the sensation.

He was so glad to wake up like this, that one giggle just made it all worth while- all the days of being estranged, he was happy. There was also no 'Morning After' atmosphere, she was accepting his advances and he said against the skin of her shoulder-

''Morning Kitty Kat.''

Katarina stretched out her waking body and smiled at the beautiful man in bed with her- ''Morning handsome.''

He pulled her closer to him, he looked at her- ''You feeling ok?''

She nodded- ''I feel great, a few aches, but nothing bad.''

He didn't like that- ''What? Baby did I hurt you?''

Kat stroked his neck tenderly- ''No, it's normal, I just hadn't done that in a while.''

He saw her cheeks heat up- oh of course she hadn't, the last guy had probably been...Hardy! Adam fought the urge to track him down and beat him some more, that bastard! How could he try to do that to Kat?

Jeff hadn't slept, he'd gotten back from the E.R around 12:30am, his nose was broken, so he now had two black eyes, his jaw was swollen and his ribs were bruised. He'd never felt lower I his life. The fear in Kat's stunning green eyes haunted him. What the hell had he been thinking?

He couldn't remember half of what he'd said to her, his adrenaline had been pumping like crazy by that point, she'd been in his arms...not by choice. He cringed and it made his busted nose throb. Matt hadn't spoken to him the entire journey to the hospital, or while they'd been waiting to be seen. Shannon had at least acknowledged his existence with a stern look, Matt had blanked him, until they got back to Jeff's house and then he'd let his anger out on his younger brother.

''Just tell me what you were doing to the girl!''

''I...I didn't mean to scare her.'' he said honestly.

''Why was she crying like that? The girl looked damn terrified.''

Jeff was sat on the couch as Matt stared him down, towering over him- ''She...she was struggling.''

''Why?''

His aching head was laid back on the back of the couch- ''I-I had her...pinned and...I had hold of her wrist.''

Matt had always been fond of the talented Diva and hearing this story unfold was making his realise why Copeland had beaten his brother-

''You had her pinned! That's assault Jeff!''

Jeff scowled the best he could- ''And what would you call this?'' he pointed to his mashed up face.

''I'd call it a guy defending his girlfriend from her ex, while he tries to assault her! How far were you going to go Jeff?''

Jeff feat sick at his brothers insinuations- ''I wasn't going to...do THAT to her!''

Matt's shrewd eyes narrowed- ''At what point did that prick Copeland catch you?''

Jeff broke eye contact, feeling exposed and more than slightly ashamed- ''I..I was kissing her.''

He saw Matt shake his head- ''Was she crying? Did she tell you to stop?''

He nodded at his older brother, Matt's look of shame fell over Jeff like a lead blanket- ''Matt, I didn't mean to scare her, I just...I just wanted to be close to her...like we used to be.''

''You can't be with her, that ship sailed long ago, she's with Copeland!'' Matt had yelled , hoping to get through to his brother.

''She's supposed to be with me! She was supposed to be my wife- I had the ring! Hell, I've STILL got the ring!''

Jeff had seen his older brothers shock- ''When were you...? when?''

''Two years ago, when we dated, but I fucked it up! Do you think it's easy for me? She was the one for me, now she's with someone else.''

''That doesn't even begin to excuse what nearly did!''

With that, Matt had left.

Now at 8:30am, he was still sat on his couch, staring at the pile of ash in the fire grate, the logs he'd chopped and added at 3am, long since gone. Boo, still sleeping happily on the rug, Jeff was still in his blood stained clothes, blood still dried and caked around his nails, he had to see her again, just to talk to her and to explain his action.

Smackdown was heading to her home town next and he'd get to talk to her there. Best to catch her when she was away from work, he knew where she lived, he'd stayed there with her on several occasions. Then his eyes drifted to his key hooks by the front door and he smiled, perfect- he still had her key.

Kat was brushing her teeth, after sending Adam to go and pack his case, they'd spent two hours between the sheets and she couldn't help but grin at the sight of Adams face when she'd taken the dominant role. She's been slightly nervous at first, after all the beautiful guy had been around the block, there was probably very few taboos left for him.

Something had just clicked within her, she'd looked into his eyes and the minx had come out, denying him the ability to touch her , unless she allowed him. She'd been straddling him, her knees resting on his wrists and palms. It'd driven him crazy, as she'd ridden him, she'd teased him shamelessly by caressing her own body, the sheer frustration on his face had spurred her on.

She rinsed her tooth brush and got her make up done, feeling happy, until she noticed a small bruise on her wrist, part of her wanted to believe it was from the match with Kaitlyn, or from her love making with Adam. But she couldn't lie to herself, it was from Jeff. She felt sick thinking about it.

Adam got to his room and saw Jay grinning at his as he packed his own case-

''Walk of shame?''

He rolled his eyes, fighting a smirk- ''No and it's private.''

Jay laughed- ''I'm just kidding,you do whatever makes you happy...until Joy finds out.''

''No no, Kat said she's cool with it.''

''Bullshit, the first time she sees you with Kat she's going to give you the scary lecture Nate would have dealt out.''

Adam bit his lower lip, thinking as he began gathering up his things.

Jay teased- ''Just don't get Kat pregnant.''

Adam shook his head- ''Shut up, we're not stupid.''

''Hey accidents happen.''

''Kat's too young for that, we've only just gotten together, so shut up.''

Jay relented- ''Ok, so what's the plan for you two when you get home?''

He saw Adams big smile break out- ''She's coming to stay with me while we're home.''

''Great, I just hope she knows that you still can't cook anything but Pop Tarts and micro wave pop corn- oh but you torched the popcorn last time if I recall our Die Hard marathon.''

''I CAN cook..sort of.''

''Ad, you're the only 38 year old that had a freezer full of his mom's home cooking in Tupperware containers.''

Sometimes he hated how well Jay knew him.

''Whoa what happened to your hand?''

Adam looked at his bruised hand and split knuckles and felt his anger spike- ''Hardy basically assaulted Kat.''

''FUCKING ASSHOLE I'LL KILL HIM!'' Jay yelled.

''I beat you to it, I broke his nose. Jay his fucking hands were all over her, she was crying- '' he gulped- ''I just know that if I hadn't shown up, he'd have- '' he just couldn't bare to say the words aloud.

''If he comes near her again, we end him!'' Jay seethed.

Kat and Adam were getting a flight to Tampa that afternoon, she just wanted to get the hell out of North Carolina and forget the whole mess with Jeff and focus on her long awaited new relationship. They were embarking on an adventure in her eyes, after all it was exciting, scary and she had no clue what would happen. If that wasn't an adventure, she didn't know what was.

They were in the private lounge in the airport and he felt the stiffness in his nick, he was always careful with his neck, especially after the fusion surgery. He'd thought that he had been careful during his match with Wade, but something was aggravating him.

He was trying to relieve the stiffness, by gently massaging the area, then he rolled his neck and he instantly knew something was drastically wrong- pins and needles sprang up down his his arms. Fuck! He flexed his hands, trying to see if it was just a passing thing. But, the seconds went by and he was still getting waves of the sensation down his arms.

Kat knew something was wrong, he was looking shit scared and flexing his hands over and over-

''Babe, are you ok?''

he just kept looking at his hands- ''I'm not sure.''

She'd been with him before, during and after his surgery and knew the risks that he'd faced getting back in the ring and working again, so she also knew the signs to look out for when it came to future problems.

''Pain? Numbness? Tingling?'' she inquired, laying her hand on his strong upper arm.

''Tingling.'' he said. Flexing his wrists, staring blankly at them.

''Ok, well when we get home, we'll ring your doctor and schedule a check up, see what's going on with that.''

Kat wasn't sweeping this under the rug, the risks of delayed complications weren't to be sniffed at. The specialist had said that further damage could lead to paralysis.

Adam looked at her, she had her serious face on, the one that said not to mess with her. He needed her to be the strong one, because if this got bad, he didn't know if he could play the role of the strong guy. He didn't want to feel helpless like this, his neck had been fine for a couple of years now. Ok he'd had a few aches and pains during that time, that was expected with this job. He tried to remember anything out of the ordinary with his neck but he drew a blank, he'd had more on his mind the past few months in regards to his personal life, his old injury hadn't been on his mind.

When they were on the flight, he took her hand and said- ''If..if this_ is _bad..will you be there?''

She captured both of his big hands in her much smaller ones- ''Adam, I was there when you had your first surgery, I was there when you woke up all dopey asking if I had a stick of gum, I was still there when you were healing and now- I'll be here every step of the way, no matter what.''

He leaned forward, resting his forehead on hers- ''where would I be without my number 1 girl?''

''You'd be living off ice cream and still have no clue how to use your tumble dryer.'' she smirked.

He laughed- ''Very true. Thank you.''

She winked- ''No problem handsome.''

He kissed her gently, neither one of them caring if they were being watched, this was their real lives and nobody elses business.

When they landed, they put on shades and kept their heads down, one or two fans stopped them for pictures and autographs and being professionals and two of the nicest on the roster, they always made time for the fans.

They didn't even bother going to her house, they got a cab to his place, cases going straight to the laundry room, where she get to work on their washing, while Adam made the call to his doctors office.

Kat set the machine away and to keep herself busy, she headed up to his bedroom. Seeing the bed was stripped, she got fresh linens , opened the windows to air out the room, then assembled the bed. Trying not to think about the possible medical checks and tests Adam had ahead of him.

In his office, he'd just ended the call to Dr Lloyd and thankfully he saw patients on Sundays, so he was booked in for 9am for an emergency assessment. He was actually shaking and it had nothing to do with his medical issues, this was pure fear. He rubbed the back of his neck, tracing the hairline scar, that 2inch line of scar tissue made it all so real.

He stared at the phone, fuck he'd have to call Steph and Vince, he was booked in for tests most of the week. Taking another deep breath, he picked up the phone and dialled Steph at the office. The call was simple, he didn't bullshit her, she got the facts and he agreed to see the WWE health officials too after his private tests. He was cleared from work for the week.

He got up and heard Kat upstairs, singing to herself, it made him smile, she had such a beautiful voice. He stood in the bedroom doorway as she lay the mountain of pillows he had, back in place-

''I go in at 9am tomorrow.''

She jumped, hearing his voice and saw that he looked shell shocked, in the space of 30 minutes he looked like he hadn't slept in 5 days. She went to him, took his hand, lead him to the bed and parked him against the pillows and sat beside him-

''I'm coming with you.'' she said, leaving no room for arguments.

He nodded smirking- ''I called Steph, I'm cleared for the week...fuck I've got to call Jay.''

Kat knew that he really didn't want to make that call- ''How about we take an hour, just get out of here, go to our little ice cream place and shut reality out. Just for one hour.''

He nodded- ''That sounds great to me.''

They changed into Florida-mode, which was shorts and flip flops, he tied his hair back, and they put on their shades, after locking up hey headed out. It was only a few blocks away and they went there all the time when they were home, it was their little place.

He was over come suddenly and just stopped walking, on the corner of the block, he looked at the girl he'd loved for so long and just kissed her.

She hadn't been expecting that, but Adam was a pot of mixed emotions right now, so she just went with it and kissed him back. He gave her a weak smile and she wished she could see his eyes, but she knew that he needed to shield part of himself from her right then, he was fighting to keep it together, she knew that. So she just smiled- ''I love you Adam- and it's unconditional.''

He pulled her to his chest and couldn't speak.

They made their way to the ice cream shop and she went in, he sat outside in the sun. He could see a group of teenage boys drooling over her, it made him smile. She did look stunning- denim cut offs, bare toned legs, tight white tank top that showed off her amazingly perfect rack, flat stomach and small waist no wonder the teens were daring each other to go up to her. It was the smallest of the group that had the guts.

Kat was waiting in line, when a skinny blonde teen had come over and said nervously- ''Erm..excuse me, could I please have your autograph?''

Kat smiled at him- ''Sure thing.''

He handed her a piece of paper and a pen- ''You're my favourite Diva- ever!''

''Really? Thank you very much.''

His friends came over, the tallest one-the cocky one of the group asked- ''So are you with Cody Rhodes?''

''Only on the show.'' she smiled.

''so you're single'' he grinned.

She had to laugh, this kid was going to be a heart breaker when he got older. ''No I'm not single.''

Then Adam walked in making all the teenage girls nearly wet themselves, as he walked over to her grinning that bad ass grin only HE could pull off while wearing cargo shorts-

''See, this is the price I pay fro having such a beautiful girlfriend.''

The young guys jaws dropped- Kat Black was dating Edge! Holy shit!

Kat saw Adam was in 'Edge-mode' he cocked a brow at the young star struck teens- ''Clearly we've all got great taste.''

The look he'd shot her was that filthy sex laden one he pulled out on TV all the time. Kat was sure the boys had all blushed at that point.

When the kids had gotten a picture each and autographs they left the couple alone.

''That was fun'' he smirked.

She was pleased to see him smiling.

They got their strawberry and cherry ice cream and began walking home, an arm around each other, just thinking about what the next day could bring. But, then he realised that even if it was bad news, he'd probably had the most amazing 24 hours of his life. He was finally with her and she loved him. He had to keep it together for her, especially if Jeff Hardy had any ideas in that fucked up head of his. Adam needed to keep his wits about him or Kat could get hurt, it only took one distraction.

**AN: yes this is going to get sad Edge fans. R&R.**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews they mean so much to me, I'm just glad that people are still reading and I might have said that it'd be completed a few chapters ago, but I've had a crush on this guy for over a decade so I can't face ending this story just yet. Lol.**

**R&R**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 14

On Sunday at 9am they were in Dr Lloyd's private examination room, as he checked Adam over. Kat knew he was scared, his eyes were breaking her heart, he might have been sat there physically 38 years, but he just looked like a scared little boy. She moved her chair closer to his and took his hand in hers as he answered the doctors questions. She could feel that his hand was soaking wet and shaking, as he gripped hers tightly.

''The pain in my neck hasn't been too bad, so I didn't worry too much. Since my last match on Friday it's stiffened and I keep getting a tingling sensation in waves down my arms.''

Dr Lloyd nodded writing all of this down- ''Any numbing?''

''Some, but this is only since Friday too.''

He wrote Adam a list of his scheduled test and Kat saw how many there were, she tried like hell not to show how worried she was. Other girls would have cried at this point, but now wasn't the time, he needed her to be rock solid. She could cry in the shower later that night. She would not break in front of him.

Dr Lloyd advised Adam not to do any heavy lifting, no strenuous exercise until his tests were completed and they had the results.

They'd been in there nearly 2 hours and when they got back to his Jeep, he couldn't drive, he was too caught up, so she took the keys from him-

''You're not insured to drive my car.''

''Anyone dumb enough to prang us will get the beat down of a life time.'' she winked.

He managed a genuine smile, she was a good driver, but she had that fierce Blackmore temper. He might find her very sexy when she was mad, but other drivers would be terrified of her.

He'd put off calling Jay, but when they got back to his place he went to his office and shut himself inside, he had to psych himself up to make this call.

Kat hadn't heard a word from him since they'd set off from the doctors. The second he'd entered the house, he'd silently gone to his office, leaving her stood in the hall feeling like spare part. She went to the kitchen and saw that he had nothing but his mom's home cooked meals in the freezer, and she wanted to go out and get them lunch and give him some space. She set out for her house, it was only a few blocks away. She needed to see her mom too, her girls- Beth and Nattie couldn't know Adam's private business until he was ready for people to know.

She got to her lovely red brick house and walked up the stone steps and put her key in the brass lock and entered. She'd missed her home, it was very open and she loved her big soft couch, the solid wood floors, the cream walls, the exposed beams. There was no marble floors or gold leaf spindles up the stair case, or silk covered couches- yes Del Rio had all of the above. She didn't have extravagant taste, there was no point in having a huge sprawling mansion, she loved alone, had no kids, no pets and was only home 2 weeks a year-if that.

She went upstairs to her bedroom, it smelled strange,like...after shave?

That was nuts! She'd probably left a busted bottle of perfume somewhere, she opened the window for a few minutes as she lay on the bed. There was that smell again!

She turned her head and sniffed, then she realised that it was her pillows-

''What the fuck?''

she could have sworn that it was after shave!

Clearly the stress was getting to her, nobody but her mom and Adam had keys. She tore the bedding off the bed and bundled it up shoving it in the hamper. Grabbing her car keys, she headed out and locked up her house. She pulled her dads old black Mustang out of the garage and headed to the restaurant to see her mom and pick up some lunch.

When Joy saw Katarina enter the busy restaurant, she knew straight away her girl wasn't 100%.

''Lets go to the office.''

Once they were shut inside they wouldn't be disturbed-

''Ok honey- I need you to give me the full story.''

They sat on the black leather sofa and Kat sighed- ''I'm dating Adam.''

Joy exhaled and instantly reached for her first cigarette of the day. So much for quitting! She lit up and took a deep drag- ''Ok- shock delivered. I was almost prepared for this day.''

''That's not the main thing.''

Joy looked at Katarina- ''are you pregnant?''

''No, I'm not.''

''Good, I'm only 52, I can't be 'grandma' just yet.'' Joy smirked.

''you'd be a hot grandma.'' Kat winked.

''So what's on your mind honey?''

''Lots- Jeff practically mauled me in Raleigh and now Adam is in a medical crisis.''

''Medical crisis? Jeff!''

''Jeff made a scary pass that was semi violent, but fuck that for a minute. Adam is experiencing some very messed up stuff and I think it's bad.'' she felt her eyes fill up and the tears fell.

''fuck, it's finally happened. His neck huh?''

Kat nodded- ''and I'm not sure if I'm helping at all. We were at the doctors today and he never said a word once we got in the car to come home. I saw him shut his office door and I knew I was out of things to do for him.''

''when your dad got all quiet like that, I got the hint and did what you did- left him the hell alone.''

''I remember, you used to bake bread. You'd be in the kitchen beating the shit out of a huge pile of dough.''

Joy shook her head smiling to herself at the memory, of Nate always coming to her his mood breaking into a smile at the sight of her covered in flour. She looked at her girl and asked- ''Be honest- does it look good for your man?''

She shook her head- ''I don't know, he's not going to be able to keep working if he has another surgery on his neck. But if the MRI scan shows any new spinal damage...'' she squeezed her eyes shut tight- ''He's too young to be going through something like this mom.''

Joy held Katarina- ''At least you're seeing the signs of trouble, you can try to prepare fro the consequences. I never got that lucky. He needs to take care of himself and put his health before the job.''

Joy missed Nate so much, it hurt every day. She still wore her wedding and engagement rings, to her she was still married, it'd always be that way. Being a widow at 41 hadn't been her plans. One minute he'd been laughing in the garden with her, he'd gone to get a soda from the kitchen and talk to Kat, then he was ...gone. He was still her husband and there would never be any one else for her. She only had one- for more time. Two decades together wasn't nearly enough.

''Mom, I held his hand this morning and-'' she choked- ''H-he couldn't feel it.''

Joy hugged her. When Adam had broken his neck, those weeks he was in the hospital, Kat never left his side, she'd practically lived at his bedside. When he'd finally gone home Kat had temporarily moved in with him and when they got sick of his house they had moved to her house.

''Baby, if you need to cry, you do it here, because he's going to need that strong girl who stayed with him the first time.''

Kat nodded a her mom, she pulled herself together, telling herself to stay strong was one thing, but hearing her mom tell her felt more...real.

Adam had jut gotten off the phone with Jay, it'd been very emotional, Jay had figured something was up with him after the match with Wade. Adam just needed to be near Katarina, his hands felt fine, his neck felt strange, a dull ache was throbbing through it. He needed his girls presence.

He looked around for his baby, but she wasn't there. He pulled out his cell phone and was dialling when he saw her pull up in her Mustang. It was such a cool car. He saw her pick up a bag from the passenger seat. She'd been out for food.

When she got in he gave her a smile- ''Hey you.''

She returned his smile- ''hey handsome.''

''What you got there?''

''My mom's macaroni and cheese and those cheese dough balls that you love oh and she sent your favourite- her home made lemon cheese cake ice cream.'' she loved seeing that grin on his gorgeous face.

''Your mom's the best cook.''

''Wow, wait till I tell Judy that she's in second place.'' she teased leading the way to the kitchen.

Adam was hot on her heels- ''Don't you dare! But if momma Joy is handing out the ice cream I guess she doesn't hate me.''

''She's warming to you.''

Jeff had thought he was So busted when Kat had come home and sniffed the pillow where he'd been laid on her bed. He'd heard the key in the lock and quickly ducked inside of her walk-in closet. She'd looked stressed, too much to be rational. She was probably still a bit mad as him, so he'd talk to her later.

He was currently sat on her sofa looking through her photo albums. With every page that he turned, he got more and more angry, every page had pictures of her and some guy- Kat and Jay! Kat and Adam! Kat and Evan Bourne! Kat and Randy! But in no place did he find a single picture of Kat and himself.

On the phone when he'd rang her after Amy had hit Twitter, he'd been wanting to know if she was ashamed, she'd claimed not to be, but now he had proof that his suspicions had been correct. He'd been in her life for a year, where was his page?

Was he hidden away in some box, buried in the depths of an attic? Out of sight?

He'd walked on egg shells at the WWE or her, so she never had to face Adam and Jay's disapproval of him, and this is how she repays him!

He was her dirty secret, not good enough to openly date, he saw drops falling on the clear protective film covering the snap shots- what the hell? Then he sniffed making his broken nose hurt like hell and realised that he was actually crying. He roughly wiped his painful bruised eyes, hating his weakness. He just didn't understand what was so wrong with him? Why they'd had to pander to Copeland and Reso? Jeff knew he was a good person at heart, he'd done everything she'd ever asked of him and he'd asked for very little in return- just her love.

He knew he had to talk to her soon, because Matt and Shannon knew he was in Tampa. It was only a matter of time before they showed up.

Adam and Kat were sat on the floor of his lounge leaning against the couch, eating lunch, watching TV and he kept stealing glances at her and smiling to himself. She had this cute little quirk, where she sometime hummed a funny little tune when she chewed, it was quiet, but so cute.

He was about to say something, when her call phone started to ring.

Kat saw it was an unknown number- ''Hello?''

''Is this Katarina?'' the male voice asked in a lilting accent.

''Who's asking?'' she inquired cautiously.

''It's Matt Hardy.''

''Oh..erm hi Matt. Why are you calling?''

''Where are you?'' he sounded worried.

''I'm at Adam's house.''

''Good! Jeff's in Tampa, he might be at your house, I think he's got a key to your place.''

''To my house!'' she gasped.

''I'm not sure, he bailed and said to our dad, something about going to see you and not needing an invite when he had an open door.''

''Oh my god.''

Adam was worried, Kat looked scared.

''Kat, Shan and I are getting a rental car now, we're coming to get him!''

After she hung up, she looked at Adam- ''Jeff's here.''

''What!'' he was on alert now, his injury the last thing on his mind.

Then the penny dropped with her- ''He's been in my house.''

''when?''

''I could smell after shave on my bedding. I just couldn't believe it. He's been in my home Ad.''

He could see how upset she was as he held her, nobody had the right to make her feel this way. He pulled out his cell and dialled 911, this ended now! They got in his Jeep, he was mad as hell and headed to her house.

Kat had the job of trying to calm him down which was next to impossible, Adam had a long fuse, but when it came to serious shit he couldn't be talked down.

''Ad, if he's in there he's going to be pissed to see you, so let me do the talking, I'm not having you arrested for attempted murder. You're too pretty to end up in prison.''

When they unlocked the door, she signalled or him to be quiet, he lay his hand in the middle of her back, hating that she was taking the lead here.

Her first stop was the lounge, she saw the photo album open on the couch, she shot a look over her shoulder at Adam and with one nod, let him know that they had a third party in the house. They checked the entire ground floor- nothing. They then heard on creak upstairs and dread coursed through her. Her home had never been so quiet, she headed for the stairs, clutching Adam's big warm hand as they headed up.

Kat pushed the ajar door open and saw him laid on her antique cream chez in front of her garden view bay window, his bruised eyes snapped to her and a sad smile crept to his face-

''Hey baby girl.''

''What are you doing here Jeff?''

Kat's heart was racing, she needed to play for time until the police got there. Jesus Adam had really pounded his face in!

In the rental car Shannon was behind the wheel as Matt was on the phone to Amy-

''You dumb tart! Do you even realise what your bullshit has gone and caused?''

''Matty what are you talking about?'' she was genuinely baffled by her ex's words.

''You told Jeff that Katarina still had feelings for him- not only did he nearly rape her in a bar, he's now quite possibly stalking her, and in possession of a key to her home.''

Amy felt cold to the core, it'd been a joke, to piss off Kat and Adam- ''I-I didn't mean for it to go like this.''

''Well, it has. You don't think about anyone but yourself, you will never change. Still the selfish bitch you always were.''

''Matty please- listen, I never wanted to hurt her like that.''

''Amy, I hope for her sake he hasn't hurt her like that, because if he does we'll all hold you just as responsible as Jeff.''

with that he hung up.

Jeff eyed her in the door way- ''Why wasn't I the one in the pictures baby girl?''

''What?''

He lay comfortably with his feet up, stroking his sculpted facial hair- ''In your little album, it's like every guy in your life has his own little page, but not me, aren't I good enough?''

She could tell he was getting upset and Adam was getting mad as he stayed out of sight.

''I don't have any pictures of us Jeff.''

''Liar!'' he hissed- ''There should be hundreds of us, you always took pictures of us.''

Kat then saw a sinister smile creep over his face and it chilled her- ''Remember my birthday?''

She cringed on the inside, oh God, no way did she want Adam hearing about Jeff's birthday night!

''Baby girl, we did all the things you were too shy to ask me for. We got pictures of it all, with that old Polaroid. We were surrounded by pictures.'' his grin widening- ''They were all over the floor , the bed...the bathroom.''

Adam wanted to kill the man. His finger nails had dug bloody half moons into his palms he was SO angry. He hearing hated what Jeff had done with his Kitty Kat. Ok a lot of couples did what they had done, but this was HIS Katarina, that guy in there was scum! She'd barely have been 24 at the time and Hardy had been corrupting every last shred of that beautiful innocence he'd loved so much!

''You must still have the _good _ones.'' he teased.

Kat had burned those pictures, every last one of them, after the break up, that was the last memento she had wanted laying around. Losing patience with him she scowled-

''No, I burned every damn one of them, how the hell did get in here?''

Jeff stood up pulling her key from his pocket, dangling it from the key chain playfully- ''As good as an invite I'd say.''

''fuck you!'' she yelled.

''You already have. MANY ways, but if you want a reminder, I'm always willing.''

Adam had heard enough, he marched into the bedroom.

Jeff saw Adam Copeland and he was ready to kick the blondes ass.

Everything happened so quickly in front of her eyes, Jeff charged at Adam, she yelled, heavy foot fall pounding up the stairs, Adam's 6ft4 frame being thrown through the open en suite door and him landing heavily and awkwardly on his back on the solid ceramic tiles.

Kat didn't see the police or Matt or Shannon, she pushed Jeff away a she lunged for her and ran to Adam.

The only part of him that was moving was his eyes, she was on her knees holding his hand, the tears only began when he said shakily- ''Katarina, I can't see straight or ..feel my hands.''

Shannon had heard this and said to the second police man as the other cuffed Jeff- ''We need an ambulance here right now.'' the request was radioed in the second Shannon said it.

Matt saw the police pat Jeff down for weapons and found the key to Kat's house on him.

She saw tat he could move his limbs,but his hands were numb, he squeezed her hands- ''Please don't let go.''

Kat leaned down and kissed him- ''I'm not going to.''

Adam could feel the cold tiles beneath him, but he didn't dare move his neck or shoulders at all. He knew his tests were getting done today, this couldn't wait.

The ambulance sirens should have been a relief, but they made his stomach drop. He kept staring into her green eyes mentally pleading with her not to let go, in his head if she let go, it was sealing his fate.

He knew that was crazy. But he wasn't in the right frame of mind to be rational.

**AN: Do you want to kill Jeff yet? Lol. They're only in the very early stages of being a couple and suddenly it's all very serious. Well it's about to get harder for both of them.**

**R&R**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I hope you like this chapter and that I didn't piss off every reader with my last chapter. Sorry if I did I'll make it up to you some how ;)**

**R&R**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 15

(Friday- Smackdown- Tampa Florida)

It had been the week from hell, there was a restraining order against Jeff Hardy pending. Rumours were flying around the locker rooms over Jeff's arrest and Adam's hospital stay. Kat and Adam met with the WWE doctors, Dr Lloyd's specialists too,and Jay was the only person at work apart from the bosses that knew what was going to happen.

Adam was up and walking, with the care he'd been receiving he was once again able to register sensations. He did have some bad bruising to his back and a mild concussion. But, he'd been a bit of a jerk to Kat while he was in his hospital bed, yet she hadn't flinched, she'd cocked her brow at him and said- ''it's a good thing you're hot or I'd actually have to listen to you.''

It'd been followed by a wink and he'd realised it- she'd meant what she'd said, she really wasn't going to let go.

So, here he was, sat in the locker room, bruised and scared, in his street clothes, with Kat, wearing her 'Dashing Duo' gear, holding his hand, not pushing him for conversation, just letting him get his head together and in the right place.

He got his 5 minute call, he stood Kat never let go of his hand, she looked up at him – ''You can do this handsome, I know you can.''

He leaned down and lay a gentle kiss on her lips, then they headed down to the gorilla.

Everyone knew something was going on, seeing the pair told them it was really big.

When he heard his music begin, he looked at Kat, kissed her, stroked her cheek and said in her ear-

''I love you Kitty Kat.''

He winked, took his microphone and went out. He could hear the cheers and he couldn't break, not now, he could hear the guys on commentary saying that they didn't want to believe the many rumours they'd heard over the past week.

He walked down slapping hands with the fans, he got up the steps and ducked under the ropes, his music faded out and he took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair, before he spoke into the microphone-

''You're going to have to bare with me, I'm probably going to ramble and not make much sense, just please bare with me.''

Adam looked around the audience, seeing the 'Edge-head' signs and all the cheering fans, God he needed to feel his girl holding his hand right then.- ''A lot of people think that the WWE doesn't hurt, that what we do in the ring doesn't hurt, I truly wish that was true, we all do. Which brings me to what I'm here to tell you. A few years ago, I broke my neck, I had spinal fusion surgery, which id where they move your throat over, put in a plate and screws and because of that procedure, I knew that I was wrestling on borrowed time. Fast forward a few years and I've been in pain, I've been losing feeling in my arms. I passed all the strength tests and all those things, but I got mare tests, thankfully. But the MRI scans showed that I …..I have to retire.''

You could have heard a pin drop.

Back in the gorilla silence fell, Jay had his arm around Kat, who was sat beside him, knees drawn up to her chest, not even aware of all the eyes on her. Her focus was on the screen in front of her.

Out in the ring, he found the strength to continue-

''Trust me, it's not my choice. The doctors have told me that I've got no choice, thankfully they found out and I'm not going to end up either dead or in a wheelchair.''

The applause just floored him, he could feel his throat getting tighter, he paced, waiting foe the urge to cry to subside.

''This is so much tougher than I thought it'd be- so you know.''

The fans began chanting- 'THANK YOU EDGE!'

He smiled through the thick emotions- ''I'm not going to lie, I felt sorry for myself this week, until I talked to Christian and Kat. He's been my best friend for 24 years and Kat was both of our protégée, our trainers only daughter- the late great Nate Black. I was angry at myself, at my body too, because I felt like I was letting them down and all you guys too. I was upset, I didn't feel like I was ending things on my terms. But Christian and Kat reminded me that I've competed my whole career on MY terms. I'm still like all you guys- a huge wrestling fan at heart. I never dreamed that I'd get to this level, win this many championships, I've been so lucky. I get to retire as your World Heavy weight Champion, I couldn't think of a better way to go out, I truly couldn't.''

He paused blinking those tears away- damn it, he could not swear or cry, the time for that was later!

''I feel like I've grown up in front of you all. I've made a whole lot of mistakes in front of you too. I've learned from those mistakes in front of you, and become a man in front of you. Going from being a pseudo vampire in the Brood to one of the goofy guys with Christian with our 5 second poses- for the benefit of those with flash photography. I became one of the most despised guys in WWE history. I had a live sex celebration, thankfully NOT with Vickie Guerrero! And I hope that through it all I've earned the respect of everyone in that locker room and all of YOUR respect. No matter what, I came out here and tried to give you guys as much as I had, every single night. In turn you gave it all right back to me. So-''

He gulped, exhaling, pacing again, fighting the internal war- ''So, I'm going to miss all this- ALL of it- that reaction when I hear my music, it's like shot of adrenaline straight to my heart. It's amazing, but that being said- I don't have to wear tights tomorrow and I'm going to go home tonight and eat a whole load of ice cream.''

He smiled to himself remembering Joy Blackmore promising him a steady supply of her home made ice cream.

''But if you'd ask me if I'd do all of this again- all the way back to getting hired by J.R, would I travel all the roads? All the miles? Hop on all the flights? Do all the sleepless nights? All the surgeries? All he injuries? The metal rods in my crowned teeth? All of it- my answer would be- In a heart beat! So thank you VERY much!''

The cheer was incredible, he waited for it to quieten down before he continued.

''I want to say some special thanks- to Christian for being there every step of the way, from being little kids, to the awkward teens, to the men we grew into- you're my brother in every way that counts.''

He took a deep breath and carried on- ''To my Katarina- thank you for never once losing faith in me, through out this, you're my world.''

Back stage those words had her clutching Jay's hand as she cried silently, he'd openly told the world that they were together now, no going back.

''You came into my life at 18, this ball of energy. With a kick that could kill a guy and so much natural talent. It was a privilege to teach you and guide you. It's also an honour to be the man in your life, I love you- always have. Like I said you're my world Kitty Kat. Thank you everybody.''

He handed his microphone over to the ring tech and stepped out of the ring, slapping hands with the fans, his music playing him out one last time, with his tear filled eyes squeezed shut, his back to everyone as he stood t the top of the ramp. He threw both of his arms up and did his double- 'Rock On' salute, that cheer killing him as much as it exhilarated him and he walked back stage.

He needed Kat!

Everyone was stood just away from the gorilla to give Kat and Jay time with Adam.

She wiped her eyes and saw him, her man, looking like he was going to break down, she went straight to him. He dragged her into his strong arms forcefully, and she loved it.

He couldn't speak just yet as he held her. She quietly said- ''What you did out there, baby it was perfect.''

He looked at her, she gave him that smile, he let her cup his face in her palms and wipe under his eyes with her thumbs and said- ''Think we're missing someone from this mix.''

He nodded and looked over at Jay, who was stood a few feet away biting the inside of his lip, a sign he was holding it all inside- barely.

Kat looked back at him- ''Get over here Captain Charisma.''

The entire roster watched the trio share their special moment. They hugged and the roster had no idea what jay had said, because they had so many inside jokes, but all three of them erupted into laughter. Kat said through gasps for air- ''Wow! You guys! We made it a full 8 years without THAT getting mentioned.''

The two blondes hugged her, Adam said- ''Kitty Kat you're always at your funniest when you don't try.''

She scowled at the pair fro dragging up that memory.

He took a deep breath calming himself- ''Well, time to get my ass in line and shake some hands.''

He hugged, he shook hands and kissed the heavily made up cheeks of the Divas. At the end of the line were the bosses. He'd always had a good working relationship with Steph and Vince. Then Teddy Long looked up at him.

Adam said shaking his hand- ''I'm so sorry for being such a big pain in your ass.''

Teddy laughed- ''Apology accepted playa. You certainly made it interesting around here. Who knows maybe the second generation of Copeland's will run the hall here at WWE one day.''

Kat flushed, Jay stifled a big snort of laughter behind them and Adam let a huge smile flash across his face at the thought of his future son or daughter in the WWE. Wow, with a mom like Kat, they'd have such beautiful children! He couldn't wait to be a dad, Kat would be a great mother, he'd seen her with Steph and Hunters daughters, she was a natural.

Shaking Teddy's hand he smiled- ''Maybe one day.''

It was on with the show, Kat and Cody were in a tag team match against Kelly Kelly and Jack Swagger. Kat wanted to make Adam proud of her, she was set to win, so she'd worked closely with Kelly to give him a real reason to be happy.

Like the other Divas, Kelly wanted to be taken seriously in the job and loose the model/bimbo label. Even as Divas Champion she was treat like a joke, so taking a leaf out of the 'Divas of Doom' hand book, she'd began toughening up. She was willing to go against the ''goody two shoes'' image she'd been stuck with, she was willing to turn heel and do more than just back flips and booty shaking.

Kat liked helping the Diva, she was sweet, ok she was a bit of a slut too, but Kat could over look that if she was wanting to be a better Diva. After all the women's division was improving every week.

'The Dashing Duo' entered the arena and got cheers with a few boos and into the ring. The two tag teams had a good chemistry, the guys showing off their skills. When the girls got tagged in for the second time, it was time to unleash toe surprise and for Kat and Cody to get their win.

Adam was at the gorilla with the majority of the roster to cheer his girl on. Then the move happened she did his- ''Edgecution'' from the top rope. He was on his feet cheering-

''That's my girl!''

Beth and Nattie could see the utter pride on Adam's face, he was so happy she'd done his move to perfection. Their girl had probably made him THE most ecstatic man in the arena.

The second she got through to the back stage, he had her in his arms- ''Kitty Kat, you were awesome!''

She grinned up at her man and asked- ''Guess you saw that move huh?''

''Oh yeah, I'm so proud of you.'' he kissed her, then he pulled back and saw Cody over to their right looking really uncomfortable. So Adam turned to him and said- ''Hey Cody, great match out there.''

Cody looked surprised by his words and nodded- ''Thanks man I appreciate it.''

When Cody had gone to his locker room, Kat said- ''That was oddly nice of you, what are you up to?''

Adam frowned down at her- ''Nothing, I'm just being nice to your former flame.''

''Oh God, don't call him that, it feels weird.'' she cringed.

''Well.'' he relented- ''Not all of us have televised cat fights with other peoples ex's.''

She swatted his cute ass- ''That bitch started it, and I beta the shit out of her if you recall.''

After the show, Adam needed to go home, he was exhausted, everyone had wanted to go to a club and give him a big send off, but he just couldn't do it, plus he just wanted to be with his girl. She was taking a sabbatical and they were just going to spend some quality time together and he was going to start work on his autobiography.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind, as the water from the shower cascaded down her, plastering her long locks down her back, he lay soft kisses on her shoulder. Jesus she was beautiful from every angle. She stroked his soaked hair as those hands of his roamed over her hips. He said in her ear- ''This past week...I couldn't have done it without you.''

She turned and faced him- ''You do know that what ever might have happened, I'd still have been here.''

She knew that he'd been worried about her bailing on him, like his ex had when he'd broken his neck several years ago. The bitch more or less told him that she couldn't handle dating a guy that was crippled. She hadn't hung around to hear that he was likely to be on his feet and healed within 2 months, nope that bitch had hit the road.

He turned the water off and they just stood in the steam filled cubicle and he said quietly- ''I know you would, you never let me down. You're probably a better friend that I deserved at times.''

She shrugged- ''Guess you were just too hot to ditch.''

He gave her that huge smile, yes his life was changing in a huge way, he was saying goodbye to his job, his_ dream _job, but keeping it would end one of two ways- his death or being paralysed from the neck down. At least this way he got to have a good life, with his friends, his family and Katarina.

In the bedroom, they sat eating ice cream, with her wearing his shirt, God he loved seeing her in his clothes, there wasn't anything hotter than that sight, not even the memory of her in that Wonder Woman Halloween costume!

''Sorry if Teddy embarrassed you.'' he said, feeling his own cheeks get warm.

''Oh...that's ok.'' she didn't really know what else to say.

''I...I know you're still really young...but have you ever thought about it?''

''about having babies?'' she inquired not wanting to risk getting nay crossed wires.

''Yeah.'' he said, prodding at the ice cream thoughtfully.

She looked at him and nodded- ''Yes I've thought about it, have you?''

He nodded- ''I've always wanted to be a dad.''

She smiled- ''Because you're such a big kid at heart?''

He grinned- ''Something like that. So as you've thought about it- would you have any of your own?''

Kat smiled, knowing that look on his handsome face- ''I'd love to have kids.''

''more than one?''

''I think so. Being an only child sucked at times.'' she revealed.

''Yeah, I know that feeling.''

Kat smiled- ''God I pray that you have girls.''

''What? Why?''

''The world isn't ready for more Copeland testosterone to be running around breaking hearts.''

''I'm offended.'' he joked- ''My son will be the perfect gentleman.''

Kat giggled- ''Ah making up for your short-comings?''

He saw her wink- ''Shut up! I hope our daughter is an angel, unlike you.'' he teased back.

Kat felt a rush- _OUR? _He said- '_our daughter'_ had that really happened? Biting her lip she smirked.

Adam frowned- ''No come-back Kitty Kat?''

''Did you just say 'our daughter'?''

He nodded- ''Is that weird?''

''No,'' she relied, leaning over and kissing him- ''It's not weird at all, we'd have beautiful children. Ok they'd be a bit wild and slightly volatile, but they'd be gorgeous.''

He laughed, so glad that she wasn't freaked out by such a big thing- ''When the time comes, good to know that we're on the same page. Momma Joy will probably cut off my ice cream supply the day we announce that.''

''Ice cream should be the last thing you worry about her cutting of when babies come along.'' she teased.

**AN: Yes I'm posting at 5:30 am xmas day, because my sister has gone into labour with her second baby and sleep isn't coming back. Hope this chapter is ok R&R.**

**Merry .**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: thank you to everyone who had read and reviewed this story and added me/the story to your alerts ;) the last chapter was supposed to the the final one, but I've put together an epilogue chapter to give Adam and Kat the happy ending they truly deserve.**

**My next story will be a Jeff Hardy story. I love the guy, despite how I wrote him in this story.**

**I only own my ocs **

**R&R one last time.**

What I Can't Have

Chapter 16

(Epilogue)

(5 years later)

Kat opened the door to her and Adam's home and wheeled her suit case in for the last time. Her days on the road were at an end for now. She'd barely closed the door, before the sound of feet running could be heard and that voice that warmed her heart could be heard-

''Mommy!''

Kat lit up, there was the light of her life- all blonde hair and big green eyes- Nathan Copeland, her 4 year old son. The carbon copy of Adam, he was beautiful.

She scooped him up into her arms- ''I missed you so much baby.''

''I missed you this much.'' her flung his arms wide to show her how much.

Adam smiled, seeing his stunning wife and their son sharing that special moment. Kat's eyes found him and as they always did, they made him feel like his life was complete. Yes, they had their problems but, that was a marriage, you took the good with the bad.

Kat held Nathan and walked over to her gorgeous husband and hugged him with her free arm. Adam's big strong arms enveloped them both.

Jay smile seeing the three of them, they were so happy.

In the 5 years since Adam's retirement form the WWE, there hadn't been a moment wasted or either of them. His autobiography had been a best seller, their wedding, the baby, she'd held the Divas title a record 8 times in her 10 years at the WWE. Then there was Adam's partnership with Jay- who had also retired last year. The pair had set up a wrestling school at Nate and Bill Reso's converted warehouse, where they had trained and Kat too. Once a month a guest trainer from WWE would come down to teach.

It was a massive success and Kat was so proud of them.

Adam reached down and stroked his wife's rounded stomach- ''How's my little girl doing?''

''Craving Grandma's ice cream,'' she smiled, setting Nathan down.

Adam kissed her- ''Think we can sort that Kitty Kat.''

Kat had been doing commentary for the entire length of her pregnancy, until her contract ran out. Steph and Vince had said that once she'd had her baby girl, she only had to ring up and she would be re-signed. But that was the last thing on her mind, she was too happy to be at home with her family.

In the kitchen she hugged Jay and his VERY pregnant wife Eve. Yes, Eve Torres, they'd been paired in a tag match by Teddy Long and it'd gone from there. That man had played Cupid one last time,

The girls had a chat at the kitchen table, Kat had her ice cream and Eve was tucking into a big plate of ribs, Eve giggled-

''I swear this girl is going to pop out smelling like barbecue sauce.''

Kat grinned- ''Well, when I was pregnant with Nathan, all I craved was blue raspberry popcicles, I swear that's why he hates that damn things.''

Later that night, after Eve and Jay had gone home and Nathan was in bed, Adam and Kat lay on their bed, he was running circles over her tummy, as she played with his hair and said softly-

''We probably should start thinking about some names for our girl.''

He kissed the bump and nodded, then smiled up at her- ''remember when you were pregnant with Nathan, every time I'd sing to your stomach he'd kick.''

''I still think he was trying to tell you to shut up.'' she teased.

''He was dancing, I'm sure of it.'' he winked.

They began thinking of names- ''nothing weird. No daughter of mine is being named after fruit or colours.'' she warned- ''That's just not us at all.''

Adam pondered a while- ''How about we wait until she's born, then see what she looks like, find a name to suit her personality.''

Kat liked that idea and nodded.

He kissed her tummy again, glad that she liked that idea and began singing to the bump-

_''Ah- I don't hardly know her,_

_but I think I could love her.''_

he rested his cheek on the bump and his daughter delivered a swift punch or kick right to his cheek.

Kat felt that- ''Ooh, there I told you. I suspect our girl's going to be a future Divas Champion in the making.''

Adam rubbed his cheek- ''That's one strong girl we've got there.''

''Good, it means that she'll kick the boys asses when she'd a teenager, save you the trouble.''

Adam frowned- ''Any boys touch my little princess and I'll string them up!''

''Yes, you remember that when Orton's son starts at the WWE or Cena's son.'' Kat grinned.

Adam gulped shaking his head, those two little tear aways were only three and a half but spitting images of their dads. The next generations of Copeland's, Reso's, Orton's and Cena's were alive and kicking. Adam didn't want to imagine the chaos their kids were going to cause if they followed in their parents footsteps.

Hearts were going to be broken all over the world, after all they were handsome boys. When Kat and Eve had their girls, there were going to be two stunning young women also.

Adam shook his head- what was the WWE in for?

TROUBLE!


End file.
